a Byrd in His hands

Book, CD & DVD Swap

2012-01-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

This post is a deviation from my normal, sporadic posts. Though it may become a less random occurrence, we will see. Anywho, here's some info for you.

If you have any old books, cds or dvds and would like to get rid of them (or attempt to trade them in for something you would enjoy more), this weekend you have your chance. Kennesaw Parks & Rec is hosting a swap at the Ben Robertson Community Center (2753 Watts Drive, Kennesaw, GA). Drop off your old (but still in good condition) books, cds and dvds at the community center Thursday and Friday (26th & 27th) from 12-8 p.m. You will receive tickets for your items and can come back Saturday between 8 and 11 a.m. and use them to pick up like items (book for a book, cd for a cd).

Books must have the front and back covers intact and be in good condition. CDs and DVDs must be in their original cases and fully operable. Magazines, software, record albums, VHS or cassette tapes, adult content, unauthorized or illegal material will not be accepted. All items remaining after the swap will be donated to a local charity.

Polar Bear Plunge

2012-01-05T14:49:00.001-05:00

I am taking this opportunity to brag about my brother, Drew Ollivant. This past Sunday morning he participated in Make-a-Wish Foundation's annual Polar Bear Plunge, the Boise Idaho chapter. Not only did he raise $2,200 (the most raised by a single participant) but he was also in the water longer than any other participant. If you don't believe me, you can check out the video proof below.

A record 337 people jumped into Lucky Peak Reservoir at 11 a.m. on January 1st. The program's goal of raising $30,000 (enough to grant six wishes) was surpassed by the participants' donors.

This is his third consecutive year participating in the challenge. This year he sought contributions from a variety of sources including people on college sports websites he visits. He promised to promote each donor by Sharpie-ing their user name onto his body. One donor gave him $400 to wear an Alabama hat into the water. I look forward to seeing what he comes up with next year!

I Believe...

2011-11-28T13:23:00.001-05:00

There seems to be a magical quality about the Christmas season. There are discussions about holiday traditions and events for the family. If you have kids or are around people with kids, there tends to be talk about Santa Claus. In the spirit of the season, I thought it would be nice to share my beliefs. Please feel free to share your own in the comments section.

I believe in a Creator (God). I believe that God created the universe, the earth and everything in it. I believe there's a heaven and a hell. I believe that Jesus is God's son. I believe that Jesus lived a sinless life and died on a cross. I believe that God raised him from the dead three days later. I believe that we all sin and are in need of a Savior. I believe that Jesus is that Savior and desires for all of us to come into a relationship with God through him. I believe that each one of us has a purpose for our life. I believe that God loves me (and you) even when I/we do not choose to seek him or his will. I believe that God answers prayer, though not always as I might prefer. I believe that we have an enemy who seeks to destroy us and his name is Satan. I believe that we can have victory over our enemy through Jesus.

Those are some of my beliefs. What are yours?

Christmastime Activities

2011-11-26T21:37:00.001-05:00

Just ordered Christmas cards! Can't wait to get them in so that we can send them out. Better stock up on stamps!

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Expectations and Gratitude

2011-11-14T13:44:00.001-05:00

During my prayer time today, I was thinking about how much I appreciated Adam doing something special for me yesterday. I was trying to think of what I could do to show my appreciate for him and this thought popped into my head: EXPECTATIONS LEAVE LITTLE ROOM FOR GRATITUDE.

I realized that there are nice things Adam and I do for each other all the time, but they aren't always acknowledged. I think part of the reason for that is that some of these things have become expectations. If I expect Adam to do something, then I may forget to express gratitude even though I should. With expectations, often times an act is only acknowledged when it hasn't been completed. And then, of course, it is usually in a negative way (You didn't ____ ).

I think that's how we are with God sometimes. God has faithfully provided for us in some way (or many ways, as is often the case) - perhaps keeping us healthy or helping us meet our financial needs or goals. After a while, that's what we come to expect. So when something changes - we (or a family member) gets sick - we lash out against God (Why is this happening? Why aren't you protecting us?). Somewhere along the way we forget that we should be grateful for all of God's blessings, provisions, and faithfulness. Instead, we place expectation on God and, when something happens that isn't what we want, we blame God.

Perhaps we ought instead to make ourselves more aware of the things God and others do for us, even the seemingly mundane, and say 'thank you' even when we feel they ought to be doing it without praise. It should help us, at least, to maintain some perspective.

Fooling Myself

2011-11-11T08:41:00.001-05:00

I have been reading Personality Plus for Parents. One chapter invites parents to take their quiz to determine where they fall in the personality four-square. I have taken it before, but thought I'd do it again just because I love quizzes. In this particular one, there are two sections: strengths and weaknesses. There are 20 lines in each section containing four words. You are supposed to pick which word fits you best. Definitions are included to help figure it out. The first four word options are adventurous, adaptable, animated, and analytical. I knew animated was not the best fit. I was trying to decide between the first two (I really WANT to be adventurous, but really I know that isn't the best fitting word). I decided to ask Adam his opinion and he said analytical. I responded, "Well...." Which, of course, helped me to see that I was thinking hard about each option - analyzing, you could even say. I admitted sheepishly that that was the best option.

It's interesting how the test is set up. You go through all of your strength options, which can get you feeling good about who you are. I'm persistent, controlled, self-reliant, faithful, thoughtful, perfectionist, balanced. Of course, I realize that some of these could have a downside, like perfectionist, which is made more obvious when I hit the weaknesses part. In that section I marked unenthusiastic, resentful, pessimistic, tactless, moody, critical. By the end I felt kind of bad about myself. I sounded like an awful person. But these are personality tendencies, not everyday behaviors. I had tried really hard to consider myself optimistic. Who wants to be called a pessimist? Not me, at least. But the book's definition rang true for me however much I want to deny it - while hoping for the best, generally sees the down side of a situation first.

This exercise helped me to see that I do try to deny parts of my personality. It's probably the perfectionist in me wanting me to be all good, with no faults. What about you? Are there characteristics you possess that you try to pretend aren't there?

Improving Prayer Life

2011-11-05T20:44:00.000-04:00

I've been reading Bill Hybels' "Too Busy Not To Pray" during my quiet times lately. I have been thoroughly enjoying it. It has helped me to see how I normally pray, inconsistencies I may have, as well as ways I can become more effective in prayer. Lately, my quiet times have gone like this: Prayer journal, read the Bible, read Hybels' book, more prayer journal to incorporate what I just learned. After several days of this I have contemplated reading Hybels' book first, but think it will be more beneficial to continue with my current order.

I picked up the book for the purpose of learning how to be more effective in prayer as well as, hopefully, improving my ability to listen to God. I know that prayer is supposed to be a conversation with God. I'm good at sharing what I'm feeling/what I need but am not very good at being still before God. I don't know if others are able to quiet their mind and hear God speak to them in the stillness. I have found that I am led by God through his Word, books I read, or other people. Usually when I sit quietly, my mind wanders and it feels like fruitless, wasted time. Perhaps I need to spend more time in this practice for it to become effective.

So, what have I learned thus far? I know in my mind that God is willing and able to answer prayers, but my prayer life doesn't always reflect that. If I truly believe that God is able to answer any of my prayers, would I not bring my deepest needs to him? I realized that there are things I would like God to do but appear to feel like he won't do anything about the situation so I do not ask him. That is ridiculous, I know, but that's what my actions say. I acknowledged that part of the reason I don't ask is because I'm afraid that God won't do anything and it will mean that I am ineffective. And if I were to announce that I am praying for something and nothing changes, I fear that someone else will take it as "proof" that God doesn't exist.

I have been encouraged by realizing my thought process. The book has also provided encouragement and help for changing my thought processes. One way is to pray through ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). Spending time praising God for who he is and acknowledging what he's done helps me to get rid of my doubts that he has the capability to work in specific situations. Confession reminds me of how much I need God and how faithful he's been. The other two I've always been pretty good at, but I know that I don't always first remind myself of who God is or specifically name sin in my life and seek forgiveness and help. This method is good for shifting my attitude.

I also love that the book has reminded me that an answer of "no" is still an answer, though we tend to interpret God's "no" as God's silence. There is also a section where it suggests reasons why our prayers are not answered. The part that provided clarity to me was that sometimes there are areas in our life where we need to grow, such as eliminating sin in our life. Scripture says that sin separates us from God and closes his ears to our requests. It once again requires that I honestly examine my life to see if I am living as I should. I know that I can't be perfect, but if I am not seeking to live according to Scripture, then there is definitely a barrier between me and God.

I still have more chapters to get through and am interested in what I have yet to read. I already want to read the book through a second time. I may need to purchase a copy of my own so that I can make notes and have it on hand for those times when I feel ineffective in prayer, because I'm sure I will throughout my life.

I have some questions for you, dear reader. Do you also struggle with being still before God? If you don't, please share any wisdom that may help. Have you read "Too Busy Not To Pray"? What were your take-aways? Do you have any other prayer insights you'd like to share? Any additional prayer books or resources? I love learning more about prayer. I know that I have to be careful not to turn the things I read into a to-do list, but to use them to be more honest with God through prayer. Do you ever struggle with trying to incorporate great ideas into your life, even if they don't fit with your personality? I look forward to hearing from others!

Joy Ride - Women's Retreat 2011

2011-10-17T14:17:00.005-04:00

This past Friday night/Saturday was our church's women's retreat. It was a wonderful time of insight and refreshment for me. I'd like to share some of them with you.

The theme of the weekend was Joy. During one session we had to share a joy stealer with the other women at our table. I told the story of the Breakup (Quick synopsis: I felt that God wanted me to break up with my boyfriend. I did not want to do it, especially since I thought he was the person I was supposed to marry. I struggled with the decision but was ultimately obedient to God's desire.) and was reminded of it's purpose. God was asking me if I loved him more than anything else - more than my relationships, more than my plans, more than my hopes and desires. Did I trust that his plan was better than mine - was best? Did I trust him with my heart's desires? Choosing obedience meant that I was going all in with God. I was laying down what I thought was my future for whatever God had in store. There was no safety net. During that time of heartache, what kept me going was this thought: Adam is an amazing guy. If we are not supposed to be together, then I am trusting that God has someone even more incredible in store for me as a husband. And I learned that yes, I can trust God with my desires and my future. He came through for me in that situation. Why not trust that he will come through again?

During the retreat I also realized that my personal insecurities and self-consciousness (and desire for approval and acceptance from others) was hindering me from being completely free in loving, following and serving God. I love music and I love singing - especially praises and worship to God. But I don't think I have a good singing voice - mainly because I have a deep voice for a woman. I have long been intimidated singing with others because I fear that I sound bad. And I know that we are to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, but no one wants to be off key, especially with all of the beautiful singers around us.

God had started to help me in this area by making me a mother and giving me a daughter who loves songs. Singing alone to her has given me some confidence. I will even sing at music time with other moms and around my husband (a huge deal). This weekend we had large chunks of song time and I felt God encouraging me to sing to him and forget about everyone else. I sang louder/stronger than I ever have in such a setting (though I can't tell you how loud I actually was). I didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable but I wanted to worship God without holding back out of fear. I think I will still be somewhat self-conscious int his area for a while but I feel that major progress has been made. Maybe one day I will be able to dance and sing with abandon like King David. I wonder if singing lessons would help or just be another stressful experience? (I think I secretly fear that it would be confirmed that I'm hopeless as a singer - an obvious lie from our enemy.)

I also had a wonderful time of meeting with God in prayer and Bible reading out on a dock by the lake. The view was beautiful. I spent time admitting my weaknesses and failures, praising and thanking God, and inviting him to work in and through me. I had really been wanting to be reminded of God's love for me. He blessed me threefold! First, he did something with his creation that he knows I love. Second, he spoke to me through Song of Songs 2:10 (My beloved spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me."). When we were handed that verse and I read it, tears spring up in my eyes. I so needed to be reminded that God calls me beautiful and pursues me.

Later that evening, God did a third thing that reminded me of his love and intimate knowledge of me which blew my mind. We had a time of communion followed by the opportunity to be prayed over and consecrate ourselves anew to God. I LOVE being prayed for - it is so encouraging. While I was standing in line I pondered who I hoped would pray for me (there were three women praying). At first I hoped it would be the one who knew me best because, I figured, she would know what to pray for me. I thought some more and then hoped it would be someone who didn't know me well because it would be exciting to hear that prayer. It ended up being a women I don't know very well. She prayed for self-confidence for me. I thought, "Whaaaa...?! How did she know what I needed?!" Then it hit me. DUH!! God told her. He knows me intimately and reminded me of that by speaking straight to my heart through her. There was nothing to do but admit how small I think God is sometimes. Of course he can (and will) meet my deepest needs! He formed me in my mother's womb. He planned the time and place I would be born and live. I am his. Why wouldn't he love and care for me? And this reminder/realization could (and did) yield only one response - repentance for my lack of belief and trust coupled with adoration and praise for how amazing and loving God is. And once again, it was confirmed that I can trust God with my heart and my future. God is so good! Praise him!

It's Like Comparing Apples to Oranges

2011-07-01T15:55:00.011-04:00

A few weeks ago, I was really struggling with not feeling like I was cutting it in the wife, mother, and homemaker departments. Essentially I was questioning the successfulness of achieving my supposed identity. I'm sure that I am not the only one who has wondered whether they are meeting expectations. But the question that should be asked, is "Whose expectations am I trying to meet?" Are they God's expectations? My spouse's? Other people's? Or are they mine? (And are they reasonable?)

God, in His infinite wisdom, helped me with this issue through that Sunday's message called "Comparison's Curse" as well as through my amazing husband. I love how timely God is! Aaron spoke at church about how we, as Christians, look to the Bible and to other Christians to learn how to grow in our faith. The mistake we often make is to look at spiritual giants (or someone who excels in a particular area of spirituality) and then try to incorporate their "best practices" into our lives. There are a couple of problems with that. One - if we try to achieve everyone's best practices, we will be overwhelmed with all of this new work and ultimately fail in one or all of the areas. Two - we are different people and may not have been gifted in the same area(s) as others which will also cause us to fail. We then end up feeling miserable because we can't be just like those "super Christians".

I know that I have been guilty of this. It is definitely not bad to want to grow in our spirituality. It is not beneficial to try to be someone else. God did not make me Beth Moore Jr. or Donna Adams #2. He made me Megan Byrd, the one and only (although I do know a Meghan Byrd, but obviously the "h" makes us different). My job is to learn what God has gifted me with and then work to hone that ability for His good purposes.

That Sunday evening, I also had a conversation with my husband about my struggles with feeling inadequate/like a failure and he reminded me that he married ME, not some altered version of me. It felt so good to receive such acceptance and love from my spouse. He loves me as I am, not as I think I ought to be. Trying to gain the characteristics of other amazing women that are not compatible with who I am, will only cause me frustration and I don't need it.

Now I am focusing on accepting the present me, delving into using the abilities I've been blessed with, and seeking to know and follow God's purpose for me in everyday life.

External Righteousness

2011-06-20T10:22:00.004-04:00

At church we are going through a series called ReThink (Following Jesus is simpler than you think). It has been very good and I've been specifically challenged through the messages.

Last week, the title was "Inside-Out". Aaron talked about the misconception many Christians have that as long as we behave well then we are a good Christian. Jesus taught that what was in our heart/mind was just as important, if not more, than our actions. If we are harboring negative thoughts about someone, it is just as bad as if we were voicing them for others to hear.

We are called to be internally righteous. But it's not something we can do on our own (thank God). God is the one who is able to work in us to change our sinful desires into righteous ones. Philippians 2:13 says "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." We need to seek God in prayer for him to change our hearts to want to please him.

Something that really struck me was when Aaron said that trying to be good on your own will either cause you to continually beat yourself up for falling short or cause you to judge others for not being as holy. I have definitely been on both sides of this.

I have been reading back through my old journals lately. In high school and college I judged people all the time for not being as externally holy. I could claim that I did not curse, drink, smoke or have sex so I thought I was doing great. But by judging others I was showing the sinfulness of my heart but did not realize it. Not that I don't still struggle with passing judgment, but I now know that it's not my place (and I recognize that I'm not perfect) so that's an improvement.

I definitely have also struggled with feeling like a failure for not living up to my own expectations of how holy I should be. I see all of these other Christians who are amazing prayer warriors, or whose compassion spurs them to do amazing things for others, and those who are so generous with their time, talents and money. I have felt like I am so far behind where I should be. Or I decide that I am going to start doing something such as memorizing scripture, set a goal, and then fail to meet it or get so far behind that it seems hopeless.

I'm not saying that it's not good to desire to grow in your faith, but what will really make me grow is drawing closer to God himself and letting him lead me. Perhaps if I focus on spending time with him in prayer and Bible study, it will help me learn more scripture or develop a more compassionate heart for others. God knows what he desires of me and what my gifts are. I should trust him to work in me rather than trying to do it on my own.

What about you? Have you ever fallen into one of the two categories above from trying to be "good" on your own?

In Need of Resurrection

2011-04-29T10:10:00.007-04:00

This past Sunday's Easter message focused on John 11:17-37, the story of Lazarus' death and subsequent resurrection by Jesus. We were reminded that Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life." He was speaking not only about resurrection after death, but power for our lives right now.

In small group, we were posed several questions about resurrection and its application to us. In your life, where have you experienced resurrection? How are you/how is your life different because of Jesus?

They are definitely very good questions to think about and answer. The question that really made me think was our challenge for the week: What is dead in your life right now that you need resurrected?

It's a very good question and one that really requires me to be honest with myself. One of our members seemed to have an immediate answer that they were unreservedly not planning to share. I can understand that. Sharing something like this requires vulnerability. I have to be willing to get past the shame or embarrassment I feel about it in order to bring it into the light. Only then might I truly be able to seek Jesus' power to raise it back to life.

So, what is my thing that is dead and needs resurrection? Compassion. I just don't think that I truly feel the hurts and struggles for others. Yes, I pray for others and seek Jesus' power in their lives and various situations. But when Jesus was in Bethany with Mary and Martha, he saw their hurt and he wept. He saw AND FELT their pain and sorrow. I see it, but I don't take it on myself. I haven't felt so concerned and burdened that it pressed me to my knees in fervent and desperate prayer. It sounds awful, right? Like I am a cold, unfeeling person. I'm really not. I think I have just focused on my own life and family. I know that as one loved and cared for by God, I should also love and care for others. So I guess my new prayer should be for more compassion, for a heart open to taking in the hurts of others. It sounds a bit scary and potentially overwhelming, but "I can do all things through him who gives me strength."

Is there something in your life that is dead and needs resurrection? Are you brave enough to voice it out loud?

SAHM I Am

2011-04-14T09:56:00.006-04:00

We had a great small group meeting last night. Our message on Sunday was about boldness. Our leader presented us with several questions that challenged us and asked us to do something in the coming week. I like that our leader prompts us to come up with and share an action step. Especially since we know we will have to report back the following week.

What keeps me from being bold in evangelizing? What am I afraid of?
>Uncomfortableness/awkward situations, difficult questions, feeling stupid.

Do people look at me and say, "I want that"? Filled with the Holy Spirit, what character of who I am will I let shine this week?
>Contentment and confidence with who I am and where I am right now.

This topic of boldness is very timely for me. A couple of days ago I was talking to another woman who is also a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) and I got the impression that she felt a little guilty for her status. As a SAHM, I do sometimes feel like others think I'm not contributing or doing enough with my time. However, I am confident that being at home with Kaitlyn is where God wants me to be right now. I am contributing a great deal to her growth, development and well being. Who else is going to love my child like I do?

Yesterday I felt the Holy Spirit's prompting to write a note to the woman. I was a little nervous about it as she didn't say she felt guilty but I am trusting the Spirit's leading that the little bit of encouragement and camaraderie is what was needed. So last night's assignment was confirmation that I am doing what I ought to be and encourages me to continue. Eventually the awkward feelings will fade.

What about you? What keeps you from being bold? What part of your character will you allow to shine through you this week?

God First

2011-02-13T14:01:00.004-05:00

The other day, I was on my way home from running an errand. I was stopped at the light at Jiles Rd and Old 41. I was staring to my right at the shopping center and started reading the electronic message sign at the Barber Shop. It first read "$10 Tuesday" which made me wonder if that was a deal for barber services. I watched to see what else was advertised and was surprised to read what appeared next. "God First" it said. A completely unexpected message and yet something that was a wonderful reminder. Our day is supposed to start with God - mindful prayer at the beginning of our day to help us remember what is most important and seek guidance for whatever we may encounter.

It also seemed like the perfect answer to many questions. What do I do about an issue in my life? God first. How am I going to get everything knocked off of my To Do list? God first. How do I show love to my neighbor? God first.

I was encouraged by this seemingly random message. If a barber shop can encourage others in the faith, I certainly can. We are supposed to invite God to be part of every aspect of our life and, I assume, that's what the barber shop owner is doing. I am now challenged to be bold, or at least not self conscious, about expressing my love for God every day in my life. How can I do this? God first.

Manna From Heaven

2011-02-12T14:26:00.004-05:00

A few days ago it snowed. The grass was covered, but the roads were clear. The picture shows how the snow looked on the ground. My thought was that this is what the manna might have looked like (Exodus 16). Doesn't it look kind of like pieces of bread? It reminded me of how God always provides for us, even in ways that seem strange or have never been witnessed before. God does what is best, even though we may not completely understand it.

The manna also reminds me that God's provision is daily. He gives us just what we need for that time - no more, no less. I wonder if I would have tried to store up extra manna if I had been in the desert. That sounds like my personality (be prepared/save for the future). Though it would also have meant that I chose not to follow God's directions to me. Which, I must admit, I have been guilty on a number of occasions. I must be faithful to seek God each day, bringing to him my current needs and not worrying about anything that may or may not be in my future.

Like Father, Like Son

2011-01-31T19:45:00.002-05:00

Today in Genesis, Isaac and Rebekah were living in the land of the Philistines and told the men of the land that Rebekah was his sister. I immediately recalled earlier in Genesis when Abraham did this not once, but twice (and yes, technically Sarah was his half-sister, but still). Did Isaac know that his father had done this when he was afraid, or was it some sort of genetic trait to not trust God to protect husband and wife in foreign land? Kind of funny and yet it sort of hits home a little.

No, I have never told someone that Adam is my brother. What I am talking about is having all of these personal experiences of God's provision throughout one's life and yet having one small area where you just can't seem to believe that God will also take care of you there. There always seems to come a time when you think you had better take care of a situation on your own because God wouldn't want to intervene. Are we afraid that it is something too small and unimportant for God to be involved? Or are we holding on to it too tightly because we think we know best? Either way, if we say that Jesus is Lord, we have to allow him to be Lord in EVERY area, not just the "big" ones.

Abraham's dilemma or Isaac's childhood trauma?

2011-01-30T20:16:00.003-05:00

I'm still reading in Genesis. The other day I read about Abraham and Isaac going up to make a sacrifice. What I wonder about is what Isaac thought about his dad planning to kill him. I'm sure he knew that God saved him with the ram in the bushes, but did he also believe that God had told Abraham to sacrifice his son? Abraham didn't tell Isaac that God told him to do what he was prepared to do. I think I would have been quite wary of my father after he almost killed me. Did Isaac tell his mother and relatives when he got home? Did he resent or hate his father? I'm quite curious about the conversation between father and son, if there was one. The only thing we do know is that Isaac believed in and trusted God throughout his life. Did the event cause him to believe and trust that God would protect him and provide for him?

Whenever I read this story or have heard it preached, the focus is always on Abraham and his willingness to sacrifice his only son, God's promise to him. I haven't every heard anyone talk about what Isaac must have felt and experienced.

What about you? Have you ever wondered these things? Ever heard someone preach about it?

Long time no post

2011-01-09T14:58:00.002-05:00

I had no idea it'd been over six months since I had posted anything on my blog. I am hoping to spend more time on here this year. Still working on getting the little one down for a regular nap. If I am successful, perhaps I will be able to carve out small bits of time to write on here. I'd do it after she goes to bed, but I prefer to catch up on the day with my husband. Perhaps I can make time for both.

Time is even more of a commodity for me these days. I keep a "to do" list on my phone of things I'd really like to accomplish so that, when I get a small window of time, I can work on one of them rather than wasting it. I think blogging is now on the list. So is sending out my book query letter. That will take a bit more time, but we will get there. I'm confident. :-) Anyway, here's to a new year and a new day!

The first birth

2011-01-09T14:48:00.004-05:00

As I am a new mom and reading Genesis, I have been thinking about Eve and her experience becoming a mom. Eve didn't have a mom or any other women to tell her what the birthing process was going to be like. As a matter of fact, she had just been told that it was going to be painful. So I had a bunch of thoughts/questions about that first human birth. Did God tell her what to expect? Did he let her know that she would feel pain in her stomach and back and that meant the baby would be coming soon? Did he suggest positions for her to get into to help birth the baby? Did he instruct Adam about the umbilical cord and when/how to cut it? Was God Eve's birthing coach? And if so, what was that like - the creator of life helping to bring forth new life? Did she know about birth and how to nurse from watching the other mammals birth and care for their young? Or did God tell her that she could nourish her child from her breasts? All of these things that are hard to know. However, Genesis 4:1b says, "She said,'With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.'" And, of course, we should have known all along that God would provide Eve with what she needed. He provides for all of us. Thanks, God!

In the garden

2011-01-09T14:35:00.003-05:00

I've started reading through Genesis. It seemed like a good place to start for the new year. Chapter three was interesting and really got me thinking. In the chapter, the man and the woman eat from the tree in the middle of the garden. They then hide from God when he comes to meet with them in the evening. God asks the man if he ate from the forbidden tree. His response is not admission, but blame. "The woman you put here with me". He's blaming both God and the woman, shifting all blame away from himself. For the moment, God ignores it and asks the woman what she did. She places blame on the serpent, claiming deception. This is a clear illustration of mankind's first response to getting caught in the wrong - try to deflect responsibility. It's so hard for me to admit wrongdoing and seek forgiveness and I'm not sure how comforting it is to know that it's never been the natural response.

So they get kicked out of the garden among other consequences. But one thing I noted was verse 21 "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Even though, they had just blatantly sinned against him, he still loved them and cared for them. He lovingly provided them with clothes to help ease their shame. It is so amazing to see how much God loves his creation. I know that when I've been hurt by others, my first reaction is not to consider how I may help them. But God shows us the best way to care for others.

Give Us Daily Bread

2010-06-30T17:36:00.003-04:00

Here is week three of the God's Blog series. I was gone for week two so feel free to go to the website to hear it (Your Kingdom Come). Below are my notes from this past weekend.

Give Us Daily Bread

Matthew 6:11
We are so self-reliant. We don't like others to pay for us (our meals, etc). We save money so that when we retire no one else has to care for us.

The prayer is continual. NLT - Give us today the food we need.
>A man can no more take in a supply of grace for the future than he can eat enough today to last him for the next six months, nor can he inhale sufficient air into his lungs with one breath to sustain life for a week to come. We are permitted to draw upon God's store of grace from day to day as we need it. Dwight L. Moody
>What do you need daily from God to stay alive physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
Exodus 16:4-5, 11-30, 31,35 manna = what is it?
>God knows what we need and provides it at just the right time; he is our sustainer.
>What do I need each day to live?

The prayer is contentment.
>Proverbs 30:8-9
>We want what we want when we want it.
>>Revelation 3:17
>Real contentment is needing nothing apart from God.

The prayer is communal.
>We have no right to ask for anything for ourselves that would harm others.
>Basil the Great quote
>1 John 3:17
>>Sometimes meeting the physical needs is most important.
>I like to ask people from developing countries what they think heaven will be like. Most of them say, 'It will be a place where I don't need to worry about food and I won't hear my children cry because they are hungry.' Steve Hanson
>John 6:47-58

Our Father In Heaven

2010-06-30T17:29:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago we started a new message series called God's Blog: What God Wants Us To Know About Prayer. Here is the first week. You can hear it and all of the subsequent weeks here. Below are my notes.

Our Father In Heaven

Live the Lord's prayer
Matthew 6:5-8 -> how NOT to pray
>Look at how kids interact with a good father

OUR
>It's plural, communal
>Prayer is never solitary. We are with Jesus and all others who follow him. Eugene Peterson
>We can trust God; he keeps our conversations confidential

FATHER
>OT title referencing father of nations (nationally)
>NT, Jesus first to use it personally (intimate)
>You can approach God anytime, anywhere - he just wants you to do it
>Hebrews 4:16

IN HEAVEN
>Seems like a remote location
>Greek references the atmosphere, the sky, the air - God's all around, present everywhere
>>Closer than the air I breathe; right here, right now
>God is sovereign, he rules all
>>Nothing is too silly or trivial not to pray about

HALLOWED
>to attach appropriate value to something

BE YOUR NAME
>God's name is not given appropriate worth
>May all people realize your greatness and worth

Prayer is exhaling the spirit of man and inhaling the spirit of God. Edwin Keith

What do you want?

2010-06-30T17:14:00.002-04:00

I have been reading The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan. It's a somewhat slow read as I try to fit it in during Kaitlyn's nap time. But that works because it's a one-chapter-a-day kind of book. Today I was reading a chapter called "Stopping to Listen to God" or something along those lines. The challenge (there's a Sabbath Liturgy at the end of each chapter) was to find one of the questions God asks in the Bible and think about it and answer it as if God were asking you. It had several examples such as, "Who do you say that I am?" and "Who told you that you were naked?"

I decided to start reading John today and came across a question in the first chapter. John sees Jesus and says, "Behold, the Lamb of God." Two of his followers then go over to Jesus to become his followers. Jesus asks them, "What do you want?" I thought that was a pretty good answer to think about and respond to. I ended up with a long list which I will try to reproduce most of here.

Jesus: What do you want?

Me: I want to spend more time in prayer. I want to read the Bible regularly. I want to learn more scripture so that it is "hidden in my heart" because I know that the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. I want to be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend... I want to use my time wisely. I want the book to be used for God's purposes. I want to know you more. I want to be full of joy and I want my joy to be evident to all. I want to know and do God's will. I want to be who God created me to be. I want to not worry about what other people think of me. I want to have more authentic conversations. I want to not have reservations about sharing my life - praises, joys, fears, failures - with others. I want abundant life.

What about you? What do you want?

Running Ahead of God

2010-06-08T18:21:00.002-04:00

Here is the last week of the series. Click here to listen to it.

JONAH: Running Ahead of God

Chapter 4
"My way or the highway"
Jonah's angry at God because he's so loving and merciful.
>Self-advancing: everything is about him
>>He wanted to advance his reputation as a prophet, not allow the Ninevites to repent and receive mercy from God.
>Comprehension and compromise
>>This world is bigger than my life; God has much more in mind than just me.
>>Sometimes God wants to do things that are different than what we have in mind to do.
>>Wanting what's best overall versus just for me.

>Self-absorbed
>>Is God enough? Or are we focused on something else?
>Concern (for others)

>Self-above
>>"My way versus the higher ways" Isaiah 55:8-9 (NLT)
>Compassion
>>C.S. Lewis: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of your self less."

Approx 700,000 people in Cobb County; approx 280,000 who don't know Jesus (which is approximately 20,000 in Acworth/Kennesaw)
>Having compassion for those who don't know Jesus.
>Talking to others about God and Jesus.

This message really got me thinking about how little I talk about God with others. There are a few people (Christians) that I talk about it a lot with, but not really with acquaintances, neighbors, etc. When I went to Spain in 2002, I was studying with about twenty other people, all essentially strangers at the beginning. I had just had a renewing of my faith that summer and so I was really interested in talking with others about their beliefs and what they think about God and Jesus. During my three and a half months there, I had a faith conversation with every other student on the trip. It wasn't an intimidating thing and occurred fairly naturally. I even helped form a Bible study with a few other of the students while we were there. What happened that I have stopped desiring to know what other people think and share what I believe? I really did enjoy that season and desire to begin being more open again.

Running With God

2010-06-08T18:16:00.003-04:00

Here's week three of the series. If you want to hear Neal's whole message, click here.

JONAH: Running With God

Chapter 3
Roy Reagles - 1929 Rose Bowl
-He didn't allow this mistake to define the rest of his life.

Jonah gets a chance to change.

Jonah complied to the call.
-Do we ever think, "I should be able to run my own life?"
-Roger Staubach: "I faced up the the issue of obedience. Once I learned to obey there was harmony, fulfillment and vicctory."

Many people suffered for the cause of Christ. Why do we think that we won't be called to suffer as well?
What is your Ninevah? Where are you being called to go and minister?

Jonah completed the cycle of compassion.
-"Who knows?" > How are we to know what God might do when we are obedient and faithful?

Jonah's Report: They accepted being admonished.
Ninevah's Response: They acted in accordance.
Ninevah's Reward: They avoided God's anger.

I really liked the reminder that we don't know what God might do to a situation if we are obedient and faithful to him regardless of the circumstances. God can do anything, even that which seems impossible. My job is to trust him and act accordingly.

In Too Deep

2010-05-27T20:09:00.002-04:00

Here is week two of our current series. The notes are few because about halfway through Kaitlyn got a little fussy and I left service with her. To hear how it ends, click here.

JONAH: In Too Deep

Chapter 2
Jonah prayed inside the fish - what else did he have to do?
Jonah doesn't receive a dramatic rescue - he's unceremonially vomitted onto the beach.
God is up to something great.
The book of Jonah is a comedy, a book of hope.

Multiple parallels between Jonah and Jesus:
>both sleeping on a boat when a storm came
>both provided the means to calm the storm

--There are more, but I had to leave. I found that part of the message very intriguing.

I like the reminder that sometimes our only job is to pray (there's nothing else we can do but pray in certain circumstances). Feeding Kaitlyn provides me with large chunks of time where prayer could be the best use of my time. I really need to take more advantage of this allotted time.

On the Run

2010-05-27T20:02:00.003-04:00

We started a new series at church on May 16th. It was also our last Sunday at that location. We had to move to a different middle school for the summer due to renovations. Hopefully we can find our own building before we have to make another temporary move. Only God knows - and I'm praying about it. Below are my message notes. You can listen to the audio version here.

JONAH: On the Run

Chapter 1
"The word of the Lord came"
>God speaks to us as well
>Many times He tells us to do something we don't want to do
Nahum > Ninevah is "the city of blood"

Jonah ran away from God's task
>He didn't want to do what God said (and neither do we at times)
>In Jonah's day it would have taken a year to get to Tarshish
>Maybe you're drifting away rather than running
Hebrews 4:13 - you can't hide from God

Sometimes when you're on the run God will send a storm into your life.
We believe our personal sin or rebellion won't affect or harm others.
Jonah decided that he'd rather die than continue running from God.
>It's exhausting trying to keep your sin covered.

The Lord provided for Jonah.
Jonah couldn't get away from God. The Lord pursued him and chased after him.
God wants us to run toward him and with him.

Is there any area in my life where I am resisting or running away from God?

I thought that this was a really good message. Especially the acknowledgement that our sin and decisions won't affect others. God created us to be in community. Therefore, when we don't fulfill our role, we are harming the community. It should spur us to do what God has called us to do with our talents and gifts so that our community will not lack for what we can provide.

It's been a long time...

2010-05-08T08:50:00.003-04:00

I promise I haven't given up blogging. I had a baby in March which has taken up all of my time since then. I don't know if I mentioned that I was pregnant, but now I'm a mom! Pretty crazy. But also pretty awesome. My little girl was born four weeks early, but she was strong and healthy and we were pretty much ready for her arrival. My husband's work had thrown a shower the day before and given us a Pack-n-Play which has come in quite handy.

I had a c-section because baby girl was breech so it was a while before I got to see and hold her. Not my ideal birthing experience. Because of the way KB came into the world, I didn't really feel overwhelming love for her. There was definitely an instant care and concern wanting her to be okay and checking her during the first night to make sure she was still breathing (I still do that when she sleeps for long stretches at night). It didn't feel like love, but I guess love for a child is different than the romantic love I have been used to experiencing with my husband. I should be comparing it more to how I feel about my parents and brother, I suppose (I'm just now working this out in my mind).

My parents came for a few weeks and were a lot of help. It was nice when it became just the three of us so that we could start working on a routine. We're definitely getting there. KB is sleeping more at nights (awesome) and I am figuring out the best times to do certain tasks during the day. I'm going to start transitioning back to work on Monday so that will be interesting. Yesterday I tested out the infant carrier that allows KB to be attached to me and gives me two free hands. That may come in quite handy in the office (I'm very blessed to be able to take her with me when I go back).

Adam's parents, sister, and nephews (almost 4 and 19 months) arrived yesterday. They wore KB out with their energy and excitement which helped her to sleep for 8(!) hours last night. I was anticipating their arrival and looking forward to having others to entertain her while I was able to do other things (like write a blog entry, eat a hot breakfast, and shower). While that is a benefit, I have also found something I didn't anticipate: mommy protectiveness. I'm watching the boys interact with her and trying not to jump in to the situation. She starts getting a little fussy and I want to take her from whoever is holding her and cuddle her. She starts yawning and I want to lay her down right away instead of allowing her to interact with family a bit longer. I actually started missing being alone with her. Quite a surprising revelation to me. At the same time I am glad that everyone is here and getting to spend time with KB. I will probably miss some of the break I am getting but am glad to know how strong my feelings for KB are.

Related to the main theme of the blog, I really haven't had any structured quiet time since KB has been born. I've been able to do a little reading here and there. Most of my prayers have been about KB - gaining weight, eating well, etc. I went to prayer group on Thursday which was quite beneficial and encouraging. It helped me to see that there are plenty of opportunities for prayer - about every three hours when it's time to feed KB are wonderful opportunities. I knew that everything would change in this regard, and am working to figure out the best method for my changed schedule. I definitely want to return to verse memorization. In the early weeks when KB was fussy I was trying to recall verses to share with her and realized that my recollection has decreased. So that's a goal now.

I promise that all future posts will not be about motherhood, but that's now my life so it will definitely be part of it. Hopefully I will also be able to make time to talk about what I'm learning and experiencing and share with with you here. Thanks for not giving up on me!

Living Beyond Myself...Week 4

2010-03-02T13:55:00.002-05:00

Here is the last message of our most recent series. To hear the whole thing, or to hear about Jeff's trip to Ecuador with Compassion International, click here.

The Power of Doing Good

Einstein quote: The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

WHY should we do good?
>It is God's destiny for us.
>Ephesians 2:10: For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
>God wants to bless the world but will do it only through other people.

Hebrews 10:24: And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

2 Thessalonians 3:13: And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

Matthew 5:16: Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Titus 3:1,8,14: Remind the people...to be ready to do whatever is good,...those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone....Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives.

1 Timothy 6:17-19: Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Luke 6:31-35: "Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners', expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."

Romans 12:20-21: On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink."...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

If you are alive, God has things he wants you to do.

WHERE should we do good?
>Wherever we are where goodness needs to be done.

HOW should we do good?
>Discover and develop our spiritual gift, putting it into play.
>However the Spirit leads you.

Dr. Albert Schweitzer: Keep your eyes open for the little tasks - because it is the little kind tasks that are important to Jesus Christ.

John Wesley: Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can!

As a challenge from the message, we were all given envelopes with a task inside that would lead us to do good to someone around us. It was interesting that my task was perfectly fitted to my gifting. Adam's was something that would fit into his normal routine. I wondered if anyone got one that was outside of their skill set or comfort zone. Neal said that he switched with another person because hers was something that didn't fit, as was his, but switching them created a much better fit. Interesting to me.

This series has really been good at getting me to think about how I spend my time and challenging me to look beyond myself to the needs of others. I hope that I will continue to look for ways to serve others in small (and sometimes big) ways. No task is to small to be a good deed.

Living Beyond Myself...Week 3

2010-03-02T13:40:00.005-05:00

I know I'm a little behind getting this posted, but I've had a busy last few weeks of February.

Just Jump In!

Every time the rooster crowed, for the rest of Peter's life, he was reminded of his thrice denial of Jesus.

John 21:2-9

v7: When Peter learned it was the Lord, he jumped into the water to get to Jesus.
>What do you think the interaction was like between Peter and Jesus after the resurrection?

v12-17: Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him (once for every denial?)
>To reconcile their relationship.
>He gave Peter things to do to show his love for Jesus (serve my people).
>>We see in the rest of Peter's life that he served all out.

Dr. David Alan Black quote

>Words are attractive but deeds speak louder than words.

So obviously there aren't a lot of notes. This tends to happen when Neal speaks because he tells stories and I tend to spend my time listening rather than jotting down my thoughts. You can listen to the whole message here. I had not previously noticed that Jesus asking Peter three times if he loved him could be the symbolic act of canceling out his previous denials - a restitution of sorts. Neal pointed out that the Scripture notes that Peter was hurt that Jesus asked him THREE times about his love. That hurt was probably a minuscule amount of what Jesus felt when Peter denied him.

I enjoyed the reminder that we are to show our love of Jesus through our actions and our lives. Serving others should be the response to our love for Jesus. I need to constantly consider, "Are my actions indicating that I love Jesus?"

How Quickly We Forget

2010-02-15T12:19:00.004-05:00

This morning I was reading 1 Kings 18-19. It was a great reminder of how quickly we are able to forget God's work in our lives, especially when we allow our circumstances to appear bigger than God.

Elijah is the example in these two chapters. God tells Elijah to go to Ahab, who had been killing all of God's prophets at the command of Jezebel. Elijah did just as God had told him to do. He met Obadiah who worked in the palace and told him to bring Ahab to meet him. Obadiah was hesitant because he knew that Ahab had been trying to kill Elijah for some time and was afraid that it would happen (Obadiah had actually hidden 100 prophets in caves so that they would be spared.), but he does what Elijah requests.

Elijah then challenges the prophets of Baal to a test to see whose God was the true God. He set the parameters and invited the Baal prophets to go first. They tried nearly all day to get Baal to respond, but to no avail. When evening came, Elijah called upon God to show that he was the one true living God and he did. Elijah then had all of the prophets of Baal killed. He also told Ahab that there would be rain (there had been a famine in the land) which God provided.

The next day Ahab reported all that had happened to Jezebel who responded by sending a death threat to Elijah. In response, Elijah ran for his life. He ran far out into the desert where he asked God to kill him. God sent angels to care for him and send him on to Mount Horeb where God himself appeared to Elijah. When asked by God what he was doing, he lamented that he had been faithful to God but was now the only prophet of God still living and was being hunted down as well. In response, God gave him tasks that he was to complete.

I got a lot out of this passage this morning. My observations were the following:

>God had just burned up the altar to prove that he was the living God and not 24 hours later Elijah was afraid of a woman who worshiped a god that didn't exist. He had trusted God to keep him safe when going to a man who had killed most of the other prophets of God, but didn't trust him to keep him safe when receiving a specific threat.

>Obadiah had told Elijah that he had saved one hundred prophets and yet Elijah is whining that he is the only one left. Did he not hear what Obadiah had said? He was stuck in self-pity land.

>Elijah whines to God when asked why he had fled and God's response is not to remind him that he's not alone, but to send him off to anoint people to fight on Israel's behalf. He also tells him to anoint Elisha to become prophet after him, which may have helped him to feel that perhaps he wasn't in danger, but hopefully reminded him that God was in control. I mean, God just revealed himself to Elijah on the mountain, if that doesn't bolster faith, there's a problem.

I know that I am guilty of forgetting what God has done for me. I'm sure I have gone from a mountain high to a mountain low in an extremely short period of time. I am sure that God gets frustrated with me when I doubt his goodness or presence. However, I am thankful for the reminder that he will still use me despite myself because he has plans that he is going to see through. Elijah wasn't written off as hopeless. God encouraged him and then sent him off to do more things that God wanted him to do.

Living Beyond Myself...Week 2

2010-02-15T11:36:00.004-05:00

Below are my notes from yesterday's message.

What? Me, a Priest?

Many gift cards have the following phrase included on them: "Not good unless redeemed."

Before Jesus, God worked through a select group of people: priests.
The Day of Pentecost: all believers are filled with the Holy Spirit (now every Christ-follower is a priest [has direct access to God]).

1 Peter 2:9
How do we get people to realize that they are priests (able to communicate directly with God)?

1 Peter 4:10
Help them to see their gift.

1 Corinthians 12
Just because you aren't a "major" body part (hand, eye) doesn't mean that you aren't an important and necessary part. Different does not mean insignificant.

Each person is given a gift to show the world who God is (hospitable, compassionate, creative, etc)

v18: God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
>We are not to wish we had other gifts because God gifted us specifically.
>We are responsible for determining and developing our gift(s).
>When we choose not to use our gift, the whole body suffers.
>No one has every gift; therefore, we need others to have a complete body.

Kirbyjon Caldwell quote: There are two great moments in a person's life: the moment you were born and the moment you realize why you were born.

Chariots of Fire: God made me fast. And when I run I feel his pleasure.

Complete this for yourself: God made me ________. And when I ________ I feel his pleasure.

I really enjoyed the reminder of the importance of using the gifts we've been given. I think we do sometimes feel like what we have been gifted with is insignificant or not as good or important as gifts others have. It's like Adam said last night watching the NBA All-Star Game, "All athletes want to be musicians and all musicians want to be athletes." Even though they have a great ability, they still desire that of someone else. We, as humans, really struggle with contentment in all areas of our lives. It is encouraging to be reminded that God gave me my gifts specifically. He didn't create me to be an amazing singer. I shouldn't feel inferior to those who are because my gifts are not less important than theirs.

Jeff handed out Gifts Assessments for everyone to fill out in order to discern and then develop the gift(s) they have been given. I took it and found my top three to be Encouraging, Shepherding, and Leadership. I wonder if there will be a more detailed description of the various gifts in the assessment. I have known for quite some time that I have been gifted with Encouragement. I have seen God use me to help others in their faith, especially when they needed a lift. I definitely want to be used more in this area. I should probably pray for an open heart and mind to see opportunities.

If you are interested in taking the assessment, let me know and I'll email it to you.

Living Beyond Myself...Week 1

2010-02-09T14:05:00.002-05:00

We have started a new series at church. I wonder if each month will conveniently have its own susinct message (Jan had a 5 week series, this is a 4 week series...so far so good!). Perhaps I'll mention it to Jeff. Without further ado, notes from Sunday's message are below.

The Great Gamble

We all have something inside ourselves that hungers for greatness.

Sepphoris: city in Galilee where people sought wealth, fame, material possessions (makes me think of Dubai).

Matthew 5:13a,14,16
>The city community Jesus was going to build.

John 3:30 "He must become greater; I must become less."

Matthew 20:25-28
Washing feet was such a menial task that even Jewish slaves did not do it. Gentile slaves were given this job.

John 13:4-5;15
Greatness in God's eyes is different from greatness in the world's eyes.

M. Scott Peck quote: Until that moment the whole point of things had been for someone to get on top, and once he had gotten on top to stay on top or else attempt to get farther up. But here this man already on top - who was rabbi, teacher, master - suddenly got down on the bottom and began to wash the feet of his followers. In that one act Jesus symbolically overturned the whole social order."

Acts of kindness, service in love - to be the defining qualitie of Jesus' followers (his community/city)

John 13:14-17
>If it is not too lowly for me (Jesus), it's not to lowly for you (follower).

Acts of service don't have to be huge or spectacular. It can be as "small" as letting someone else go first.

Do you really believe that greatness is defined by service?

Challenge: Do one of two things over the next several months: 1)Live for God's purpose and other people's needs, or 2)Live for yourself and your own needs and purposes. Do it long enough to see its effects and determine whether your life feels fuller or emptier.

Are you going to choose to live FOR or BEYOND yourself?

Frederick Buechner: The life you clutch, hoard, guard, and play safe with is in the end a life worth little to anybody, including yourself, and only a life given away for love's sake is a life worth living.

My thoughts: I really liked the reminder that service doesn't have to be a big weekend project or something that requires traveling to a nonprofit organization to do. Service can be emptying the dishwasher or picking up a piece of trash you come across. Sometimes I don't think about such mundane things as being service, but they are. I am choosing to do these things so that someone else doesn't have to or to serve the better good.
I was trying to figure out where I struggle the most with serving and/or acts of kindness. I realized that I hesitate most when it involves money. Not necessarily giving to an organization, but participating in something that will require me to provide resources for something. For example, I found a Bible study that I think would benefit my friend (and myself) but of course I have to purchase the workbooks. It isn't super expensive, but I noticed that I paused before following through. I know that God has placed me in this person's life to provide encouragement during a difficult season. I know that God has provided us with the ability to purchase nonnecessities. Why do I hesitate to do something for Him (help another) with something that is His (our money)? So that's sort of my challenge to myself - not to avoid opportunities to bless others just because money is involved.
I was a little amused when Jeff offered us both sides of the challenge - to serve others OR ourselves. It sounds kind of absurd to live for ourselves (Do what you want to do. Don't offer to help others. Make sure you get what you need. Don't consider others' needs.) but I know that I am guilty of that at times. I just don't think about how silly and selfish and un-Jesus-like it is. I do wonder if anyone will test out this side. I'm just thankful for the reminder that I can serve in little ways every day. Perhaps it will even help make mundane tasks like cleaning less...mundane. Looking for small ways to serve has already shown me that there's always something that can be done. It has also showed me how I have chosen to be selfish in the past (ouch).

What do you get out of the challenge? Do you feel like you are good at serving and doing acts of kindness every day?

Just Say Yes...Part 5

2010-02-02T11:14:00.002-05:00

I finally made it through a whole series! Sunday Neal spoke to us about Nehemiah. He showed an awesome video that Adam shared was created and performed by two former NC State grads (The Fabulous Bentley Brothers). Quite entertaining. Check it out here. To hear Neal's message, click here.

Just Say Yes...When You Face Opposition

Nehemiah 1-6

Why do we avoid opposition when it comes to building up the cause of Christ?
Have I ever been a part of something that built up the cause of Christ and created opposition?

Nehemiah was the king's cupbearer in Susa. Jerusalem's walls were destroyed.
Ch 1:3-11 refers to prayer five times

Nehemiah's plan consisted of prayer, preparation, poise and perseverance.
Ch 2:1-8 he prayerfully asks the king for permission to return home and for help with supplies to repair the walls.
v11-16 he inspects the work to be done and v17-18 presents the plan to rebuild to the people who agree

The priests built the first gate as an example to the people. Everybody was involved in rebuilding the walls - everyone has a role to play.

Ch 4 the people were ridiculed and reminded that it would take awhile to complete. Then there were threats of physical violence. v13 they posted guards and continued to work.

"God, make me strong so that I can stand up under the pressure of opposition."

Ch 5 we learn that the Jews had been taking advantage of their countrymen by exacting usury.

We may not be facing opposition because: 1-We're not doing anything to give Satan a reason to be concerned or come against us; 2-we are the opposition; 3-we are not doing anything at all - not complaining, not helping).

Ch 6 rumors were spread to frighten the people. v9-but I prayed.
v15-16 the wall is finished; the surrounding nations are afraid because they knew God had been involved.

Nehemiah worked for 12 years to help restore Jerusalem. Then he returned to Susa as he had promised the king.

His continued efforts made a difference. It wasn't a one day or one time service project.

You have to have a plan if you are going to persevere.

I really liked the reminder that we all are supposed to be doing something to further the cause of Christ. Our response to God didn't end once we accepted Christ - that was just the beginning. The story reminded me that I'm much more likely to be passionate about a cause that is close to home (I can relate to, or is physically near). We all are willing to do what is needed to protect our homes and families and that may be our motivation for our acts of service. Not that it's an excuse not to help people in other countries. We all should be able to relate our need for Christ in our lives to the importance of others all over the world hearing about Jesus' life-giving salvation. We need to remember that we should be constantly serving, not just intermittently.

Modern-day Idols

2010-01-28T10:19:00.003-05:00

I have been slowly reading through the Bible (started sometime last year) in between Bible studies. Right now I'm plugging through Isaiah, which has always been an interesting and sometimes confusing book. The other day I was reading in chapter 44 and there's a section about man making idols (verses 6-23).

A carpenter cuts down a tree in a forest. He uses some of the tree for wood in his stove. The other part of the wood he uses to make an idol which he bows down to. God points out the ridiculousness of making something out of wood and then worshiping it and asking it to save you. How can someone think that something they created themselves could have any power of its own? It's like picking up a stick and asking it to help you find a job. People would think you're crazy!

At first, it may not seem like people today make things to worship, however some definitely worship man-made things like money and power and status. While there may not be a shrine in one's home to these things, they still can hold power over a person and be the reason why s/he work so hard or is willing to blur the lines at times. People may not see these things as gods or idols, but they certainly can be.

It makes me wonder, what do I spend my energy, time and money pursuing? Is it something created by this world or is it God?

Isaiah 44:24-26 : "This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the Lord, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself, who foils the signs of false prophets and makes fools of diviners, who overthrows the learning of the wise and turns it into nonsense, who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of his messengers."

Just Say Yes...Part 4

2010-01-28T10:00:00.004-05:00

Here is this past week's message a few days late. I think that everyone will find it quite relevant. You can listen to it here. Enjoy!

Just Say Yes...When You Have To Wait

David

We will spend two to three years waiting in line, approximately 6 months waiting at a stop light (maybe more since we live in Atlanta).

Even though we get a lot of practice waiting, we haven't gotten very good at it (In this case, practice doesn't make perfect.).

1 Samuel 16:1-13 : a twelve year old is anointed to become king but God does not give a timeline for when this will happen
>Why didn't God wait to anoint David shortly before he became king?
-->There is something that happens in waiting that is necessary in our becoming who we're supposed to be.
-->If we didn't wait, certain qualities would not be developed in us. (James 1:2-4; Romans 5:3-4)

We are supposed to wait actively.
1 Samueul 17:20-51
>Saul becomes jealous of David and tries to kill him for several years.
1 Samuel 24:3-12
>David knew that it was not his job to take out Saul so that he could become king. He trusted that God would fulfill his plans in his timing.

We are supposed to wait patiently.
>Abraham faced the consequences of his inability to wait on God for a son (Genesis 16).
-->We sometimes try to take God's promise and our plans and cram them together.

We should wait expectantly.
2 Samuel 5:4 : David becomes king nearly two decades after his anointing.
>David's waiting finally ends.
>Psalm 40:1-3
>Isaiah 40:27-31
-->We should have a sense of hope and excitement because we know that God's promise will be fulfilled.

Ultimately we are in a constant state of waiting - for the return of Christ.
>Romans 8:19-25
>Revelation 21:4

A reminder about waiting God is especially relevant in today's culture and economy. We're all about now and fast (Drive-Thrus, Speedos, Quik Trip, Rapid Release medication). At the same time there are many people who are in need of a job and have been playing the waiting game. I liked to reminder that we will always be waiting on something. If we're not waiting on God to lead us to a job, we may be waiting on wisdom regarding a certain situation. Even if everything in our life seems to be going smoothly, there will be an opportunity to wait coming up. It's always something.

For me, I am heading into a season of waiting with the book I'm working on. I am at the point of trying to find a publisher. I will submit summaries and proposals and then have to wait and see if I receive any response. I hope it will be easier to be patient throughout the process knowing that waiting has purpose and should be an expected part of life.

Right now, I suppose I am also sort of waiting to become a parent. I know that it is coming, but I don't know exactly when. In the meantime, I am trying to wait actively by preparing a place for the baby and reading about the various aspects of caring for a child.

What are you waiting for? Have you been able to wait patiently, actively, and expectantly?

K.I.T. and Facebook

2010-01-19T15:05:00.005-05:00

I am once again feeling a little frustrated about the issue of maintaining relationships. This time it's slightly different. I am recently aware of my efforts to contact people and then not receiving a response back. My previous concern was with having to always initiate contact. This new revelation is like the second layer - initiating but then hearing nothing in reply.

I do realize that people are busy. I also know how hard it is to maintain long-distance relationships, especially when you have friendships in your local area that you are trying to maintain. I can't really fault anyone for choosing to spend their time keeping up with those they see over those they used to see. It can be a little difficult for me sometimes to lose once-close friendships. I guess my purpose in blogging about it is to help me deal with the emotions involved with losing friends. Sharing helps me to let go and move on.

I am realizing more and more that Facebook has become a way to appear to maintain contact with others. You "friend" someone because you have known them at some point in your life. You may never visit their page or comment on their status or photos, but you feel like you're still connected. You may decide to look at their info every once in a while, but choose not to leave any indication that you visited. Relationships usually involve communication (specifically two-way) and Facebook (or Myspace - I'm not prejudiced) has helped to disconnect us even more while helping us to think that we're actually more connected. I think it would be interesting if there was a feature that would remove friends from your list if no contact had been made between either party for a certain period of time. I know I'd have a lot fewer "friends".

And that's another thing that irks me but that I am guilty of as well. "Facebook friends" - people that you don't really care to stay in regular contact with but are okay with them learning about your life online. It can really hurt to learn that you have been relegated to "Facebook friend" status when you thought you and the other person were closer than that - this happens when you learn about some major life change/event via the person's status rather than a phone call, email or some other somewhat direct mode of contact. I realize that email can be depersonalized, just like those group Messages people send out through Facebook, but at least they thought about clicking on your address versus skipping over you. Not that this really brings much comfort.

Okay, enough of that for today. I didn't even mention the whole mess of "defriending", which I'm sure will be discussed in a future rant. Until then, just because you never hear from me on Facebook doesn't mean you aren't important to me... (Right?)

Just Say Yes...Part 3

2010-01-19T14:52:00.002-05:00

This past Sunday, Neal shared the third installment of our Just Say Yes series. It was quite enthusiastically given and one I think you would enjoy hearing. My notes are below.

Just Say Yes...When You Are Afraid

The Book of Esther

Even when God seems invisible, he's still evident and invincible.

Esther became the Queen (bride of the King) which meant that she received all of the rights and privileges of the royal family.

Esther 4:14-16: For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."
>Esther's call and response.

Even when Esther was afraid, she still said yes.

We must stop making excuses and start making decisions to just say yes.

Are we living fully in the promises and rights of God's family?

We aren't promised an easy life as Christians, only a great end reward.

Do you realize the full potential of being part of the Royal Family?

Do you believe that God has purposed you for such a time as this?

Matthew 10:28
>God is the only one who matters. Your relationship with him is what ultimately counts.

I really didn't have a lot of notes because I was engrossed in Neal's telling of the story of Esther. He really helped to emphasize God's hand in the events of that time (You can't make this stuff up!) I would strongly encourage you to go listen to it yourself for a fresh hearing of this story. He reminded us that even though God's name is never used in this book (the only book in the Bible in which this is true), you can see him moving throughout the story.

I am really enjoying this series because it is addressing the main excuses we tend to use as to why we can't (or won't) do what God is calling us to do (fear, inadequacy, lack of understanding - the unknown). It has caused me to think about the areas where I don't trust God to fill in my weaknesses or shortcomings. I am being reminded that there is no excuse where God doesn't have a provision waiting for me. The ultimate question is whether I trust that me + God will be able to overcome any obstacle.

Just Say Yes...Part 2

2010-01-13T16:05:00.003-05:00

Below is this past week's message notes. I really enjoyed it and think you would too. You can listen to it here.

Just Say Yes...When You Feel Inadequate

Exodus 3-4 (Moses)
>Moses resisted God's call to use him (he even gave 5 reasons why he was inadequate!)
->3:3 "I must turn aside, and see this marvelous sight, why the bush is not burned up." (NASB)
-->Moses did not HAVE to turn aside; he chose to. We also must choose.

How God are you at turning aside to listen to God? How hard is it for God to get your attention?

1. Who am I? v.11 (I'm nobody. How am I supposed to do what you want me to?)
>God does not look for extraordinary people, just regular people willing to say yes to an extraordinary God.
>v.12 (God's response) "I will be with you"
->Hebrews 11 - common people with great faith
->2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2. Who are you? v.13 (What about your character and intentions?
>v.14 "I am". I AM the God who cares about you.

3. What if they do not believe me or listen to me? 4:1
>God asks Moses to trust him; provides miraculous signs
->God asks us to give him whatever is in our hand (unhindered access to what we DO have).

4. I am slow of speech and tongue. v.10
>v.11 Who gave man his mouth?...Is it not I, the Lord?...I will help you.
->God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
->God has made you perfect for what he wants you to do.

5. Please send someone else to do it. v.13
>God gives him his brother Aaron to help him.
->In community we help one another say yes to God.
->Who is your Aaron, helping you say yes to God? Who are you being an Aaron to?

What happened to the burning bush? Scripture doesn't say. Perhaps it's still burning, inviting us to turn aside and answer God's call.

The cross of Christ has made our insecurities irrelevant.

This was such a good message. We are all guilty of making excuses as to why we cannot do what God has asked us to do. It may be as simple as "It's too hard". I know I can be like Moses and just not want to (Please send someone else). But there's a reason God has asked ME to do this thing. There is something he wants to teach me or bless me with. I don't want to miss out on gaining intimacy with and knowledge of God. I need to stay connected so that I will have eyes to see and a heart willing to turn aside.

Is there anything in your life that you know God wants you to do but you keep making excuses? Perhaps you should ask God to answer your insecurities like he did Moses'. Of course, if you do this, you may feel really silly when you realize how small you've made God out to be. He can do ANYTHING with ANYONE!

Just Say Yes...Part 1

2010-01-13T15:37:00.003-05:00

It's January and we have a new message series to help us start the year off right. I will try to be diligent in posting notes about each week. Enjoy!

Just Say Yes...When You Don't Understand

Genesis 12-22 (Abraham)

Pray this week: "Lord, help me to say 'yes' to you today."

Abraham's story tells us four things:

1. There's always a Promise
>God tells Abraham to leave everything he's known for an unspecified destination.
->People who say 'yes' to God hold things loosely (plans, possessions)
-->Is there anything you are holding on to that keeps you from fully responding to God?
>Abraham lived for another world.
>When God makes a promise, he ALWAYS delivers.
->It's one thing to believe IN God; it's another to BELIEVE God.
-->Doubt does not diminish one's faith.

2. There's always a Test (ch 22)

3. There's always a Choice
>Will you continue to trust God even when you don't understand?
->"Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." Philip Yancey
>22:5 WE will worship and then WE will come back to you.
->Hebrews 11:19 - Abraham reasons that God could revive the dead (having never seen or heard an instance of God actually doing so!)

4. There's always a Provision
>"God is seldom early, but he's never late."
->Don't miss out on God's best/blessings for your life just because they aren't package din the way you want or expect.

I really enjoyed this message. It was good to be reminded that we have a God we can trust. This is a needed reminder because often we are asked to do things without knowing how it will all play out. God has a plan and we can trust him to come through and provide what is needed to accomplish his plan. Our job is to be willing to be part of God's plan.

Is there anything that I am holding on to that keeps me from being useful? I'm sure I am more concerned with "stuff" than I need to be. I definitely put a lot of hope/stock into spending a long part of my life with my husband. Not that God would ask me to let go of him, but he knows how much time we have together and it would be a big shock to suddenly be without him. I know it seems weird that I'm thinking about that, but I guess that's what happens when there's a new life on the horizon. I can't imagine having to raise a child on my own. I digress...I hope that I am not grasping onto things that aren't important at the detriment of being useful to God. I pray that if there is something, God would help me to see it and let go.

Reflect the Light

2010-01-13T15:07:00.003-05:00

In December, our message series was "Light." I am just now getting around to December 20th's notes. I wasn't around for the 27th, but it seems like it might be good to listen to it to have all of the messages on here. So keep your eyes open for the fourth Light message. In the meantime, here are my notes from week three.

Philippians 2:5-7 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
>the Incarnation

Luke 2:6-7 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
>birth event
>Max Lucado quote about birth story

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
>the application of the Incarnation
->Put Others First
*In our culture, we are taught to fight for our rights and look out for ourselves. If we are this way with our own family, how much more so with strangers/neighbors/etc?

Philippians 2:14-16 Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
>Do EVERYTHING Without Complaining.
->We like to complain, to point out to God what we are lacking or what's not fair.
->Joseph didn't complain; Mary didn't complain; Jesus didn't complain

The light did not just come into the world, the message was handed off to us to reflect to the world.

Challenge: Instead of being drawn into the darkness, would you reflect God's light?
>Instead of fear and anxiety, will you choose peace? Instead of a critical spirit, compassion? Instead of impatience, kindness?

Philippians 2:10-11
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

I really enjoyed Jeff talking about exchanging negative emotions for positive, life giving ones. I wasn't able to write fast enough to get all of them, but I know they're all on the podcast. It was a good reminder to hear that none of the members of the family were given the best circumstances - Joseph a pregnant fiance, Mary an unplanned child, Jesus life on earth as a human - but they accepted God's will for them and chose to trust him with the outcome. How are we to know whether our difficult circumstances might hold an unseen blessing? God is faithful and can be trusted.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-13T14:52:00.003-05:00

Obviously I am way behind on posting. I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I was on here. I guess that's what happens around the holidays. I will do my best to catch up on past sermon messages soon. In the meantime, I'll do a little updating.

As you may know, I've been participating in a women's Bible study with two other ladies in the neighborhood. We have all really been enjoying the study. I am surprised by how much I do like it. I was a little wary before we started. We have three meetings left with this study and will have to decide if we want to start a new study. If we do, it would be a great opportunity to invite others to join the group. I would certainly share the group's existence with a few ladies I know in the neighborhood. We will see.

Our last meeting before Christmas, we talked about trying to find a way to serve our neighborhood. I suggested seeing if we could help a Welcoming Committee get started again. It appears that there used to be one but I haven't seen any glimpses of one in the three years I've been here. The other ladies thought that would be the best thing to look into right now as it is too cold to do any sort of clean up/yard work. I'm trying to get some information from the board and will hopefully have something to report to the ladies at our next meeting.

I was telling my husband about what we are thinking about doing. He reminded me that I have been working on a community newcomer book with my job at church that could be useful to those new to our neighborhood. I love how he thinks of these things! It's definitely a great idea and would save some leg work if we do get something started.

I'm actually excited about getting more involved with those around me and hope that everything works out. Even with a baby on the way, this project is something that wouldn't require too much work or time. I will try to remember to keep everyone updated on what happens.

Is there anything exciting for you as a new year gets into gear?

Too unimportant for God?

2009-12-15T13:56:00.004-05:00

At my last Bible study meeting, there was a discussion about feeling like some things are too unimportant to bother God with. Some people wonder why they should even bother God about their to do list or routine activities. Why would God care about cleaning the house or grocery shopping? Surely he has better things to do than to help me remember to pick everything up that is needed for dinner tonight. House chores are too mundane to warrant God's interest or power.

I definitely feel that way at times. Why bother God with cleaning the bathrooms? Perhaps it could change my sense of dread to one of encouraging connection with God, but it seems silly that God would want to join me as I clean the sinks. Could all of the humdrum housework that I loathe at times actually obtain some flecks of pleasantness if I invited God to help change my attitude? I don't know. Am I afraid that he won't show up so why bother asking?

And if these things are too small for God, then at what point is something large or important enough for God to make an appearance? A fussy child? A work review? A fight with a friend? A shortage of finances to pay the bills? What is the tipping point from the obscure to important?

And, if things can be too small for God, can they also be too big? Is cancer something that God just can't handle? Might I send up a small prayer about my ill friend but then not expect God to do something?

We definitely tend to live this way at times. It's certainly human nature to try and handle things on our own, especially those "small" things. But why do we really do it? Do we want to feel like we have a sense of control? Is that why big things like illness, where we can't possibly do anything to help, are when we usually seek God? We think that if we ought to be able to handle it, then we should? Or do we not trust God enough? Are we afraid that we'll offer up our small need and he'll bat it away as unimportant to him? Are we worried that he won't come through when we need him to? Do we have such small faith that we don't know that we can really trust him with any are of our lives? And what about when we do pray about a sick family member and, instead of a miraculous healing, they die? Does that mean that God didn't hear us? That he didn't care? Or perhaps that's when we are supposed to trust that God's ways are higher than ours and his understanding is greater than ours? Are we to trust that God truly does desire good things for us and has a hope and a future for us (that may be different from the one we've imagined)?

We sometimes think that God should be reliable like a math equation. If we pray this way (A), then this (B) will happen. We don't like having to trust that whatever is best will happen, especially if it's not what we want. Who says that getting that promotion will be better for my family than not? Who says that the added salary and accompanying responsibilities won't take away from spending time with them and investing in my children? Who says that temporary hardships won't lead to lasting joy?

What about you: Are there things in your life that are too small or too big for God?

Ephesians 1 (Confidence in God's love)

2009-12-15T13:36:00.004-05:00

In this week's study of The Frazzled Female, we were invited to read Ephesians 1 (below).

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,

To the saints in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus:

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment - to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession - to the praise of his glory.

For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

That's a lot of reading, but I was so encouraged to hear these truths and to have them penetrate my being. I was reminded that I am God's child, an heir with Christ, "according to his pleasure and will". I have been redeemed, my sins have been forgiven, and I have been given wisdom from God. I have been marked with a seal that guarantees my inheritance. I needed to be reminded of God's love for me and his pleasure in me. He did and does many things because he loves me. I can trust him and count on him to come through for me. He is on my side and desires to be active in my life.

After reading the chapter, I couldn't help but praise God and give thanks for all of my blessings and for his provisions for me. I poured out my heart to him in prayer and thanksgiving, confident that he wanted to hear it all and has an interest in me and my life.

When you read Ephesians 1, how do you feel and respond?

The Frazzled Female

2009-12-15T13:27:00.004-05:00

I have joined a women's Bible study that a woman in my neighborhood has started. There are just three of us, but I am excited about getting to know the two other women. We all live on the same side of the neighborhood. I don't know that I would have met them had we not all decided to be a part of this group. I have met a lot of people through playing tennis, but I am always interested in getting to know more!

We have started going through a study called The Frazzled Female. I wasn't really sure what I was going to think of the book. Then I started reading the first section. It was all about thinking about God throughout the day and inviting him to be a part of everything I do. I almost laughed out loud because I had just been challenged through church and the Soul Revolution study to find ways to continue to remember God's presence. Here I was given the opportunity to continue to learn about ways to do just that. I am very convinced that it was an affirmation from God that I was doing what he wants me to do. I am continuing to try to grow in my relationship with him and, at the same time, connecting to people around me in my community.

Give the Light

2009-12-15T13:19:00.003-05:00

Sunday was week two of the Light series at church. Neal spoke this week. Below are my notes. Feel free to hear the whole thing at our website.

Givealight.org - organization in Chad (21st largest country in world, 5th poorest)
>Not much electricity so group is trying to get lights to families so that kids can study at night and hopefully this will help people and families to get out of poverty.
>Bogolight - flashlight that is charged with solar energy
>Slogan: "A light that will never go out."

Luke 2:8-20
>The shepherds had a choice to make after the angels left - go ahead and find the baby or stay on the hill where they were.
>Not only did they go, but they then told others what they had seen and heard.

We can give the light through our motives, mission, and message.
>To whom am I giving the light? What are my 3 Ms?

Matthew 19:30
>Story about shepherds in India

God can do big stuff if we are willing to give the light. How often do we receive the light (in messages, small groups, worship)? How often do we then give the light?

I really enjoyed this message and the reminder that we are to share what we learn and know of God. God is not just for me. He is for the world and wants the world to know him. I am not benefiting anyone by keeping what I know to myself. It seems really silly to be afraid of what others may think. I have seen God work in my life and know that he cares about each one of us. Why wouldn't I want to encourage others to invite God into their lives to work in them as well?

60-60 Conclusion

2009-12-15T13:11:00.002-05:00

Well, the 60-60 experiment officially ended on December 11th. Of course, we were challenged not to actually end the experiment and stop trying to draw closer to God throughout the day. We were just freed from the beeps/alarms if we so choose. I am super excited that I don't have to wear my sports watch every day. It certainly wasn't the best fashion statement, but God didn't care and, really, neither did I.

So now what? I definitely enjoyed the challenge of trying to spend more time throughout the day with God and being shown just how short I fall on most days. I don't want to return to morning and night only like I had tended to do previously. It would be awesome to be conscious of God hourly (or even more frequently). The rub is that it is hard to develop that habit and sometimes I struggle with wanting to put forth such effort. However, I am continuing to learn that all of my efforts will always fall short. I need to be asking God to help remind me of his presence and to seek him in all things.

I do want (and need) to put practices in place that will help me to think of God more often. I have thought about using my cell phone screen to post a banner or picture that reminds me of God. Perhaps little post it notes on the bathroom mirror or in my car. I remember once a while ago thinking that it would be awesome to have a watch that said "Pray" on the face. I still think that would be great, but have not found one. Perhaps if it's possible to engrave watch faces, that would work. Or, of course, I could always purchase and engrave a pocket watch, but that's not as practical.

Anyway, I am glad that I participated in the experiment and hope that I will continue to grow in this area. If you participated, what did you get out of it? If you haven't, do you think this is something you might enjoy trying?

Shine the Light

2009-12-09T15:47:00.002-05:00

We've started a new series called Light for the Christmas holiday. Below are my notes from the message on Sunday. You can listen to it here.

John 1:9 - The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

John 8:12 - When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

In Medieval times, during the Christmas season, Christ followers would light a candle and place it in a prominent place (such as a window) to remind them that the light of the world (Jesus) has come.

Isaiah 9:1a,2 - Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress...The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

John 1:4-5 - In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

John 3:19 - Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

It is easy to make decisions for others; much harder for oneself. When it's your struggle/temptation/decision, you can feel the pull of the darkness.

People doing things in darkness don't want the light shining on them.

As Christ followers, we are supposed to shine the light into the world.

Matthew 5:14-16 - "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Challenge: Think of ways you can shine the light of Jesus this Christmas season.

Grace Received

2009-11-30T16:22:00.002-05:00

Yesterday at church I was discouraged and annoyed at myself that I really slacked off on quiet time with God during the previous week when we were on vacation. I know that I really struggle with maintaining an established time when my routine changes, but it's not an excuse. Before communion, I was thinking about this and repenting for my lack of discipline. I hate that this happens so often and yet I am not sure how to change it. I know that God would be just fine with a few minutes here and there throughout the day and yet I can't even manage to do that some days. I feel like I am a slave to the first thing in the morning quiet time of prayer and reading. I act like if I can't do that, then I shouldn't do anything.

I was still thinking about this after communion when we were singing a song I hadn't heard before. The lyrics said something about having regrets followed by the chorus of "O how you love me". I so needed the reminder of God's grace and unfailing love at that moment and that's what I got. I was overwhelmed by the truth that God loves me despite my behavior. Nothing I do or fail to do will change how he feels about me! Sometimes I forget my need for grace, but I was quite appreciative of the reminder and the ability to receive it yesterday. Praise God for his endless supply!

Do you ever forget about your need for grace? Have you been blessed by God's faithfulness lately?

Life All-In With God

2009-11-30T16:12:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was the last message of our Soul Revolution series. I missed the week before due to traveling, but you and I can both listen to it, as well as yesterday's message, here. Below are my notes from yesterday.

Soul Revolution Week 8 (so there were only 8 weeks after all)

December 11th: 60th day of the 60-60 experiment

How does an experiment like this end? God's desire is that it won't.

It's a matter of acquiring a new habit of thought. - Frank Laubach

We need to establish our own God reminders: in the car, bathroom mirror, cell phone, keys, fridge, laptop, etc.

Philippians 1:6 "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it on the day of Christ Jesus.
>He: God is in charge and in control
>who began: we are a work in progress; change to our hearts comes slow
>a good work: all that God does is good; Habakkuk 3:2
>in you: he has plans of good specifically for you
>will be faithful to complete it: God will not give up on us
>on the day of Christ Jesus: God's work in us will be completed only when Christ returns.
~Our gain did not begin the day we were born and will not end the day we die.

Therefore, we should not give up on our attempts to draw closer to God.

God's focus is not on good starts, but on complete games.

I really enjoyed the reminder that just because the experiment is almost over, does not mean we ought to revert to our old way of living where we think about God maybe once per day. I like that Jeff acknowledged that we may need to use something other than beeps and alarms to continue to cultivate this mindset. I have found that as the weeks continue, there are multiple times per day when I don't hear my watch beep. Obviously, I am becoming used to it and it's effectiveness is waning. I thought about other things I might do to remember to focus on God. Perhaps put a banner on my cell phone reminding me that God is with me - something to see whenever I look at my phone. Perhaps put a note in the car prompting me to pray each time I head out to somewhere. There are many things that can be done that will prevent me from a pray once and done mentality. I know that it is hard, but most worthwhile things are challenging. Habits are developed through repetition. If this is something that I really want, I have to be willing to put in the necessary work.

What about you? How do you remember to draw near to God?

60-60 Post 5

2009-11-18T09:05:00.004-05:00

On Sunday evening we had our small group. We talked about the chapters we had read along with how the 60-60 experiment was going. It has definitely been harder to be diligent about focusing each hour on God as the experiment has progressed. I know that I don't want to go back to not thinking about God once the 6o days are up, but I can definitely see that as a possibility unless I improve my focus now while I'm in it.

We talked about focusing on one area in our lives where we would like to improve. We talked about putting intentional practices in place to help us grow in this particular area. The area that I said I wanted to get better at was thinking of others. I do notice that I tend to spend a lot of time on what I want. I really do want to get better at thinking about how I can help others and in considering others' interests when making decisions about using my time and energy. I, obviously, can pray to be more sensitive to the needs of others and to have eyes open to see opportunities to help others. I also thought about memorizing scripture that pertains to being others-focused (Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others - Philippians 2:4).

This week's 60-60 challenge was quite pertinent. Chapter 14's challenge is to "pay special attention to how [God] wants to use you to meet spiritual and physical needs around you." We are to ask God to see the people we interact with through his eyes, write down the names of four people who seem far from God or disconnected from community and pray for them, and take risks by reaching out to those around us. Definitely all others-related.

I'm glad I am blogging about this because I had already forgotten about the "four people" part. I will be sure to spend some time thinking about others and praying specifically for four.

Related to this, I was talking with a woman on Sunday at church and she said that she was having a difficult time presently. I told her to give me a call (because there wasn't time nor place right then to have a private discussion) to talk about it. Yesterday I was reading Chapter 14 in Soul Revolution and it was talking about getting involved with others' lives even if you aren't sure what you are supposed to do. Pray for guidance and then act. After reading this part, I was reminded of the woman. I know that she usually leaves work on her lunch break so I thought it might be a good opportunity to meet her during her break to talk with her about what is going on in her life (as I don't work on Tuesdays). It was 11:30 a.m. when I had this thought so I called her and ended up leaving a message on her answering machine. I decided to wait around until about 12:30 to see if she would call back and accept my offer. I didn't hear back from her, but she did call in the evening and we had a chance to talk for a bit. I was grateful for the opportunity to step out in faith even though it seemed like it might be an inconvenience to my regularly scheduled program (my plans). God wants my obedience, which sometimes means sacrificing time, energy, etc. I didn't have to at this time, but I think he was proud of my willingness.

Developing a Spiritual Workout

2009-11-18T08:52:00.003-05:00

I was in the nursery on Sunday, but I listened to the message yesterday. Jeff talked about how there are certain spiritual practices we should all develop, such as prayer, Bible reading, and meditation. However, the way in which we do these can be different and should correspond to how we best relate to God.

Gary Thomas wrote a book called Sacred Pathways that talks about nine different pathways in which a person may best relate to God. They are the Naturalist (draws near to God through nature), the Sensate (draws near to God through the senses), the Traditionalist (draws near to God through ritual and symbol), the Ascetic (draws near to God through solitude and simplicity), the Activist (draws near to God through bringing about social change), the Caregiver (draws near to God through caring for and serving others), the Enthusiast (draws near to God through celebration and mystery), the Contemplative (draws near to God through personal adoration and heartfelt devotion), and the Intellectual (draws near to God through his/her mind). North Point has the survey online where you can answer 45 questions to find out which is your strongest pathway.

I took the survey and found that I am pretty evenly Contemplative and Intellectual. It definitely makes sense to me. I like to read and journal. I would be interested to learn more about these particular pathways (the Intellectual in me). Jeff had mentioned trying to hold a two hour class to go more in depth on the pathways but I don't know if/when that will happen.

I did like the reminder that we all worship best in different ways. It's okay that I don't raise my hands and dance when we sing. And it's okay that others do. My focus tends to be on the words I am singing.

I would be interested to know what pathway you found to be your strongest when you took the survey. Feel free to post your answer in the comments section.

Spiritual Inventory

2009-11-12T11:27:00.003-05:00

Like I mentioned in the last post, one of the challenges from this last week/end was to take a full spiritual inventory. We were then encouraged to share it with a Spiritual Running Partner (aka accountability partner). Jill and I had both shared and confessed to one another when we first became accountability partners but that was a while ago and we both thought it would be good to go through the inventory to determine whether there was anything we may have inadvertently neglected to share.

Tuesday morning I sat down with my Soul Revolution book to go through the inventory. It asked me to write down five different headings under which I would write down whatever came to mind that needed to be confessed and forgiven (I figured I'd list everything including the things that had previously been confessed to be thorough).

The first heading was RESENTMENTS. Anything that I felt resentment toward - people, institutions, ideas - I was to list. It was an eclectic little list but not all that long. I guess that means I tend to do a decent job of forgiving others (my perception, could be inaccurate).

The second heading was FEARS. This was to include any childhood fears along with an explanation of why I am afraid. It also was relatively short but there was sort of an underlying theme of fear of rejection and/or humiliation. Interesting observation.

The third list was MORAL BEHAVIORS. This is anything that was against God's will - lying, cheating, sexual impurity, greed, revenge, etc (check out Galatians 5:19-21 for additional items that could be included). This list ended up being the longest along with the one about which I felt the most shame. Talking with Jill, these are the things that society tends to condemn the most. Fear (not trusting God), resentment (unwillingness to forgive), pride, selfishness, etc - none of those are really seen as sinful in our culture. "Getting what's yours" (selfishness) is definitely seen as acceptable behavior.

The fourth list was PRIDE AND SELFISHNESS. We were to think about where these two issues have hurt others or separated us from God - acted unloving or hypocritical. I know that selfishness is a definite struggle as is pride. It's really hard not to struggle in a "me first" culture. This is one area I definitely want to grow in and am willing to admit that I fall short of "loving others as yourself".

The fifth list was RELATIONAL/EMOTIONAL STRUGGLES. When writing down people's names, we were to write down the feelings associated with their name (fear, anger, shame, guilt, envy, etc). This list was surprisingly short yet brought up the most emotions when discussing it with Jill. I guess because I do value relationships and don't want there to be any issues.

Looking over the list, I was reminded of when I was younger and had a "holier-than-thou" attitude. Sure I had lied and cheated, but I had not committed any sexual transgressions or participated in illegal activities (drinking or drugs) so I was a-okay in my mind. Definitely a Pharisee-in-training. I was able to justify any sin as "not as bad" as some others that I could have committed. I had my own sin rating system (which, unfortunately for me, God does not have or endorse). Praise the Lord for helping me to see myself as I truly was - a sinner like everyone else in desperate need of a Savior! Now, seeing everything that I could think of written out has reinforced my need for grace. It was a very humbling experience that really helped me to see myself as I am and how much I need God in my life. I am thankful that some of the items on the list are no longer struggles. I also see how much I need to grow and know that, if I stay connected to God, he can change me in these areas.

Having seen what you are supposed to write and then share with another person, I'm sure you can understand how difficult this can be. It requires extreme vulnerability. Even knowing that Jill already knew most of this, it is still hard to place yourself in a position to be rejected, judged, or condemned. We have established a strong enough relationship that we knew neither would do that to the other. Still, it wasn't easy to share. Knowing that we were both confessing was beneficial because both were required to be vulnerable. And it was a great opportunity to demonstrate acceptance and love to one another.

The best part about our sharing, was the conversation about which parts were hardest to share, where we wanted to change and the prayer at the end. I love praying with Jill! It is so encouraging to hear someone pray for you and to be able to pray for another person. I was so refreshed afterward. Yes, we both left with a "things to do" list but it helps knowing that she supports me and it definitely challenges me to do what is needed because I know she will follow up to see how I'm doing.

Do you have someone with whom you can be completely honest? If so, isn't it freeing to be able to just be and not have to put up a front? If not, would you like to have someone like this? Pray that God would bring that someone into your life. He is faithful!

How People Change

2009-11-12T11:15:00.005-05:00

Adam and I were out of town for this past week's Soul Revolution. However, I was getting together with my accountability partner/friend Jill on Tuesday and she wanted us to share our Spiritual Inventories (which was a part of Sunday's message) so I decided I had better listen to the message before we got together. (I also needed to do the inventory so I had a busy Tuesday morning). So I listened to it and took some notes that I will share with you. Feel free to listen to it yourself here.

Soul Revolution Week 5

Spiritual Inventory
>Am I living as if my sins are the main event rather than God's work and grace on my sins?
>Am I allowing my sins to label me?

This reminded me of a Stuff Christians Like post I had just read on Monday about focusing on our failures rather than our successes (I was doing catch up there as well). I recommend you check it out.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

1 Timothy 4:8 - spiritual workout
>Put spiritual practices in place so that when trials come, we will turn to God rather than responding with our old habits. (Spiritual practice info in next week's message which I will also miss due to being in the nursery but you will be able to find it at the church's website where this week's message is linked).
>Work out in community.
>We can have a greater impact as a group than as individuals.
>Spiritual growth is not a solo sport.

I did enjoy the message. Especially how it related so well to the SCL post the previous day. I definitely liked Jon Acuff's point that it is "NO CONDEMNATION" rather than "SOME or A LITTLE CONDEMNATION" that we sometimes tend to believe. Romans 8:1 is a verse that needs to be written on my heart.

If you are wondering what exactly the Spiritual Inventory is, check out the post after this for more information along with my experience with it.

60-60 Post 4

2009-11-11T13:16:00.002-05:00

As I stated in my last post, I was out of town last week. Now, I suppose that really shouldn't affect the 60-60 experiment. But it did for me. See, I'm a routine person. When I get out of my daily schedule I struggle a lot with maintaining a quiet time and being purposeful about spending time with God.

Why does a new environment disrupt my usual fastidiousness? I think it has to do with what I perceive to be unwritten expectations. When I'm visiting someone, or someone is visiting me, I find it hard to justify hiding myself away for half an hour, especially when I'm the last one up in the morning. I feel like everyone is waiting on me so I shouldn't dawdle. Having or being company tends to mean squeezing in as much as possible into the few days we are seeing each other which also shuts the door on "me time".

Now, I know that God is present at all times (hence the 60-60 reminders) and that even short times of connection can be beneficial. I just really prefer that time of solitude. I'm an introvert so I have trouble focusing when there are other distractions. I can focus when I'm driving alone in the car, but if there's someone else with me, they usually want to talk or listen to the radio.

I did hear the beeps and did think of God's presence throughout the week. I admired the beauty of fall and the rolling landscape of the Shenandoah Valley. I just don't feel like there was anything that really stuck out. Probably the most interesting thing of the week was helping Adam's grandmother list her old couch on Craigslist. I took a picture and posted an ad on Wednesday. Someone contacted her on Thursday, stopped by on Friday, looked at it, purchased it and took it with her that evening. That's some fast response! I did not think that it would be such a quick sell.

So that was last week. How is everyone else doing?

What's Wrong With These People?

2009-11-11T13:05:00.002-05:00

I apologize for the delay in new posts. I was out of town last week without regular access to a computer. So I will try to make up for it this week by giving updates on Soul Revolution.

On November 1, Neal shared with us a situation from his life that involved conflict in relationships and dealing with it. My notes do not talk about what he shared, just his closing comments. You are welcome to hear the whole message here.

Soul Revolution Message week 4:

Luke 23:34a "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
>What if we could pray this for those who have hurt us?

It's not just "them". It's me too. I also have sinned and need forgiveness. We are all broken and messy because of sin. Jesus was broken to put us back together again!

Lessons Learned:
>Don't avoid the situation.
>Follow the Matthew 18:15-17 way of handling conflict.
>I may not be able to change the situation, but I know that I can change how I handle/deal with it.

We are wounded wounders but God is calling us to become wounded healers (John Burke).

Is there anyone in your life that you need to forgive or that you need forgiveness from?

60-60 Post 3

2009-10-30T16:24:00.002-04:00

Well, this week has been a bit better than last week with being faithful to recognize the beeps. I am trying to make sure I am following through with the prodding to call or email people. I really do want to be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit. I have seen God bless me through my obedience.

In our Running Partners group on Sunday, one of the questions we ask is how we can encourage one another throughout the week. I said that I would benefit from being held accountable to actually taking time with God when I heard my watch beep rather than hearing the beep and continuing on with whatever I was doing. On Monday, one of the women called me to see how I was doing that day. I was very encouraged that she cared enough to follow up with me. I am really enjoying our women's Running Partner meetings.

Yesterday was a really good day. I had to wait on some guys to come finish our floors which gave me plenty of time for reading, prayer, and connecting with others. I called my friend Jill as she was on a road trip up to Kentucky. We had such an awesome and encouraging conversation. I shared with her that sometimes I would sort of feel like I can't communicate with God until my watch beeps, but that's silly and somewhat legalistic. The whole purpose of this exercise is to spend more time with God throughout the day. He's perfectly fine with hearing from me at the top of the hour, fifteen minutes after the hour, thirty minutes after the hour, etc (or at all of those times). The point is that I am supposed to be seeking God for all things at all times in all areas of my life. So I was sort of excited that I was seeking God at random times and not just those that are already scheduled.

So that's a bit of how this week has gone. I feel like I've done better at trying to reach out to people in the ways I am being led to do so. I know that I have missed some opportunities, but I know that God values relationships so I want to work harder at connecting whenever the opportunity arises.

If you're doing the 60-60, how has your week been? Feel like you're floundering or making progress?

Moving Toward Others

2009-10-26T11:30:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was our church's fifth anniversary! It was a lot of fun looking back over the past few years and considering what the future may hold. I really appreciated Jeff's zeal and excitement about the doors that have been opening and the possibilities of what the future may hold. I definitely want to be a part of where our church goes from here!

Below are my notes from week three's Soul Revolution message series.

Matthew 22:36-40
-Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is. He responds by giving two, indicating that they are inextricably linked together: love God, love other people.

Our relationship with God can be measured by how our relationships with others are going (their health).

God loves people; therefore we are to love people (love what God loves).

Our conviction (wanting to love and serve others) does not always match our practice (how we actually relate to other people).

John 6:1-13 - limited supply (5000 hungry people, 5 loaves and 2 fish)

A limited supply (our abilities, time, money, possessions, shortcomings) in the hands of an unlimited God can yield amazing results.

It's amazing that people can be both very selfish and very generous.

Perhaps the boy with the food realized that this was his opportunity to love/serve others with what he had.

What if we gave our limited resources to God to use to love those around us? We can love people in rich and meaningful ways with what God has given us.

Help people fall in love with Jesus by being Jesus to people.

"MY CHANCE" : When an opportunity arises to use what God's given you to help others, instead of saying "mine" why not try saying "this is my chance"?

I really liked the call to be generous with what we have. To not limit God by what we may see as an impossibility. What if God wants to show his immense power through our puny resources, but we are too scared to see what he will do? In line with the 60-60 experiment, when we are reminded to ask what God's will for us is in this moment, perhaps we should consider what we have to offer and ask God to use us and use it. Who knows what God wants to do through us? We won't know unless we ask and then respond.

Is there anything God is calling you to do that you are hesitant about, perhaps because you are concerned that you aren't enough, don't have enough, or that God isn't enough?

A New Way to Live Together

2009-10-24T11:18:00.002-04:00

Today I was reading chapter seven in Soul Revolution (by John Burke). It's all about relating to others. It was such a good chapter. I really needed to be reminded of what community should look like. It describes the type of community I want to experience. I want to share some excerpts from the chapter.

God wants to lead you into a freedom to fully be you - who he created you to be - free to respond to him and better love those closest to you. p.105

It will mean overcoming our fears - fears of trusting, fears of rejection, fears of being let down or hurt. p.106

God wants a community of people who tangibly show his grace to one another - who demonstrate his acceptance and who draw near to each other without condemnation. p.107

Grace allows people to come out of hiding, to be authentic, to stop concealing their wounds or pretending it's all good! p.109

At our church, we say "No Perfect People Allowed." We tell people, "If you want to pretend you have no struggles, no problems, no sins, no wounds, then go play that game somewhere else, because that's not real. But if we can agree to be authentic with our struggles, doubts, and temptations, then we can actually walk together, pray for each other, and help each other grow." p.110

Healing almost always comes through community. It's God's plan. Spirituality is relational! p.112

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16

God ants to lead us to be a healing community as simple, ordinary people learn to accept, forgive, encourage, and walk with each other no matter how ugly or messy it gets. p.113

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another. Hebrews 10:24-25

60-60 Post 2

2009-10-24T11:02:00.004-04:00

I don't feel like this week has been as good as the first week as far as being aware of God's presence and seeking his will moment by moment. I have missed a number of beeps - hearing them but allowing them to pass without any sort of pause or thought. I don't feel like I have received much direction or prompting, but perhaps I haven't really been seeking it either. I feel like I've pretty much sucked this week.

I knew that this challenge was going to be difficult. I didn't think it'd only take a week to fall back into normal patterns. It is somewhat discouraging. However, I will not give up. I will try to pause at each beep to see whether I am honoring God or seeking his guidance or if I'm simply doing my own thing without thought for what he may desire for me.

I think that it helps that the desire is there. I just need action to follow. I mean, I loved all of the encouragement I received last week through the experiment. I want more of that so hopefully that will help me to be more actively engaged when the beeps come.

I tried twice to sit quietly (be still) and invite God to speak. Usually it ended with me thinking about what needed to be done that day. That is still a work in progress. I should continue to try though, because only through practice do I have any hope of successfully quieting my mind to a state where I can clearly receive a word from God. Is anyone good at doing this? I'm always open to pointers and suggestions.

One cool thing from the second half of last week. On Friday, a married couple was brought to my mind. I have had more interaction with the woman and had prayed previously for a potential endeavor they were considering. I hadn't heard anything in a while. Sunday morning, I saw a woman who is good friends with the couple and asked her if anything had happened in that regard. She informed me that it was not going to happen because it looked like the couple was going to be getting a divorce. That was quite a surprise, and apparently a development only occurring last week. I let my friend know that I would be praying for them. I know that that was a God prompting. What are the odds of a random thought about people I don't know very well who are going through a difficult time right now? Definitely a "God coincidence." I'm not really sure what exactly I should be praying, but I know that God knows what is needed. All I know is that I'm supposed to be praying over this situation.

I have been trying to respond to thoughts to call or write people. They don't seem like very big things, but I know that God knows what others need and can use anything for his purposes. So we will see what happens this coming week with the 60-60 experiment. If you are going through it (or have gone through it), I'd love to hear about your experiences!

BUG Book

2009-10-20T11:51:00.002-04:00

I believe I've mentioned on here before that I am working on writing a book for Christian girls preparing for college. Well, I finished the first draft at the end of July and handed out a few copies to some trusted people to read and make comments the beginning of August. That was a scary step because it required me to be vulnerable to others and allow them to critique my writing style and ideas. But I knew it was necessary. It was probably also good to let people who know me see it first so that I can get used to the feedback before giving it to random people who will probably be more harsh with their comments. Plus I want it to be well developed before potential publishers see it.

It is now the middle of October. I have received a couple of manuscripts back with notes. There are still a couple floating out there, which is fine. However, I have done absolutely nothing with the notes since receiving them. I did read through the first edited manuscript to see what kind of feedback there was. It was much more encouraging than I had expected (why I expected harshness, I have no idea). But they've just sat in the closet not being properly used. I have had people ask how the book is going and have honestly answered that I've been lazy and done nothing with them. In slight defense, I was dealing with my first trimester of pregnancy which makes one less than ambitious.

You would think that the accountability of people knowing and asking would motivate me, but it really didn't. I was okay with being honest about my laziness and not doing anything about it. I was sort of proud that I was at least honest. But, at the Catalyst Conference, the question was raised by someone speaking whether there was something God had called us to do that we weren't doing. I immediately thought about the book. God placed the idea and desire in me and I do need to be obedient and see it to completion. I don't know what is going to happen with it, but I need to do my part. And then Sunday's message was about needing to be obedient to God's promptings if we want to continue to hear him.

I finally got the message. I need to put aside any of my handy excuses for not working on the book (I'm lazy, the editing part is soooooo boring, I don't have all of my copies back) and just do it. So I decided to go back to the reasoning I used when working on the first draft when the writing became tedious. "Just sit down for 15 minutes and work on it. When it's done, you can go do other things." In the past, fifteen minutes sometimes was just that. But many times it turned in to an hour or more.

This morning I decided that it would be the first task I worked on for the day. To my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it to be. I know some later parts will be more challenging than today's editing process, but fifteen minutes is a manageable chunk of time. I think I had allowed Satan to build it up in my mind as this completely boring and painful chore, which kept me from action. Now that I've taken that first step, I think the next one will be easier. Praise God who frees us from fear and does not allow us to drown in condemnation, shame or guilt!

Finding Ears to Hear

2009-10-20T11:22:00.002-04:00

This past week was our second Soul Revolution message (quick note - there are only 8 weeks of messages instead of the 9 I mentioned last week. My bad.). Below are my notes. I REALLY would encourage you to listen to the message if you ever struggle with wanting to know God's will for your life and feeling like you don't hear him "speak" in your life.

Reminder: 60-60 experiment - It's not about perfection, it's about progress.

We don't just talk to God, we also need to listen to his voice.

1 Samuel 3 (v1: was God really not speaking or were the people just not listening?)

There are a number of things that can keep us from hearing God's voice. One of the biggest is sin. If you haven't heard God's "voice" in a long time, you should examine yourself to see if there is anything in your life blocking you from God.

v10: "Speak, [Lord], for your servant is listening."

It is possible for God to speak to us and us not realize it's him.

How God Speaks: through Scripture/the Bible, other people, circumstances, the Holy Spirit

1 Corinthians 2:10-12 - the Holy Spirit helps us to know the will of God

Things to Consider:
1. The promptings of God will never be contradictory to scripture.
2. The promptings of the Holy Spirit are always in line with the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).
3. The promptings of the Holy Spirit are generally in line with the gifts of the Spirit.

We have to get still to better hear God's voice (schedule times of stillness).
>Do you ever get rid of distractions and formally invite God to speak to you?
>Psalm 46:10 - "Be still, and know that I am God."

We need to respond with obedience when we hear God's voice if we want to continue to hear him.
>Sometimes it's not that we don't hear God, but that we don't like what he's saying so we ignore him.
John 14:20-21

The more you respond in obedience, the more you will hear God's voice; and the more you put God off, the harder it will be to hear him.

This was such a good message! I was excited when Jeff opened with asking about desiring to hear God's voice more. Because I definitely do. I know that responding will draw me closer to God and help me to live in line with his will. From time to time, I will feel the leading to write to someone or do something little like that. Often I follow through and sometimes I even receive positive feedback. Other times I don't hear anything so I don't know what was the result of my efforts. Still other times I don't respond and usually end up realizing it was a missed opportunity. As of late, I am really desiring to follow what I think are the leadings of the Holy Spirit. I know I am still missing some promptings, but hopefully I am improving in my level of response. What I want to continue to do is to have an obedient and responsive heart.

I also want to purposefully sit down and spend some time in quiet where I allow God the opportunity to speak. When I pray, I am often in the habit of pouring out my requests for God and then ending the prayer time. Relationships are supposed to be two-sided. I know how frustrating it can be to listen patiently to someone as they share and then not be asked how I'm doing. I don't want to do that to God. It feels like using him, which is not my intent. I do struggle with pushing everything out of my mind in order to listen. I often find my mind wandering to what needs to be done or things I am dealing with. However, I believe that if I sit quietly often enough, then the time will really be valuable and I will be able to hear God.

What about you? Are you good at waiting patiently and allowing God to speak to you? Do you feel like you are obedient to the Holy Spirit's promptings in your life?

60-60 Post 1

2009-10-14T15:08:00.003-04:00

Monday was my first whole day of doing the 60-60 experiment. I purchased a sports watch to have something to beep at me every hour. I do leave it downstairs at night so that I don't get woken up regularly by the beeping. I think God's okay with that. Hopefully the cat is too...

It was interesting to hear the beeps throughout the day. One time I was praying in my car. Another time I was working on a task at the office. One time, and probably the weirdest time to think "God is present with me and wants to help me", I was in the restroom. Now, we know that God can see and hear everything, but to really think about it at that moment is a little awkward. I was hoping that God did a little tasteful blurring like they do on The Sims computer game.

I didn't feel like there was anything profound about reminding myself of God's presence, but it is definitely causing me to think about him more than I usually do, which is part of the point. I don't always hear the beep, but we were told that we were going to fail at times and sometimes were going to be tempted to feel ashamed or embarrassed at our activities when the beep occurs, but that we are to remember that we are forgiven and loved.

Tuesday, I don't recall anything specific or profound, except that many times when I heard the beep, a line from a Chris Tomlin song kept popping into my head: I've seen enough to know that you're my only hope I don't want to go if you're not with me. Which I suppose is an encouraging reminder as well.

Today I have been feeling like I've been noticing things more. Like, something will fall into place or I will be reminded of something important that I've forgotten and shortly thereafter I will hear the beep and will thank God for his help and provision. Normally I don't think twice about having needs met or special little conveniences, but today has been different. I don't know that every day I will be able to see God in my life as much as I seem to be today, but I am thankful for this opportunity to be grateful for the little things.

There are still 56 more days so anything could happen in that time span. I am hoping for more days like this (or, possibly days even better than this!). Who knows what God will do if I am receptive and open?

Speaking of open, I was at the Catalyst Conference last week and one of the slogans was "Are you open?" I do want to write about it, but I have yet to spend time unpacking what I heard and learned so it may be a bit before I can blog intelligently about it. I definitely enjoyed all of the speakers, exhausting as it all was.

I hope that my experience with the 60-60 experiment will be an encouragement to you to maybe try to do something like this yourself. If you are interested, I would really encourage you to listen to this past Sunday's message as Jeff explains more about it. There's a link to it on the previous post. Feel free to leave any thoughts you have!

Soul Revolution

2009-10-14T14:53:00.003-04:00

This Sunday our church began our new series, Soul Revolution. Not only is it a nine week message series, but there is a book that we are reading, a study for small groups AND a running partners option. Running partners is like an accountability group for the Soul Revolution study. As if our lives are not going to be saturated enough with Soul Revolution things, there is a challenge in the book/study/message series called the "60-60 Experiment", which I believe I mentioned in a previous post. Needless to say, if one is fully involved in this experience, there should be some growth/change that occurs in one's life. That's my hope.

I was in the nursery once again this Sunday so I don't have message series notes. I did listen to it on my way home from work today so it is somewhat fresh in my mind. What I got most out of it is that without God in our lives, it is like we are all steering our individual Titanic ship. We are on our own, not heeding advice, and bound to crash at some point. Jeff also talked about how, because we are very aware that, while God created us with some great plans and purpose for us, we are nowhere near living that life. There is a gap between where we are and where we could/should be. And so we may feel that God is disappointed in us and thus we feel guilt or shame. We then try to span the gap on our own strength and merit, which is not really possible. However, we learn in Romans 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. God doesn't want to punish us for not being able to do it on our own. He wants to come alongside of us and help us to become the people he created us to be.

I like the part where Jeff said that we really struggle with turning our life over to God because we don't know what that means and we like to feel like we're in control. However, when we do ask God to take over, this is what he says: "You steer the ship. However, remember that I am the captain. Listen to me and seek my advice and I will help you get through the dangerous waters and into safe passageways." (Well, that's not exactly what Jeff said. It's my paraphrase.)

I really enjoyed the message and it encouraged me to really dive in to the 60-60 experiment which started on Sunday as well. I am hoping to make time to blog about my experience with that as well, which I will do for the first time after this post. I would encourage you to listen to the whole message here. If it sounds interesting, perhaps get your own copy of the book Soul Revolution by John Burke.

Effective Prayer

2009-10-05T16:29:00.009-04:00

Last Wednesday, I went to CCC's monthly prayer group. We started meeting in January of this year, I believe. There are usually about five of us who meet, the core four and then a rotation of several. I have enjoyed the intimacy of the group. We are definitely open to more coming, but we haven't made a church announcement because we want it to be composed of people who truly want to pray for our church and one another and not those who think that it may be something "cool" to do, or whatever.

Neal has been leading the meetings since the beginning, but last meeting he invited us to each lead a meeting as well. I volunteered to be the first to lead and had that privilege on Wednesday. Thankfully, I know the group is quite accepting and understanding so I wasn't too worried about what to say. However, I did still want to share something meaningful and relevant to all of us.

While planning, I thought it would be good to talk about my interest in prayer (sort of what has been my desire for seeking opportunities to pray like our prayer group). I have two major desires in prayer. One is to develop a deeper, more intimate relationship with God and the other is to be effective in my prayer life. I reasoned that most people would like to know that their prayers are being heard and answered, so I focused on the second desire.

My first action was to do a Google search on what makes prayer effective. It was interesting to look at the search results, because most of what came back were hindrances to prayer. Obviously, eliminating hindrances would increase effectiveness, but it was interesting that it was more about removing obstacles than building blocks toward effectiveness.

I then thought about James 5:16, "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." I then thought, Okay, so then perhaps I should figure out what it means to be righteous. I thought that perhaps I was missing out on some key ingredient to effective prayer and that if I could just research every word connected to it, perhaps I could find the answer. This was when it hit me: I'm trying to find the ultimate prayer formula to unlocking God's power. That is obviously not going to happen because it's a relationships, not a math problem.

Relationships develop through sharing, honesty, and vulnerability. Perhaps my focus should be not on saying or doing the right thing, but on opening myself up more to God.

Now, I do want to stop and say that I don't think it's bad or wrong to learn about and try different ways of praying. It can certainly be a great way to improve your prayer life and get out of any rut you may be in. I'm just saying you can't rely on one particular method to be the magic key to unlock powerful prayer.

I have been reading Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller and there was a quote in his book that related to my search for effective prayer:

I know it's tempting to believe if we will walk through ten steps or listen to only a certain kind of music or pray in a certain way and for a certain number of days then we will find favor with God, but we won't. The formulas, I understand, were created by their authors to help us, but they do more hindering than helping. If we trust in a formula, if we trust in steps, we are not trusting in God. Formulas, while helping us organize our faith, also tempt us to trust in them rather than in God. p.206

After reading and thinking about all of this, I was satisfied that I'm probably not missing out on the be-all end-all prayer style. So then, was that really my true concern? I think my question of ineffectivity is actually about seeing God's answers to my prayers. I can tell the difference between daily prayer/quiet times and the lack of them so there obviously is some personal benefit/aid in it. But what about all of those requests that I make for myself and others regarding circumstances and hopes and dreams? I feel like I really struggle with looking for/seeking God's response. Part of it is that I, like many others, tend to believe that if I don't see an affirmative response right away then that means my prayer had no power. But that's not true, and I was reminded of this while seeking wisdom about effective prayer.

I was reminded that there is no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God hears and responds to each request. However, sometimes his answer is "no" and we tend to interpret that as God not answering our prayers. Just because you don't get what you ask for doesn't mean it wasn't heard. Your parents said "no" to requests from you. I guess it's harder because we don't necessarily "hear" a "no" from God. We see no action and so God must not have heard us. But "yes" and "no" aren't the only answers. Sometimes there's "not yet" which may be just as discouraging as "no" because it tends to "sound" the same. But for me, the reminder that "not yet" is an option really encouraged me. There are multiple prayers that I know God could answer immediately, but doesn't. It's not because he can't or won't, it's just because I don't know his timing. I was reading somewhere that said that sometimes God waits for the moment in which he will receive the most glory.

I hear many stories of people praying for years for a wayward child, spouse, or parent without much result. And then one day, it happens. The reminder that God can do anything, and that he wants no one to perish but all to come to him encourages me to continue to pray for situations such as these because it is God's desire as well. I know he can't force people to choose him, but he can place people in their path and reveal himself to them in unique ways. Knowing that God hears, gives me determination to be like the widow that continues to go to the judge until he finally issues her justice because he is weary of being hounded by her. And I know that God delights to hear from me. So this, along with the realization that I may have been misinterpreting God's responses, helps me with my struggle.

It was really good to talk about all this among the group to hear other perspectives on seeing answers to prayer and feeling close to God in and through prayer. At one point, I managed to see how my two initial desires connect. If I am drawing nearer to God and deepening my relationship with him, then I will desire his will. If I am desiring his will, then I will seek his heart. Seeking his heart should lead me to pray for his will to be done. If I am praying within his will, then my prayers will most certainly be effective and I ought to see God's action within those prayers. Sort of like a six degrees of separation thing, huh?

So, to sum all of this up, my true goal is and should be to increase my intimacy with God and deepen my relationship with him. I haven't really been sure how to do this because I realize that, generally, between my morning prayer time and the small window before I'm asleep at night I don't really think about God a whole lot. There will be instances here and there where I do, but it's more an exception than the rule.

However, our church is beginning a new series called Soul Revolution which includes a book as well as small group discussion and running partners (even smaller groups which allow for greater honesty and openness). This book has an experiment that everyone is invited to participate in. It's called the 60-60 experiment where, for sixty days, you are to set a watch, timer, or alarm to beep every sixty minutes. At each beep that you hear, you are supposed to reflect on what's going on, remember that God loves you and has great things for you, and recommit yourself to seeking God's will for that, and each subsequent moment. It sounds very challenging, but I think it will really help me to work towards establishing the branch/vine relationship mentioned in Luke 15 that invites us to abide in Jesus. The experiment starts this coming Sunday, October 11th. I am quite excited. I hope to blog some about it as we move through it. I invite you to try the experiment as well if you'd like. Join me as we see what happens when we try to seek God's will in every moment of our lives.

Day of Service

2009-10-05T16:03:00.006-04:00

We did not have church service yesterday so there are not any message notes to post. Instead of holding service, we had our annual CCC Day of Service ("Don't go to church, be the church!"), where we all went out and served in various capacities in the community.

There was a group who packaged meals for Stop Hunger Now, an organization that assembles and sends prepackaged meals to countries around the world. I believe the goal was something like 15,000 or more meals completed. I haven't heard the results yet, but I'm sure the mission was accomplished.

One group helped with yard work around Durham Middle School, our Sunday morning location. It is always nice to be able to give to the place that allows us to do what we do.

Another group, which included most of our teens, went to City of Refuge where they helped feed the homeless and participated in their Sunday morning worship service.

A group went to the State Fair to help collect canned food on behalf of Must Ministries, an organization that works with the homeless in our area providing food, clothing, and emergency shelter. We have also had a box in our church lobby the past few weeks to collect Bibles for Must to distribute to those who need them.

One group worked with Care Net, an agency near Georgia State's campus in downtown Atlanta that offers a variety of services to pregnant women including counseling, parenting classes, services information, as well as a clothing and supplies pantry. I believe they helped install shelving, provide office furniture, and sort through the various clothing donations.

The group that I participated with volunteered at the YWCA in Marietta. We did yard work/landscaping on a courtyard, removed kudzu from a tree (no small feat if you are familiar with kudzu), and picked up litter around the facility. I learned that the organization can receive funds from recycling old cell phones and cell phone chargers. In a few weeks, we are going to set up a box in our lobby for CCC members to donate their old phones.

In the afternoon, some people also went down to the Austell area to help Samaritan's Purse and Westridge Church clean out some of the flood damaged houses in the area. I appreciate those who were willing to work both morning and afternoon to serve those in our area.

I really enjoyed serving yesterday. It always encourages me to find more ways to serve, but I am not usually very good at following through. I did however decide to take the initiative on collecting cell phones for the YWCA and Neal and I talked some today about continuing to improve the courtyard, be it by obtaining some better playground equipment along with more kid-friendly ground cover for the playground, locating gently used patio furniture, or even planting flowers in the spring to provide more color. I really would like to do more to help the agency. They have a 5K at the end of the month, but it's the Sunday morning of our 5th anniversary celebration. Perhaps their next event.

I am excited to learn next week how much money was raised in the Mina Offering Challenge. I am praying that it will blow our minds and fully cover all of our Day of Service expenses. I still have one more Farmer's Market tomorrow to sell bread for the project. I am interested to learn what others have done to make their money grow!

Storyteller Week 4

2009-09-30T11:00:00.005-04:00

I was in the nursery last week so I missed Neal's message on the Good Samaritan. If you're interested, you can hear it by clicking here. Below is this past week's message notes. It was really good. I would recommend listening to it.

Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

Matthew 20:1-16

Some worked twelve hours, some nine, some six, some three, and others only one hour yet they all received the same wage.

"Vineyard" was a common metaphor for "the people of Israel" in Jesus' day.

To work for "whatever is right," you have to have a great deal of trust in your employer because you are banking on his generosity.

Who would still be hoping to get hired with only one hour left in the work day? Those who were truly desperate. No work = no food.

Normally, the all-day workers were paid first. In this story, the one hour workers are paid first. If the employer had followed the normal system, the all-day workers would never have known that they were all paid equally.

Instead of lauding the owner's generosity, the all-day workers are furious that they were all paid equally. They, like our society, feel that the harder one works, the longer one's been at work, the more one contributes, the more is expected to be received in comparison to a newbie on the job.

Jesus' intent was to show the hidden sense of entitlement, the feeling of unfairness, and the economy of grace. Grace isn't about counting at all. The story is about who can be forgiven by God and allowed into the kingdom. Everyone is welcome at any time (any point in one's life, young or old).

Performance-based Christianity (all day workers) - we miss out on our need of grace; instead we feel entitled to it. Instead of feeling grateful for being chosen, we feel cheated because others we feel are "less deserving" also receive the same grace.

Grace-based Christianity - relationship based on trust, not a contract; we are overjoyed at the grace we receive, knowing that it is undeserved.

We are often outraged at the abundance of God's grace and the seeming unfairness of it. We often fail to remember that we are just as unworthy of grace as anyone else. Why do we tend to identify with (assume that we are) the workers who were hired first? We are all, in fact, latecomers in the story.

We are envious of God's generosity. He continues to seek out workers for his vineyard, even without benefit to himself.

"God dispenses gifts, not wages...If we were paid deservingly, we would all end up in Hell." Philip Yancey

This message really hit me. I do tend to see the seeming unfairness of the situation rather than the amazing message of grace that it is. I, too, would be outraged to have worked all day and have been paid equal to the one hour worker, regardless of the contract that had been established when I agreed to work. And it is true, sometimes I do feel like I am "working harder" than others even though we will receive the same reward. I don't know why I feel like I was one of the early ones to the vineyard. I am not supposed to compare myself to others. It is about focusing on my relationship with God. It's about my response to God's grace. I can't determine what other people will do with their gift, only what I will do with mine.

Personal application: Focus on seeking God's desires for me and not compare my efforts, my gifts and talents, my service to those of others. God created us each individually. Therefore, he has different work for us to do. My desire should be to complete the work God has prepared for me to do.

Who is Jabez?

2009-09-15T12:47:00.003-04:00

I was reading in 1 Chronicles today. There seems to be a whole lot of genealogy listing in the first half of the book. I'm only to chapter 5 and it's still all about soandso's descendants and their descendants, etc. It is laying out the genealogy to David, I believe, but sometimes it gets to be tedious. It is kind of cool to see who turns into what group of people who you hear about fighting with Israel and Judah later on (ex. Canaan was the father of Sidon his firstborn, and of the Hittites, Jebusites, Amorites, Girgashites, Hivites, Arkites...).

Anyway, so I read three plus chapters of the sons of various people and in chapter four verses nine and ten it says: Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

Then verse 11 goes right back to people and their sons. I, of course, was wondering, Where did this come from? And who is Jabez? None of the people before are named Jabez to indicate what family he's related to except that the title of the chapter is "Other Clans of Judah". So where do these two verses come from? They seem very out of place and a little confusing.

So this post is more of a question. Does anyone have greater understanding of this passage and could answer my questions? Who is Jabez and why is this random story in the middle of all of the genealogy?

True Leadership

2009-09-15T12:35:00.004-04:00

I was reading in 2 Kings 22-23 about King Josiah. During his reign, the Book of the Law was found and read to him. It caused him to tear his robes and inquire of God to see what must be done because he knew that Judah was not following the law. He tore down all of the idols and destroyed the high places the kings before him and built as response to the Book of the Law. He worked on restoring the temple as it should be. He also shared his new knowledge with the people of Judah.

2 Kings 23:1-3: Then the king called together all the elders of Judah and Jerusalem. He went up to the temple of the Lord with the men of Judah, the people of Jerusalem, the priests and the prophets - all the people from the least to the greatest. He read in their hearing all the words of the Book of the Covenant, which had been found in the temple of the Lord. The king stood by the pillar and renewed the covenant in the presence of the Lord - to follow the Lord and keep his commands, regulations and decrees with all his heart and all his soul, thus confirming the words of the covenant written in this book. Then all the people pledged themselves to the covenant.

This section really hit me. The king (the country's leadership) set an example for the people. The people then chose to follow it. That is a great testament of what leadership should look like. The king let the people know that Judah had not been living as it ought and publicly declared the changes that were going to be made. He made himself accountable to the people.

This is not something you see in today's leadership. They seem to be looking out for the people's interests, but they do not seem to be saying, "We think that this is the right course of action and, to prove it to you, we will be the first people to follow the rules and statues we are proposing. We will show by our example how effective the new plans and policies are." Instead it sounds more like, "This is what is best for you. We don't need this stuff so we won't have to be subject to it, but we're sure that it will be successful." There's not proof or accountability. They are not putting their money where their mouths are. Will we ever see this type of leadership in our country?

Perhaps you feel that our national and local leadership is living what it is preaching. If so, I am interested to be shown examples of this. I would be encouraged by this example.

Storyteller Week 2

2009-09-15T12:26:00.003-04:00

I'm a little more on it this week. Here are my notes from Sunday. I would highly recommend listening to the message yourselves as it was very poignant and relevant.

Parable of the Ten Virgins

Matthew 25:1-13

"If Only"

In Jesus' day, weddings lasted for days. Toward the end, the bridegroom would go to get the bride from her house to take her to his house where they would have a week long party/honeymoon with their families. When the bridegroom does this, he has a procession with him of wedding guests. All of the guests carried their own light to show that they belonged to the party. Without a light, you were considered a wedding crasher and not allowed in to the party.

The bridegroom (Jesus) is going to return so we need to be ready. The lamp is our life. We are to make sure our life is a preparation for Jesus' return. We shouldn't allow ourselves to get caught up in/distracted by everyday life.

There are some things in life that cannot be borrowed - a relationship with God, character, past experiences. I am responsible to God for my life. It is possible to wait until it is too late.

Now is the time. "Someday" may never come.

The unprepared girls were not called evil or wicked, but foolish. They were not defiant or deliberately disobedient, they just didn't think everything through. They drifted along without making preparations.

Spiritual complacency: failure to have the proper sense of urgency or of what's really important

2 Corinthians 6:1 "Please don't squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us."

Do you have any regrets? About parenting, finances, sin, etc? Work on regret elimination this week.

Personal application: I really enjoyed this message. My husband and I had a good discussion about what it meant to each of us. My application is to stop making excuses about why I don't do things or am not being proactive about things. I could be doing some editing of my book, but I choose not to. I need to suck it up and do what is needed because I don't know how much time I actually have to work on/complete the project.

Storyteller Week 1

2009-09-11T16:40:00.003-04:00

This past Sunday we started a new series called "Storyteller." It is going to be a four week series where each week we study a Parable told by Jesus. You can listen to this and previous messages by clicking here.

Parable of the Ten Minas

(Not to be confused with the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. Minas has the same initial amount with different rewards while the talents have different initial amounts with the same reward).

Luke 19:11-26

One mina = about 3 months of wages

The story essentially retold the story of Archelaus' kingship (son of Herod) which probably caused an emotional connection with the audience due to the situational familiarity.

Every servant was given the exact same thing (as are we - the gospel message of salvation).

The reward was determined by what the servants did with what they were given (as is ours - we may receive more responsibility or more opportunities to serve if we are faithful in using what God has given us).

1. Expectations are made Evident
>Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20)

2. Excellent Efforts are Rewarded
>the focus was on the master ("your mina")
>Don't worry about what you don't have. Concentrate on what you do have (your talents and resources).

3. Evil "I" Ends in Rebuke
>The faithful servants focused on obedience. The unfaithful servant focused on his own hardship of his assignment. The master pointed out the servant's laziness/lack of action.

Our service to God should be out of a loving respect rather than the fear of punishment.

God will not buy our week excuses for our lack of obedience.

Mina Offering Challenge: Take the $10 provided by the church and use it faithfully for God. On October 11th, a special offering will be taken up from the challenge. The money will be used to help cover the cost of the Day of Service we perform on October 4th.

Personal Application: I am doing the Mina Offering Challenge. It's interesting to try to think of what I have and what I can use/do to grow what I've been given. I'm excited to see what happens!

With Week 4

2009-09-11T16:31:00.004-04:00

I have been so slack lately. I admit it. Here is the final installment of the "WITH" series. You'll notice that week three is missing. I was in the nursery that week. If you want to hear it (or any of the other messages), click here.

I'm With Them

Lifestyle Enclaves: groups who have a common interest for the purpose of furthering the individual's interests
>This is how many people have been taught to think about the church.

Matthew 5:13-16
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

>Salt is cheap in our culture. In Jesus' day it was valuable and hard to come by. It was used to preserve food.
>Jesus was saying that we are valuable and precious in a world that's spoiled and decaying.
>Light meant warmth, safety, protection, hope. We are to provide truth and life.

74% of Christians agree that you don't need to be part of a church to be a Christ-follower.

A true community has a cause, a mission, a reason for existing outside of meeting its members' needs. True community is missional.
It is what is different about the church compared to other organizations and groups.

Acts 1:8 - you will be my witnesses throughout the world

What would happen if we became intentional about being salt and light in our community?
What would God do if we gave ourselves over to him to show compassion to others?
What would happen if we partnered with God to redeem and restore this broken world?

God has never been impressed with religious behavior. Isaiah 58:6-8

In the Metro Atlanta area there are 5 million people so 120 doesn't seem very important or impressive. However, Jesus changed the world with 12 followers. Imagine what could be done if the 120 of us were united in a common cause.

Personal application: Be purposeful in my actions and activities. Seek to give myself to God in order to be used to spread compassion and love to those around me.

Crazy Love

2009-08-27T17:40:00.004-04:00

I recently borrowed and read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It is a deep book (with cool interactive website features). I think I'm going to have to get my own copy so that I can highlight all of Francis' profound words and not ruin someone else's copy.

What I gained from it were some not very encouraging and not very surprising insights.

1. I struggle with being lukewarm (as in I am when I would prefer to be hot hot hot).
2. I struggle with being obsessed (as in I am not when I would prefer to be so when it comes to God).
3. I need to (and want to) love God more. I need to pray about my lack of desire/action.
4. I don't really feel like I know how to develop and maintain an intimate relationship with God.

Let me expound on that last one. I desperately want to be completely in love with God so that all of my thoughts and actions are the result of my love for him. I want for my life to be nothing more (and nothing less) than an outpouring of love for my creator and Savior. I want these things, but I can't seem to figure out how to get there. I read books about developing an intimate relationship with God. I try the suggestions in the book. I have a daily quiet time where I pray and read the Bible. I read more books about loving God. I try to find ways to use my time and talents to serve others (not always, but I'm working on it). I feel like in all of this effort I am still missing the mark. I understand that a relationship is not developed through a formula. It's just so hard for me to continually think about God and to converse with him continuously because the tasks of "living" keep occupying space in my mind and day.

I try to think about it as doing what I do to maintain relationships with people I see. I will call them, email them, schedule activities and dinners to spend face-to-face time with them. I'll take pictures to commemorate occasions and post them on Facebook. I give gifts and affection. Okay, so I do this with God too, but I don't feel like it's increasing our intimacy. I think I really struggle sometimes with God's invisible quality (in relation to a physical "being" as I know God's qualities are visible through creation - it's not quite the same). Sometimes I do wish I could sit down across from God and see his facial expressions and reactions to what I tell him. Sometimes I want to give him a hug and feel his reassuring arms around me. I'd love to hear him laugh and see him smile. But I can't. So how do I fill in this gap? I don't know.

I see people who do have a deep and intimate relationship with God. They love him and know that they are loved and cherished by him. And his love is visible on their faces. It makes me wonder, what am I doing wrong? Or what am I not doing? I'm not satisfied with where I am and how I feel, but I don't know how to change it. My only thought is to continue to pray - to tell God that I want more of him, that I want to be completely surrounded by his love so that I do feel different. That I need him to deepen our relationship because I can't seem to do it with my efforts. Maybe that's it. Maybe he's calling for surrender. I guess I'll try that.

With 2

2009-08-27T17:09:00.004-04:00

I am quite behind in posting my notes from our second week of the With series. And I'll be even farther behind with week three because I wasn't here to hear it and have yet to make it to the website. I am so slack these days. Anyway, here's a very belated recap of the message two weeks ago.

I'm With Stupid

Joseph - coat of many colors, dreams of superiority (Genesis 37-45): didn't exactly do the smartest thing by showing off his favoritism and sharing his crazy dreams.

Sometimes we think that if we are with the right people, then everything will be okay.

We think relational happiness comes from finding people who are easy to get along with.

"We all, like sheep, have gone astray." (Isaiah 53:6) -> We all make mistakes and hurt others by our words and actions. The big thing is to admit our failures and take responsibility for our part.

In Joseph's story, no one ever tries to work out their issues with one another. The brothers don't ask Joseph to stop wearing the coat or sharing his dreams. Instead they sell him into slavery.

Our tendency is to avoid issues/conflict/confrontation with others.
>Avoidance kills community (no one grows or changes)
>When things go unaddressed and undealt with, relationships suffer
>"Do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians 4:26)

Is there anything you need to talk about with someone that has not been addressed?

People who love authentic community prefer the temporary chaos of conflict to the peace of permanent superficiality.

We need truth tellers to remind us of our values, let us know where we get off track, and to encourage us to do the right thing.

Genesis 39:2, 20-23 "The Lord was WITH Joseph...
>Just because he had difficult times doesn't mean God wasn't with him.

Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

Genesis 50:20 -> "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.

Some of the best things in life come from the most unlikely of places.

Romans 8:31,34,35,37 What shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?...Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger of sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

This was such an encouraging message that helped me to remember that no matter what is going on in my life, God is still with me guiding me through. I also really liked the comment about authentic community. I am not good at small talk and surface relationships. I want honesty and depth and real life. While these types of relationships are sometimes hard and messy, I desire them more than the easy breezy no-commitment ones because there is a richness to it that you don't get staying at the surface. I like to feel connected to people. To have people who know all about me - the good and the bad - and still choose to be in relationship with me.

So what would be my personal application? I guess to continue to put myself out there in order to build authentic community. To be honest with my issues as well as to be bold enough to confront others when necessary. I do struggle with conflict. I'd much prefer to let things smooth over, but that doesn't make anything better. I am growing slowly but surely in this area. I think marriage helps. Well, what really helps is to have a relationship that you are invested in and desire for it to be the best and healthiest it can be which means sometimes doing the hard thing of dealing with issues. I guess that's why marriage comes to mind, because it is one of those relationships for me.

What about you? Do you have any relationships that you are invested in enough to deal with conflict?

Motivation

2009-08-11T11:50:00.003-04:00

I have been thinking about how my job in the church office could cause others to misconstrue the motivation or drive behind some of the things I do. Relationships are important to me. I enjoy getting to know people better on a one-on-one format as that works best for me and my introvert tendencies. I have had the desire to develop a specific relationship with someone who attends our church and am excited to see what happens. It is something that God has laid on my heart to do and it is also something I want to do.

I have also felt the urge to visit a few other people that I don't see very often, probably because it's summer and everyone takes vacations during this time. I am thankful that my job allows me to take time to see people during the day. However, I wonder if some think that I am visiting them because I "work for the church." I don't want others to think I'm "just doing my job" rather than doing something of my own prerogative. I'm sure that pastors feel this much more acutely than us lowly office administrators, but I still wonder if people think I've been instructed to contact them.

I am sure that there will be people that think that but I hope that most people attribute my actions to genuine care. I don't know how one is to gauge these thoughts, I just wanted to share my concern. I wonder if Jeff or Neal (our pastors) think about this or feel this way as well.

WITH 1

2009-08-11T11:28:00.006-04:00

Sunday we kicked off our new series WITH. I am very excited about this series. There are all sorts of fun things going on. This past Sunday, we started our "text and win" contest. At the start of service, the band plays a song whose title contains the word "With". The first person to text the name of the song and the artist wins a prize. Travis Crafton won on Sunday, being the first to figure out it was "Only Want To Be With You" by Hootie and the Blowfish. Jeff also tossed out some cool t-shirts and informed the crowd that they could pick one up after service.

Sunday's message was titled, Who Are You With? Below are my notes. For the full message, click here.

People with strong relationships live longer and are more able to battle illness than those who are isolated.

"It is not good for man to be alone." Genesis 2:18

I-It Relationship: one person relates to the other as an object; it's all about MY desires and wants (i.e. The church wasn't meeting my needs. I wasn't getting fed.)

I-Thou Relationship: both people's needs and desires are equally important; serving others and meeting their needs

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 : how would you like a relationship like this? Paul uses the word "agape" which is love that focuses solely on the needs of the other person.

Douglas Copeland quote from Life After God: "Now, here is my secret. I tell it you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again. So I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God - that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give because I no longer seem capable of giving. To help me be kind as I no longer seem capable of kindness. To help me love as I seem beyond being able to love."

We need God to help us love and to help us make relationships all that they can be.

Emmanuel = God WITH us (Jesus)

Jesus was all about being with us, being present at all times. When he left, he sent the Holy Spirit to dwell IN us so that we would never be without him.

God created the church to be where we get 1 Cor 13 relationships.

Will you start or continue to do life in/with the church?

You don't drift toward community but toward isolation. Deep relationships don't just happen.

*Pick one relationship to focus on improving for the next few weeks.

Personal application: I do desire to love others like 1 Corinthians 13 describes. I can't imagine what relationships would be like if we all tried to love like that. I understand that with a love that always trusts, always forgives, and is patient that there is plenty of room for abuse by others. I think that's why more people don't try to love this way. I desire for our church to be a place where people feel welcomed and loved and motivated to love and serve God more. I guess it starts with one.

Sex and the Soul

2009-08-07T12:08:00.004-04:00

I recently read a book called Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance and Religion on America's College Campuses by Donna Freitas. It was a book resulting from her research on different college campuses ranging from evangelical Christian schools to Catholic schools to secular universities. It was quite interesting to read about her conversations with a variety of college students.

There were definitely a lot of differences between the atmosphere at the evangelical Christian schools and the other types. It was interesting to learn that Catholic campuses were pretty much the same as secular universities in attitudes and behaviors.

While I was reading the book, I was thinking about my experiences while at school. I could see how religion could be divorced from sexual experiences on many universities, even if one is a Christian. I did flounder spiritually until I got involved in a campus Christian group and was able to spend time with others who shared my beliefs and values. I needed people who would encourage me to live what I believe and to help me grow in my spiritual relationship with God. If I hadn't found the group, I don't know what I would be like now.

When I arrived on campus, there was no one really telling me what churches were in the area or what groups were available on campus to become involved in. Sure there's a link on the school website that lists all of the organizations on campus, but how does that help me find one that is a good fit? I didn't have any friends who could point me in the right direction.

The book also opened my eyes more to what many students experience on college, the hook-up culture. Yes, I saw bits and pieces of it but it wasn't really part of my personal experience. I'm sure part of it was due to my lack of involvement in the party scene. I can't imagine trying to develop a committed, respectful relationship out of a one night stand. And yet, according to the book, this is what many women hope because they do not see another way of attracting a guy.

The book filled me with sorrow and compassion for all of the young men and women who cannot see a way out of the pressure-filled social scene laced with alcohol and casual sex. It has made me even more desirous to complete the book I'm working on to get it out there. Perhaps if more options were presented, it would help students to think what they truly want for themselves rather than going with the flow.

Sacrifice

2009-07-28T10:32:00.005-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about sacrifice lately. With the exception of its application in war times, you don't hear about it a whole lot. It doesn't seem like something that is promoted in our society. Our culture is all about comfort, ease, convenience. We are told to make sure we get what is coming to us and to stand up for our rights. We should not let anyone get anything by us - that's why there are so many court tv shows and dramas. I've even seen a billboard advertising a website "Who Can I Sue?" The messages I receive from the world around me tells me that sacrifice is not important, or ever really necessary.

However, I learn in the Bible that sacrifice is the ultimate form of love. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 The best way to demonstrate love to others is to sacrifice myself for them. That's what Jesus did for us. That is what we are supposed to do out of our love for God. But what kind of sacrificing are we to do? Are we supposed to seek out opportunities to put our life in danger? Not necessarily. Like I said above, we are all about convenience these days - drive-thrus, online bill pay, cell phones. What if we were open to allowing ourselves to be inconvenienced by others? What if we were not so interested in our own agenda, but in whatever God may have in mind? What if I were truly willing to sacrifice my own wants for the benefit of others?

Yesterday in prayer group we had a discussion on fasting. We talked about the different types of fasts, reasons for fasting, and the purpose of fasting. Fasting is generally associated with food, but fasting should be associated with sacrificing. For some people, it is nothing to skip meals. What would be even more difficult would be to give up the internet. In a fast, the thing sacrificed is supposed to help make you more aware of your need for/dependence upon God. If the "sacrifice" is not noticed, then it's not really a sacrifice. Sacrifices are usually associated with pain - not necessarily physical, but there's a pang of some sort, maybe a feeling similar to withdrawal. The lack of that "thing" is felt acutely. It got me thinking about times of fasting I've had in the past. Not every time has the sacrificed thing really been a true sacrifice to me. There have been times when it was ritual rather than purposeful.

I am pressed to ask myself, "Am I willing to sacrifice my wants, desires, comfort, happiness, etc for others or for something better? In my marriage, do I always seek my way or am I looking for ways to serve my husband? In my relationships, am I seeking the interests of friends and families, or am I continually guarding my own? With God, am I truly desiring his purpose for my life so much that I would sacrifice whatever he asked me to, or are there areas in my life that I am still holding onto and keeping away from God? Do I truly trust God that the result will be worth whatever sacrifice he may call me to make?"

What about you? Can you honestly answer "Yes" to the questions above?

Psalms S.O.A.P. Wrap Up

2009-07-27T17:02:00.005-04:00

I was thinking that it would be kind of neat to compile the verses I selected for each of the thirty-six days. I realize that my "Day One" post does not reflect the first day of the plan but rather the second. I didn't SOAP on sermon days, but will still make a verse selection from each of the days. I think it'll be a good record for me to look back on. Hope you enjoy it as well! I really did enjoy the SOAP exercise and think I may use it for future Bible reading.

Day 1 (Psalm 1): He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 1:1

Day 2 (Psalms 2-6): In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. 5:3

Day 3 (Psalms 7-11): Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. 9:10

Day 4 (Psalms 12-14,16-17): I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." 16:2

Day 5 (Psalms 18,20-22,24): For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. 22:24

Day 6 (Psalms 25-29): One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. 27:4

Day 7 (Psalms 30-34): Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord" - and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah. 32:5

Day 8 (Psalm 15): He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart 15:2

Day 9 (Psalms 35-39): Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 37:7

Day 10 (Psalms 41-45): My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 42:2

Day 11 (Psalms 47-51): "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." 50:23

Day 12 (Psalms 52-56): In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? 56:4

Day 13 (Psalms 57-61): I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me. 57:2

Day 14 (Psalms 62-66): My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. 62:1

Day 15 (Psalm 19): May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. 19:14

Day 16 (Psalms 67-71): May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, the Lord Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel. 69:6

Day 17 (Psalms 72-76): For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. 73:3

Day 18 (Psalms 77-81): When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. 77:2

Day 19 (Psalms 82-86): Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. 86:11

Day 20 (Psalms 87-91): Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 90:12

Day 21 (Psalms 92-96): The Lord knows the thoughts of man; he knows that they are futile. 94:11

Day 22 (Psalm 23): Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 23:4

Day 23 (Psalms 97-101): Know that the Lord is God: It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. 100:3

Day 24 (Psalms 102-106): he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 103:10

Day 25 (Psalms 107-111): Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them. 111:2

Day 26 (Psalms 112-116): How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. 116:12-14

Day 27 (Psalms 117-118,120-122): It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. 118:8

Day 28 (Psalm 119): I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. 119:11

Day 29 (Psalm 40): Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. 40:5

Day 30 (Psalms 123-127): Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 127:1

Day 31 (Psalms 128-132): I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. 130:5

Day 32 (Psalms 133-137): to the One who remembered us in our lowly estate His love endures forever. 136:23

Day 33 (Psalms 138-142): The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands. 138:8

Day 34 (Psalms 143-147): Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 143:10

Day 35 (Psalms 148-150): Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. 150:6

Day 36 (Psalm 46): God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 46:1

I'm glad that I reviewed the verses because I did not recall having chosen some of them. Perhaps that's a sign I could still improve in the area of meditation on scripture.

Forgiveness

2009-07-22T09:44:00.004-04:00

I just finished reading today's Serious Wednesday post over at Stuff Christians Like. It really hit me hard. I would recommend hopping over there to read it. To think that we have a God that is willing to forgive us at the first second of our turning to him in repentance. If people forgave like God, it would be such a healing world. We wouldn't have to experience the pain of someone else reminding you of your failures after they had said they forgave you. I love that God's forgiveness is much higher than the petty forgiveness down here. I love that his memory does not recall every insult or hurt we've inflicted on him, just waiting for a future time to remind us of our sinfulness. No, God's love has covered over our sins. In his mind, we are pure and blameless and clean.

I know that I struggle with letting go of hurts that others have inflicted on me. I try not to allow it to resurface in the face of another injury. I know how much it hurts when it's done to me. Why should we be made to feel guilty AGAIN for something we have already sought forgiveness for and been forgiven of. It's not forgiven if it gets rubbed in our face again, is it? I desperately want to receive the forgiveness that God has from other people. I want to be able to give it as well. Imagine how life would be if we all were quick to forgive and graciously left hurts in the past? Yes, I know that that kind of forgiveness could lead to abuse. God certainly knows and has experienced this as we are all guilty of requiring forgiveness on a regular basis. But that's where unconditional love comes in. Wouldn't it be awesome if we all tried to forgive and love like God?

The Psalms: Week Five

2009-07-22T09:10:00.003-04:00

This past Sunday, Jeff preached on Psalm 40. While I didn't get to hear it due to volunteering in the nursery, so many people had raved about the message that I knew I needed to listen to it. That, and the fact that when I was printing out the connection cards and saw that a Next Step was "Wait patiently on the Lord" and knew that was something I could use help in. Amber and Connie were referencing it all through our walking group yesterday and I felt a little out of the loop. So I listened to it on my way to work today. You, too, can listen to it here.

It was quite an encouraging message. It was all about waiting on the Lord. The focus was on the first four verses.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man
who makes the Lord his trust

I know that the band played U2's song, "Psalm 40" before the message. John Waller's song "While I'm Waiting" was also played.

I really like that Jeff addressed the question, "What does it mean to wait on the Lord?" That has been one of the questions I've had for quite some time without a helpful answer. (Another one being, "What does it mean to abide in Christ/How does one abide in Christ?") Jeff said that waiting on God involved being obedient to and trusting in Him. He gave us thoughts to consider. Biblical waiting does not mean doing nothing. It's not a way to evade responsibility. We are still supposed to do what we have been called to do. Waiting involves a daily decision to trust and obey God. How can we expect God to convene in our lives if we're not being obedient to him? Waiting patiently is saying that we will trust and obey God even if the circumstances of our lives are not what we want them to be. Even though they may not turn out in the way we would choose, still we are betting everything on God with no plan B. Sometimes waiting is just a painful hanging on.

What does it take to wait well? It requires patient trust. "Will I trust that God has reasons for telling me 'Wait'? Will I trust that God knows what he's doing? Will I remember that God sees things very differently than I do because he sees in the perspective of eternity?"

2 Peter 3:8-9 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

S.O.A.P. Day 27

2009-07-20T17:01:00.002-04:00

The scripture for day 27 was Psalm 119.

Scripture: I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11

Observation: The psalmist knows that by learning and meditating on scripture, he will be more aware of what it says so that he can obey it.

Application: I need to get back to verse memorization. I keep saying this because it is true and beneficial,, but i have yet to put it into practice again.

Prayer: Father, you are so good to me. Thank you for your Word that reminds me of the necessity of knowing (and not just reading) it. Help me to begin hiding your Word in my heart. Amen.

There were a couple other verses that I really enjoyed from Psalm 119.

Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. Psalm 119:90

Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. Psalm 119:165

I remember the first time I tried reading Psalm 119. I was overwhelmed by the length of it (176 verses and approximately four pages in my bible). I also got weighed down by the theme of loving and knowing God's Word. At that point in time the repetition was somewhat boring to me. However, more recent readings of it have given me encouragement and joy. Now that I do desire to know and obey God's Word, the words of this psalm resonate with me. It's amazing how passages in the Bible hit you differently at various readings. It is an obvious sign of God's work in my life and how his Word is always relevant. I occasionally will date a scripture verse or section and make a notation of the particular circumstance that applies to it. It's neat when I come across the verse later to read about its past benefits.

Does anyone else write in their Bible? Have you noticed how a passage can mean nothing to you at one reading and be spot on at another time?

Christ Centered Marriage

2009-07-20T13:50:00.006-04:00

I listened to Christ Centered Relationships part 2 from Cornerstone Church this morning while on the elliptical machine at the gym. It's a great way to make valuable use of time and engage my mind along with my body.

Lisa Chan did most of the speaking toward women/wives. It talked a lot about Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, focusing on submitting to our husbands. Her focus was about us being/becoming the godly women we were created to be. To concern ourselves with being obedient to Christ in our lives. It's not about what our spouses are or are not doing. We cannot wait for them to do what they are supposed to do before we do what we are supposed to do. Our call is to do what God wants us to do in spite of what everyone else is doing.

The question is, Is Jesus really our role model (who we are trying to be more like) or is he just a Savior? Do we like what he did for us simply for our benefit or do we want to be more like him? Do we want to demonstrate service and sacrifice like he did or just admire him for it?

Lisa talked cited 1 Peter 3 in reminding us that our actions can have a lot of power. Especially to wives whose husbands are not Christ followers. Being Christ to our husbands can cause changes in them (while at the same time changing us, obviously). Wives need to remember that God knows us and he knows our spouse. He hasn't left us to ourselves, but is working in us and through us.

I was really hit by the call to serve and sacrifice for our spouses. (I think there was a third "s" but I can't remember what it was.) I do want to be a godly wife and to support (maybe that was the third "s"?) my husband and to trust him as the head of our family. God created this system and he knows what he's doing and I ought to honor that. I was thinking about how it's hard to get out of my selfish mindset even in marriage to truly seek to serve Adam. And even harder to purposefully sacrifice myself and my dreams.

We all have these goals for our lives and, when we get married, we bring them with us. At some point there may be friction between what we have always wanted and what is asked of us in marriage. Francis talked about Lisa's dream to be a professional singer and choosing to give that up so that she and her husband could share the same vision of starting a new church. I don't know if I have any dreams that will have to be put aside for my marriage, but I'd like to think that I would be willing to do so. It was a very poignant and challenging message. If you'd like to hear it for yourself, go here and scroll down to the message on 08/10/08.

P.S. The third S was "suffering" (as in Jesus served, suffered, and sacrificed). I don't exactly know that anyone would want to say they "suffer" in their marriage. Might not come across very well...

S.O.A.P. Day 25

2009-07-16T16:45:00.004-04:00

Today's scripture section was Psalms 112-116.

Scripture: How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.
I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.
Psalm 116:12-14

Observation: I was just thinking verse 14 while praying this morning. God is so loving, caring, steadfast, trustworthy. How do I reciprocate when I am flaky, selfish, busy, lazy? Regardless, I do need to give back to God out of all he's given me. I like that the next two verses answer the question: prayer, accepting Jesus as Savior, being obedient and transparent.

Application: I am trying to be more transparent and obedient but my pride gets in the way (along with a desire for acceptance by others). I need to focus solely on pleasing God.

Prayer: Father, thank you so much for this timely verse. You are so good to me. Help me to seek to be obedient and transparent and to give you praise for all you have done and do. I am so thankful for the life you've given me. I am so blessed. In Jesus' name, Amen.

This was quite timely as noted above. The other verse that really struck me today was Psalm 112:7 "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." That's how I need to be. I really do struggle with fear and death. At times I allow fear to immobilize me. I worry about the safety of others, sometimes more than necessary. I just need to trust that God can support me through anything and everything and focus on loving him.

The Psalms: Week Four

2009-07-15T17:41:00.010-04:00

This past Sunday Neal spoke to us about Psalm 23. You can listen to the sermon here. What follows are my notes from the message.

From Psalm 23 we learn three things about the shepherd.

1. The Shepherd's Person

Psalm 23:1 > Our shepherd provides for all of our needs - we should be content in what God's given us.

John 10:11 > Jesus is the good shepherd

Isaiah 53:6 > We all, like sheep, have gone astray

Sheep are very easily led. They have great hearing, sight, and sense of smell. People also tend to be easily led. That's why we need a good leader.

An example of a good leader/shepherd (video Neal shared).

2. The Shepherd's Provision

Verses 2-5
Sometimes we have to be forced to rest. A sheep will not rest until four criteria have been met: Fear (danger), Friction (relationship issues, turmoil), Fleas (annoyances), Famine (hunger).

Restores my soul - rescuing a sheep that has become stuck (has rolled onto side and cannot get back onto its own feet) which is often due to laziness, being loaded down, or being too large. It has to be picked up/rescued by the shepherd and set back down on its feet again.

3b - What if we lived our lives in order to lift up the name of Jesus?

4 - Just because we're following God's leading doesn't mean that there won't be storms (valley of the shadow of death). Sometimes where God wants us to be means going through turmoil.

Our rod is God's word. It protects our lives and is also used for discipline. Our staff is the Holy Spirit that comforts us.

5 - Anoint head with oil - oil used to set apart (as in a king), protection/healing (from diseases).

3. The Shepherd's Promise
Verse 6 - Goodness and love/mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
Neal quoted out of Phillip Keller's A Shepherd's Look at Psalm 23. He was talking about how sheep have good quality manure that can help regenerate grass in derelict soil. "In other words goodness and mercy, goodness and love had followed my flocks. They left behind them something worthwhile, productive, beautiful and beneficial to both themselves and others and me. Where they had walked, there followed fertility and weed-free land. Where they had lived there remained beauty and abundance. And here's the question that now comes to me very pointedly. 'Is this true in my life? Do I leave a benediction and a blessing behind me?'"

Do I bless the things I'm involved in?

Would people be shocked to learn that I am a Christ follower based on their experiences with me?

I really enjoyed the breakdown and the poignant questions at the end. Do I really make a difference for the better in the things I'm involved with? Does my behavior demonstrate love and mercy to others? These are questions I should constantly ask to evaluate my effectiveness.

During the message I was reminded of another video on this book. I have to attach it because it's awesome.

The Psalms: Week Three

2009-07-10T13:39:00.005-04:00

This past Sunday, Jeff's message was on Psalm 19:1-6. You can listen to it here.

Elohim = God of all creation

We are sitting on a ball suspended in midair rotating at 1,000 miles per hour, rotating around a ball of fire 1.6 million times larger than us at a speed of 67,000 miles per hour and don't really think about it. We don't even feel the affects of the speed of rotation, unlike when we ride the teacups at Disney World (or the Batman roller coaster at Six Flags for the more adventurous type).

God's done all of this and we don't give him the honor and glory he deserves. We take all we see for granted and don't even notice God in his creation. We even fall asleep talking to him sometimes.

"Worship is the intentional turning of the mind to God and ascribing to God all of the greatness and goodness and glory that belongs to him." -Dallas Willard

You can worship anywhere at anytime with anyone. It is all about focusing the mind/noticing.

Mindlessness keeps us from noticing/tuning in to God. "Stop and smell the roses" is a well-known saying. Think about the simplicity of the statement. A rose is something you have to intentionally focus on in order to fully appreciate and enjoy it. You may glance at a rose and notice it's color. But to get the full sense of the rose you have to get close to it, put your nose up to the bloom, and breathe in its fragrance. Without consciously engaging the senses, you cannot truly experience a rose.

When we give of ourselves and our resources we are worshiping God.

When was the last time in following God that you felt a sense of wonder or amazement?

Intentionally turn your mind to God. Tuning in to God and worshiping eliminates despair (worries and stress).

Habakkuk 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."
(Sounds kind of like our vegetable garden this year...) Remembering who God is minimizes our issues and their hold on us.

This was such a powerful and convicting message. Especially the description of our planet and its movements. I really don't ever think about what is happening to sustain life on earth. I don't think about how, if gravity was just a little more or less we wouldn't exist, or if the earth's axis tilted just a little more one way or the other there'd be no life, or if we were a little closer or farther from the sun it'd be too hot or cold for life, and all of the infinitesimal differences that would have prohibited life on our planet. When I do stop to consider these things, it blows my mind. For more scientific data, please read The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel. It was an amazing read, but my mind cannot hold all of the actual numbers and research. I really appreciated the reminder.

I do love the beauty of creation. I am definitely guilty of not noticing it more often than not. And the fact that God created it in spite of my obliviousness or neglect of noticing is incredible. A side note: yesterday I was looking at the celosia I planted around our tree. They were looking wilted because it hadn't rained and I hadn't watered them (I'm a bad gardener). It was especially noticeable because the flowers are colorful spikes that were sort of hunched over. Last night it rained and this morning they were all pointed straight up again. It was as if they were praising God for his provision. I could stand to be more like my flowers. My application for the week is to notice God's creation and give him the praise he deserves.

S.O.A.P. Day 19

2009-07-10T12:28:00.004-04:00

Today's scripture section was Psalms 86-91.

Scripture: Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Observation: We should ask God to show us how to spend our days/time so that we will gain wisdom to make good decisions. Making good use of our time increases wisdom.

Application: I need to ask God how my time each day should be spent. His guidance will help me to make good use of my life and please him in all I do.

Prayer: Father, I admit that often times I will make plans for the day without stopping to consider how you might want me to spend it. Other times I will ask you to approve or be present in the plans I make. Help me to instead seek your plans for each day and be willing to bend to your leading rather than try to stick to an arbitrary schedule. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Often times I will act like my days are mine. The free time I have is for my selfish purposes. I only have a finite number of days that God, in his infinite wisdom, has given to me. I should cherish this gift of life and seek God's purposes so that my life may be what it was meant to be. I want a life of meaning not of squandered time.

Trusting God

2009-07-10T08:23:00.006-04:00

I just finished listening to a message titled Christ Centered Relationships (pt 1) by Francis and Lisa Chan at Cornerstone Church. It was soooo good. I really needed to hear it. In it, I was reminded that I am to get all of my fulfillment from God. My husband is not supposed to meet all of my needs, God is. Marriage may last a lifetime, but then there's eternity and our purpose on this earth is to show God's love to the world - to everyone. Christ's love was not selfish - he did not focus on getting his part or having his needs filled up. His focus was on reaching those who needed love and glorifying the Father.

Like we've all heard before, marriage is not about happiness but holiness. God has a purpose for our marriage, if we are married. When we meet him after death, he is not going to ask if we had a happy marriage. He is going to ask if we pointed others to him. This world is passing away and we need to focus on what is next.

Paul exhorted married people to live as they were single (1 Corinthians 7:29-31). Chan explained this that we are not to get completely wrapped up in our families, but to continue to love and serve others. Not that we're supposed to ignore our spouses, but that we are to still serve God in marriage by serving others (including our spouses). The Chans were much more eloquent in their delivery and you may prefer to hear it for yourself here (07/27/08 message).

Francis talked about feeling God's calling to start a church just three weeks after he and Lisa were married. Lisa's response that when she married him she believed that God would lead her and their through him really hit me. Is that what I believe in my own marriage? God says that the man is the spiritual head. Do I trust him at his word and live that in our marriage? I want to if I'm not. My desire is to trust that God's plan for marriage and his set up of the roles of husbands and wives is best and to submit to his design. It's such an eye opener. It isn't about whether or not I trust my husband. It's bigger than that. It's do I trust that God knows what is best for me? He created me. All his ways right and true.

What application do I have from this message? It's for me to answer the question, "Do I really trust God?" And if I do, then I must act like it. I know that he is trustworthy, but I must put feet to my faith. I also need to look to God rather than my husband to meet all of my needs. Once again, it's a trust issue. Do I trust God to come through for me? If I do, then I must act like it. I guess that's my new mantra: If I trust God, then I must act like it.

What about you? Do you struggle with trusting God? What would it look like for you to act like you do?

Must-See TV?

2009-07-08T16:12:00.005-04:00

A while ago I read a book titled Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of the Fallen World. It was a pretty interesting read. It really got me thinking about what I watch on television and in the movies. More recently I've been more aware of the things that I am viewing and do have a desire to be more intentional with my viewing. There's always an opportunity for a lot of wasted time staring at nothing (which is also applicable to computer time).

This book reminded me that I should watch things that honor God and are beneficial. It really caused me to consider the shows I currently watch regularly. Does the content show actual consequences for behavior? Does it applaud a behavior that God does not condone? What is the language like? Are any of the characters hostile or derogatory toward God?

I do desire to please God in all that I do. There are shows that I currently follow that do have questionable content. They are prime time shows that are witty and entertaining but sometimes the things that are shown as okay are not okay according to scripture. The hard thing is that I really enjoy these shows and am "hooked" on them. It is much easier to decide not to start watching new shows with negative content rather than to stop watching current shows with this content. It would be somewhat easier to do so if they were shows that only I follow. But I talk about them with others. I know that I could survive without these shows - really without a t.v. period. But part of me doesn't want to. So I know what would be best for me and am struggling with myself to do it.

I know that it should come down to loving God more than my own enjoyment and that I can find enjoyment in other things. I'm definitely not all the way there, but I am determined to make smarter choices in future movie and TV viewings. I would recommend this book and will share a few quotes from it.

What does it look like when the blood of Christ governs the television and the internet and the iPod and the checkbook and the neckline? P.11

Maybe, for all it's simplicity, we're not exactly sure what it means. What is the author, John, getting at here? What does it mean for a Christian - what does it mean for me - not to love the world? Does it mean I can't watch MTV or go to an R-rated movie? Do I have to give up my favorite TV shows? Is it okay to watch a movie as long as I fast-forward the sex scene? How much violence or language is too much? P.16-17

Whatever the reason, this verse (1 John 2:15) makes you uncomfortable. It invades your personal space. You're afraid if you get too close, these ten little words might come between you and the things in the world you enjoy. You're reluctant to discuss "worldliness" because then you might have to change. P.18

Promoting an evil message is presenting sin in an appealing light. P.61

Whether we're aware of it or not, each of us has a set of beliefs and assumptions about ourselves and about the world we inhabit. Through the lens of these beliefs and assumptions - our worldview - we interpret our experiences, draw conclusions, and make decisions. Ultimately, our world view determines how we live. P.141

We're all plagued by the tendency to compartmentalize some aspects of our lives as spiritual, good, and holy and others as unspiritual, unimportant, and amoral. Perhaps you're familiar with this impulse: "God really cares about my devotions, my church involvement, my tithe, and my sharing the gospel. Those are important. But my work? Just a necessary evil. Home responsibilities? They've got to get done. My free time? That's my time (as long as I don't sin)." Such thinking demeans Christ's lordship and impoverishes our spiritual life, rendering our faith irrelevant to 98 percent of our daily existence. No wonder so many lack passion in their Christian lives. P.155-156

All of life affords one long opportunity to experience God, to serve God, to be used by God, as we receive from him our gifts, callings, and opportunities and the power to utilize them for his glory. P.161

S.O.A.P. Day 11

2009-07-02T11:07:00.003-04:00

This morning's scripture section was Psalms 52-56.

Scripture: In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:4

Observation: David reminds us that we are not to be concerned with the opinion of men, but rather the opinion of God. Our hope and trust is to be in God, not men.

Application: I need to concern myself with being obedient to God, even when that means being unpopular with people. God is faithful and will reward me for my obedience.

Prayer: Lord, please help me to keep my eyes on you and to follow you at all times, even when there's the risk of rejection by others. My hope and trust are in you. You know what is best for me and what will glorify you. Use me, Lord. Amen.

I really liked this verse today because it reminds me of concerns I have about the book I am writing. In it I talk about things that most people have never heard or known. I do sometimes wonder whether others' opinion of me may change, but I have to trust that God can and will use every part of my life. If he can do great things through the sharing of my story, then I want him to do that regardless of what others may think or decide about me. I need to continue to be encouraged by God's word so that I do not give up or give in to fear.

S.O.A.P. Day 10

2009-07-02T10:52:00.003-04:00

I had wanted to post yesterday's SOAP yesterday, but I've been preparing frantically for my parents' arrival today (!) as Adam can attest to and it did not fit into yesterday's schedule. It's a day late, but that's okay.

Once again, there were two verses that really caught my attention from Psalms 47-51. I decided that I would SOAP them both because I could. Plus, they are related in thought and go well together.

Scripture: "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." Psalm 50:23

Observation: Giving thanks to God shows him honor. Acknowledging what God has done allows him to continue to bless us and grow us in our relationship with him.

Application: I need to be sure to acknowledge God's hand in my life so that I do not miss additional blessings from him.

Prayer: Lord, may I not be blind or ignorant to your provision for me. I desire to receive all that you have for me. Please show me the salvation of God. Amen

~~~~~~~~~~

Scripture: Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12

Observation: David wants to fully grasp God's salvation in his life. He wants to be aware of all God has done for him so that it is reflected in what he does/how he lives. He asks for God to help him stay close to God and to live for God.

Application: I don't always feel the "joy of my salvation". I need to remember what God has done for me and live in light of it.

Prayer: Father, remind me of your provision. May I be filled with joy at the remembrance of my redemption. Fill me with your joy and peace that others may see you in me. Amen.

S.O.A.P. Day 9

2009-06-30T11:20:00.004-04:00

Today's section of scripture was Psalms 41-45.

Scripture: My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? Psalm 42:2

Observation: I should long for God. He should be a daily necessity like water. Do I constantly desire more of God? Do I look for the next opportunity to be able to meet with God? Or do I feel it an obligation rather than a privilege?

Application: I should be desiring God so much that I am constantly seeking moments I can steal away with him. Time with God should be what I seek most. I should ask myself, "When I can I go and meet with God?" and take every opportunity.

Prayer: Lord, forgive me for taking time with you for granted. I know how much I need this time. Help me to make the most of my time with you and to look for more opportunities to be with you. Amen.

I really enjoyed this Scripture today. It was very convicting to me when the psalmist asked about meeting with God. I have plenty of time each day, multiple times per day, and I certainly don't take advantage of all of them. Many times I'll choose instead to play Hearts on the computer or stare mindlessly at the television. I'm not saying that I'm not supposed to have any leisure time, but sometimes these are worthless habits. I'm staring at the TV not because I need a break, but because I can't think of anything better to do. I need to form new habits, such as reading my Bible or using my gifts to serve others, when I find myself with unoccupied time (re: bored).

To Those Who Ask Him

2009-06-24T11:17:00.004-04:00

God is sooooo incredible! In yesterday's blog, Waiting in Expectation, I shared some from my prayer journal. The beginning of the excerpt was a prayer for a friend who was going to have to do something difficult and stressful today. Well, I spoke with her last night and she had found out that the situation that she was stressed about having to be a part of had been resolved and so she was off the hook. Praise God! I thought back to what I had prayed and was humbled. I had prayed that He had the ability to make the tense situation easy for her but He did even more than that. God eliminated the situation altogether! He blew my mind! "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" ( Matthew 7:11) Talk about a faith boost. Not only am I excited for her, but I am thankful that God was gracious enough to show His love for me as well.

I'm reading Reaching for the Invisible God by Philip Yancey and it deals a lot with faith and doubt. I realize that in my prayer yesterday I acknowledged that I do sometimes doubt the effectiveness of my prayers. The book talks about how doubt is generally present with faith because faith requires believing despite concrete and irrefutable evidence. This obviously leaves room for questioning and doubt. But doubt has the ability to draw you closer to or away from God. I love that God still answers prayers despite my doubts. I think what He likes is honesty about our doubts, fears, and struggles. Only when we're completely open can He do what is needed because we are acknowledging our lack and admitting our need for Him. And God is so faithful. "O Lord God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you" Psalm 89:8.

Shout Out

2009-06-23T10:51:00.005-04:00

When I started this blog, the purpose was to share what I am learning about and in my relationship with God. The hope was that my experiences would be an encouragement to others as well as a reminder to me.

I know that I am not very good at posting regularly. It definitely seems to be in spurts. After this last void of nearly two weeks I was wondering whether to continue with it as I am not as faithful as I would like to be nor does it seem to be benefiting anyone (for some reason I have decided that the lack of comments equalled the lack of reading, which certainly isn't true. BTB, I realized that my settings didn't allow everyone to comment even if they wanted to so I think I fixed that).

However, shortly after this thought, Adam told me that one of his friends said she was reading it and enjoyed it. Which made me think about the other handful of people who have mentioned that they, too are reading it. So, to those I remember who have let me know they have read it at one point or another, (LB, JKB, NA, MA, JK, KG, QS), thanks! I appreciate the reminder and the encouragement. If I missed your initials, I'm sorry. Thanks for letting me know that this blog is serving a purpose. As always, I welcome comments and feedback (spoken, emailed, posted, whatever).

P.S. - I would encourage you to check out the Stuff Christians Like blog. I thoroughly enjoy its wit and wisdom. The comments posted by others are often just as funny. I would suggest reading this one and/or this one from past posts.

Waiting in Expectation

2009-06-23T10:18:00.004-04:00

Jeff's challenge to meditate on Scripture had a successful first day. I was thinking about how Psalm 5:3 talked about David waiting in expectation after presenting his requests to God and what that should look like in my life. I figured my first chance to really apply it would be at this morning's quiet time. Often times I will write out my prayers and I can't tell if that hinders waiting. I guess it's the same to pause in spoken prayer or written prayer to allow God to reveal wisdom to you. I also know that Scripture and other people are where I most often receive godly instruction.

As I was praying/prayer journaling this morning, I was thinking about the requests I was making and how I would wait expectantly for responses. Especially those that are for other people. Obviously, asking them about it is a good way to see what God has chosen to do. But what about prayers such as guidance for the day? Often times I get sucked into the daily activities and don't even think about looking for where God might want to lead me (or if He is leading me and I'm unaware of it). I really started thinking about prayer and trusting God, especially with other people. I have a friend who has a tough situation that she requested prayer for. I am praying, but I struggle with wondering if my prayers are "powerful and effective" and whether a seeming non answer is a lack of faith on my part or God choosing to do something different. I want to share my prayer thoughts from this morning.

"...I pray that the situation would not be tense but be relatively easy. I know that You have the ability to make that happen. Please help me to trust You to do that. Help me to to trust that You hear my prayers and will answer them. I do struggle a lot with whether You will answer me. I feel like it must hinder my prayer effectiveness. God, I don't know why I am afraid to step out in trust. I have seen Your faithfulness. I am afraid that You will let me down and look foolish. What's wrong with being foolish? You are able to use the foolish, the simple, the meek, the unworthy. You are able to fill in all of the weaknesses with Your strength. Lord, I need You to help me trust You. I need You to help me trust You with my brother, the book, my family, my job, our house, my marriage. None of these things are completely within my control. Many of these things I have limited influence over. Only You can make and keep them blessings. You have influence like none other. You provide hope. You know more about these situations than I do. You know what is needed in each one. Father, help me to trust You and believe in Your goodness. Help me to be confident that You hear my prayers and will act in the necessary ways. Help me not to be afraid to ask You for anything. Help me to approach You confidently. Help me to not be afraid of a "no" or "not yet" looking like an unanswered prayer or evidence to others that You don't exist. I have seen Your hand in my life. You have and continue to provide for me. Help me to trust you at all times. Father, help me to wait expectantly for Your response to my requests..."

I love how in prayer God showed me that it is fear that hinders my trust. Fear of looking foolish in the eyes of others. Isn't it God's approval that I should be seeking? "But they do not know the thoughts of the Lord; they do not understand his plan" ~Micah 4:12 "God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding." ~Job 37:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

I just need to be faithful and trust God to increase my faith and trust. If you can relate to any of this, please share your experience. I'd love to hear from you.

S.O.A.P. Day 1

2009-06-22T12:33:00.003-04:00

This morning I worked on the applications from yesterday's message. I read Psalms 2-6 as directed by the piece of paper I typed up last week at work. From this first day I can already tell that I am going to have to go back through Psalms when this is over. There were so many standout verses in these five chapters and I was supposed to pick just one?! Perhaps that's Jeff's hidden objective. To get us all interested in studying the book more intensely. And, for those other CCCers who are like me and follow directions, that means either having 3.5 hours of meditating time each day and trying to remember six different scriptures and applications OR just doing one now and coming back later to go slower through the chapters.

Thus, I forced myself to pick just one. It was mainly between Psalm 3:5 and Psalm 5:3 (interestingly enough). I like Psalm 3:5 (I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.) because it reminds me to trust in God to protect me at all times. I have a Life Application Study Bible and really enjoyed the footnote on the verse. It talked about how when you worry about a situation it's really hard to sleep at times. In stressful times, trusting in God's provision and protection will help you to sleep peacefully despite whatever chaos may be occurring in your life. That's not verbatim, but the meat of it. I enjoyed the reminder/encouragement. While, this was great, I ultimately chose the other for today.

Scripture: In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3

Observation: David chooses to start his day in prayer to God. He is confident that God hears him. He is not afraid to ask God. Yet, when he asks, he also waits for an answer. He expects God to do something with his requests.

Application: I have chosen to have quiet times in the morning but I struggle with being consistent when my routine changes (generally the weekends even though I have more time - go figure). Often times, I will pray and then continue on with my day. I do not wait or look for God's responses to my prayers. If I truly believe in the power of prayer, I should be willing to do whatever is needed to pray daily. I should also be expecting an answer and be waiting for it.

Prayer: Father, forgive me for taking prayer lightly and for granted at times. I do know that You are able to do anything. Please help me to be diligent daily in prayer. Remind me to not only ask, but to also wait for and seek Your response. You know that I really struggle with waiting on You. Please help me to grow in this area. Thank you for this pertinent word. You are so good to me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

I don't know if I will be posting these daily, but I thought I'd title it for the possibility of more S.O.A.P. posts.

The Psalms: Week One

2009-06-22T11:55:00.006-04:00

Yesterday we started our new message series titled The Psalms: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. We are going to spend six weeks studying a few individual psalms. Our first psalm of study was Psalm One.

Psalm 1
1Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
2But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
3He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
4Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
5Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor the sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6For the Lord watches over the ways of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

Jeff reminded us that the Psalms are not to be read as daily devotionals but as spiritual journals. Daily devotionals are generally purposed to encourage you each day but some of the psalms have angry or depressed moods. They won't all make you feel good.

Why aren't the psalms organized according to the various moods/tones? Perhaps because life is messy and consists of a variety of moods/tones at different times. Thus, the psalms are a reflection of real life.

The psalms remind us that God wants us to praise Him but to also bring Him our hurts, sturggles, and wide variety of emotions. There's nothing we can't tell Him or that He can't handle.

What does it mean to be blessed? Supremely happy, fortunate, envied, lucky (in the way that you don't deserve what you have received).

Verse 1 talks about the relational progression into the sinful life > walk...stand...sit. An example of this progression is found in Genesis 13,19 with Lot. He chooses the land that contains Sodom and Gomorrah (even though he knew the people of the cities were wicked and sinful) and sets up his tent outside of Sodom. He then moves into the city to live. Finally we find him sitting in the gateway of the city (as a leader). He was eventually drawn into what he knew from the beginning was harmful. From this is asked, "Who influences you? From whom do you seek council?"

Verse two talks about the blessed man delighting in and meditating on the law of the Lord. Jeff explained that delighting in the law means to want to know what it says. To meditate on it is to think about it. Worry is negative meditation - thinking and mulling something over and over. If you can worry, you can meditate on God's word and it'll be a lot more productive.

Suggestions for Meditating: 1. Choose a time and place. 2. Ask God to meet you in scripture. 3. Read. 4. Meditate on a brief passage.

We were given an outline for meditating using the acrostic S.O.A.P. (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer)

2 Timothy 3:15-17 (Message) "There's nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful in one way or another - showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us."

What a great reminder. At the end, we were challenged to follow a reading plan that was given to us to help us read through the entire book of Psalms during our series. We were also challenged to use the S.O.A.P. acrostic to meditate on scriptures within our reading.

Personal Application: I am taking up the challenge to follow the reading plan through the end of the series. I am also going to use the S.O.A.P. acrostic to meditate on what I read. Jeff mentioned that writing down what you learn helps you to apply it. I really do want to "do what it says" rather than just hear it (James 1:22). I want to be blessed. I do delight in God's Word, though I certainly don't always act like it. I also desire to yield much fruit and that comes from applying what I know. Hopefully this exercise will help.

If you'd like to hear the full message, click here. It may not be up for a few days because Neal's at camp and he is in charge of uploads.

The Wonder Years

2009-06-10T13:07:00.009-04:00

This past Sunday's message was shared by Nea l. It's about the years between Jesus' childhood and adult ministry. Below are notes and application. You can listen to it here.

Luke 2:41-52

We don't know much about the life of Jesus between when he was a child and age 30. What we can know is gleaned from Luke where it begins with the family's trip to Jerusalem when he was 12.

"And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." v52

Neal expounded on this using alliteration.

Stature - physical growth (Jesus grew up like a normal, typical Jewish boy)

At this point, I was thinking, how can wisdom be an "S" word? Wisdom....sage....sagacity! I then whispered the word to Adam shortly before Neal confirmed my skills.

Sagacity - wisdom (everyone was amazed at his knowledge of God)

Spirituality - favor with God (extremely devout family, Jesus was putting into practice what he was learning from God)

Socially - favor with man (relationships, drawing people to God)
>The average man and woman loved Jesus, it was the hypocritical religious leaders that didn't like him.
>Jesus was invited to a wedding indicating that he was well liked and fun. When there was a crisis, people turned to him indicating his dependability in tough situations. This is where he performed his first miracle (John 2:11 - indicating that he hadn't shown any inclination toward supernatural powers previously).

When Jesus was growing up, he was preparing himself for what he was going to do. What are we preparing ourselves for?

Romans 8:15-17 - we are God's children, heirs with Christ; we are also to share in Christ's glory

God has a part for us to play. We need to prepare ourselves and step into our God-given role. Jesus didn't have to fulfill his appointed role. He chose to do it. And so must we.

What is the stage of life you are being called out of for something new? Are you growing in the four "S"s? What is at least one area you can grow in this summer?

Personal Thoughts: I am part of the women's walking group for the summer which indicates social and stature (relationships and health). There is also an element of the spiritual as we have mini devotions and are encouraged to pray for one another and to develop an accountability relationship with another woman. I have that covered in Jill. I am also trying to reach out more to our neighbors as indicated in a previous post and am involved in tennis with others in the neighborhood. I can always use more wisdom and favor with God. I have been remiss at adding scripture to my heart so that it can become part of my life and actions. I should put more effort into practicing what I am learning from God as well as meditating on His Word.

Explicit Lyrics Week 6

2009-06-09T10:05:00.005-04:00

I know I'm a little behind in posting this. I was in the nursery during service and then out of town at a wedding the following weekend. Regardless I figured it'd be nice to finish up the series for those who might be interested. You can listen to all six messages here. Below are my notes.

Our Song: In It For the Long Haul
Song of Songs 8:5-14

Jeff asked all of the couples if they have a song. I would probably have to say that "Not Fire Not Ice" is our song because it's what we danced to at our reception. However, we both really enjoy Sister Hazel so they could be considered the background noise of our relationship.

In SoS 8:5 Beloved is building Solomon up.
From verses 6-7 Jeff gave us seven aspects of love:

1. Love is personal - a seal is a mark of ownership
2. Love is protective - fighting for and not against one another
3. Love is powerful - as strong as death
4. Love is possessive - you should be one another's ONLY love (good jealousy)
5. Love is passionate - burns like a fire (white hot, consistent, continuous)
6. Love perseveres - water cannot quench it, rivers cannot wash it away (endures hardship)
7. Love is priceless - you can buy sex, but not love; it can only be given

Marriage is supposed to be a display of God's love. What picture of God is our marriage giving to others? Does our marriage display the seven aspects of love to others?

Beloved's brothers (v 8-9) protected her purity in childhood. A lot of what happens in childhood affects our freedom in our marriage. If you didn't have a perfect childhood, God can heal your past.

Challenge to parents to guard their children's purity. In our culture, chastity is not a virtue, it's a joke. That's why parents need to teach them what God says. Don't believe the lie that they are "just going to do it anyway." We are all fully aware of ourselves and choose who to give ourselves to. Help them to see their value and worth so that they don't act like they are cheap or easy.

We all have failed relationally at some point. We have to believe that God can heal anyone and anything.

Personal application: I need to really consider my marriage and what it is revealing about God. Do we demonstrate the seven aspects of love toward one another and others?
I loved the challenge to parents. I am not yet a parent, but I have a passion for encouraging young women to pursue purity. It's essentially the basis for the book I'm writing. I need to continue to work diligently toward it's completion as this message is relevant and needed.

Door-to-door Jam

2009-06-03T13:45:00.007-04:00

A few months ago I was pondering how to become engaged in my community, more specifically with those in my neighborhood. I have met a lot of people through tennis which has been nice. And many of our immediate neighbors are pretty friendly, though we're not always in the loop as we have no kids. However, there are still several on our block I've never met or don't know their names, most particularly our neighbor immediately to our right. I was trying to figure out how to meet everyone. At Halloween a lot of neighbors gather in the cul-de-sac to have a potluck and pass out candy, but that's only once a year. I had thought about hosting a social or something, but we've been too busy to add another event.

About a month ago I picked strawberries and made waaaaaay too much freezer jam. I decided that passing it out would be a great way to say hi and connect. Who doesn't like strawberry jam, right? (Apparently Neal doesn't.) So I settled on that idea, but have been remiss in following through. Part of it is not knowing when people are home. The other part is I'm not particularly outgoing and the idea of going door to door (even though I'm not selling something) makes me a little nervous.

Recently I've been praying for courage because I know it's something that needs to be done (and the jam is taking up too much space in the freezer). Yesterday afternoon, as I was preparing to go to the gym, I figured it was as good a time as any to drop some off to people so I put six containers in a cooler and headed out. I figured it wouldn't take long. Two and a half hours later I realized I was not visiting the gym that day.

My first stop was our neighbor two doors down. I knew that the woman worked from home so I figured she would be available. Unexpectedly she invited me in to sit and talk. She shared that it seemed like good timing because her family had just learned a week or two before that her husband has cancer. They removed it but he still has to go through radiation. She asked for prayer. Apart from that, I learned a lot about her and her family. It made me thankful that I was finally being faithful to what I needed to do.

My second and third stops were to next door neighbors who were outside. We all chatted for a bit. One of the women is someone I have spent more time with than most of the other neighbors. It wasn't very long, but I passed out jam to both of them.

The fourth stop was to a family I had only spoken to at the Halloween potluck. I learned that the husband recently had surgery and is on disability. They were preparing to go to the pool so I didn't stay very long.

The fifth visit was up the street to the police officer's house. I hadn't really talked to him since Halloween either. He was a little skeptical about my purpose until I told him I lived three houses down. He remembered my husband and asked how Adam was doing. Kind of funny to me.

My last stop of the afternoon was to a house whose inhabitants I had never met. I had seen the woman going in to the house on the way up to number five so I knew someone was home. I rang the door bell and waited as a dog barked inside. I waited long enough that I didn't think anyone was coming. As I was headed back down the driveway the front door opened. So I met the lady and told her who I was. We talked for a while on her front porch. She's lived here since the beginning of the neighborhood. At one point she asked what I was doing and I told her I was trying to meet some of the neighbors and gave her the jam. She's very friendly.

All in all a very successful first venture. Not at all what I had anticipated. Much, much better in fact. I still have a number of other houses to visit, including our next door neighbor, but I am very encouraged after yesterday. I don't really know what all will come of this, but I am enjoying the process all the same as it's stretching me a little.

How has God been stretching you? How do you engage your community?

3...2...1...Contact

2009-06-03T13:26:00.005-04:00

God is so good! I guess He's reading my blog because he certainly responded to the last one. Obviously, not in the comments section or I wouldn't have to tell you about it.

Okay, so I talked about how God has previously humbled me regarding being frustrated with initiating contact with friends. And I really have been okay with this fact as of late. I made plans to attend a friend's bachelorette party in order to spend some time with her (because we all know you don't talk to the bride or groom at their actual wedding and reception). We all had a blast and I am glad that I was proactive. We are headed up to N.C. next weekend for Adam's high school reunion and I have contacted my friends in Winston-Salem to get together while we're up there. I also called a friend I haven't spoken to since December and left her a message. She left me a message so hopefully we'll connect later this week. All of these people mean enough to me that I am willing to put forth an effort even if I'm always the one making contact. (For those of you who don't hear from me, that doesn't mean that I don't like you. Feel free to call me and let me know you're offended. It'll be a great way for us to K.I.T.)

On top of all this exciting catching up, in the last few days I've had two unexpected contacts. My friend Renee emailed me to say that she and the family will be in Atlanta later this week and to see what my schedule looked like. I am so excited to see her and to meet her kids. I haven't seen her since my wedding nearly three years ago. Last night my friend Kim called to say that she and her family will be stopping in Atlanta on their way to Elizabeth City next week and was wondering what we would be up to. I don't work Tuesdays, generally, so I am looking forward to seeing them. I haven't seen her since her first daughter was born a few months after our wedding so that will be fun. God is truly blessing me!