Abiding

I hear and read a lot about the importance of abiding in Christ. What I don't understand is how you know that you are truly abiding. I've seen formulas (Prayer + the Word + Time = Abiding) but if it's ritual then it's not authentic, right? Obviously, these are good things that we should be doing, but one can do all the right things and not have the mind and heart needed to truly abide.

Jesus says, "Remain [abide] in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:4-5).

Okay, so this means that if there is fruit in my life then I am abiding. But what kind of fruit? Am I receiving insights through the Word? Am I having positive, encouraging relationships with others? Am I sharing Christ with receptive people? If God seems silent, does that mean I'm not abiding?

I really do want to comprehend this because I desperately want to be near to God and to be useful to him. I want him to be able to say, "Well, done, good and faithful one." (Matt. 25:21)

There are some days when I really feel like I am in tune with God through the Holy Spirit. The Scripture yields "aha" moments. I am humbled by my brokenness and truly see my need for God in my life. My prayers seem powerful and pleasing to God. God reveals his love to me in a personal way. But those days are not the majority of my days and I want them to be.

Does anybody have any thoughts?