Sex and the Soul

I recently read a book called Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance and Religion on America's College Campuses by Donna Freitas. It was a book resulting from her research on different college campuses ranging from evangelical Christian schools to Catholic schools to secular universities. It was quite interesting to read about her conversations with a variety of college students.

There were definitely a lot of differences between the atmosphere at the evangelical Christian schools and the other types. It was interesting to learn that Catholic campuses were pretty much the same as secular universities in attitudes and behaviors.

While I was reading the book, I was thinking about my experiences while at school. I could see how religion could be divorced from sexual experiences on many universities, even if one is a Christian. I did flounder spiritually until I got involved in a campus Christian group and was able to spend time with others who shared my beliefs and values. I needed people who would encourage me to live what I believe and to help me grow in my spiritual relationship with God. If I hadn't found the group, I don't know what I would be like now.

When I arrived on campus, there was no one really telling me what churches were in the area or what groups were available on campus to become involved in. Sure there's a link on the school website that lists all of the organizations on campus, but how does that help me find one that is a good fit? I didn't have any friends who could point me in the right direction.

The book also opened my eyes more to what many students experience on college, the hook-up culture. Yes, I saw bits and pieces of it but it wasn't really part of my personal experience. I'm sure part of it was due to my lack of involvement in the party scene. I can't imagine trying to develop a committed, respectful relationship out of a one night stand. And yet, according to the book, this is what many women hope because they do not see another way of attracting a guy.

The book filled me with sorrow and compassion for all of the young men and women who cannot see a way out of the pressure-filled social scene laced with alcohol and casual sex. It has made me even more desirous to complete the book I'm working on to get it out there. Perhaps if more options were presented, it would help students to think what they truly want for themselves rather than going with the flow.

Explicit Lyrics Week 3

Great Sexpectations
Song of Songs 4:1-5:1

I listened to this sermon on my way to work yesterday so I probably don't have as many notes as normal due to the fact that I had to remember them and write them down after I finished driving.

Jeff said that most of the world seeks sex as god and that the church tends to portray sex as gross. What needs to happen is for sex to be seen as God created it to be. Yep, God created sex which means that it's not inherently sinful. It's all in how you use the gifts God gives.

Jeff said that great sex is selfless and takes its time. In Scripture we see Solomon complimenting his wife. He starts with her head and works his way down. He is tender with her. He is not rough nor does he rush.

Women have a desire to know and understand a man's mind and heart. Men have a desire to know and understand a woman's anatomy. (Verbal vs. visual)

A wife is her husband's only legitimate source of sexual fulfillment. The woman needs to help her husband keep a pure heart and mind by meeting his needs. 1 Cor 7 is mentioned.

Jeff also says that great sex is sensuous. Women enjoy the emotional, romantic side of love making the most. To a woman, great sex is gentle and slow. To a man, great sex is responsive sex.

The charge for the week was to pray the following prayer: "Dear God, help me to know what to do to please my mate emotionally and sexually, and then give me the desire to do it."

It seems like great sex can be difficult because by nature we are all selfish. We have to first get out of the mind set that it is all about us. If we are to acknowledge that men and women have different needs in sex and set out to meet them, it is likely that in the process our own will be met. When someone gives you a great gift, you usually want to express your appreciation in a reciprocal matter. Why would it be different in this scenario?

My application: Acknowledge and appreciate the differences between men and women. Remember that "it is more blessed to give than to receive". Seek to meet my husband's needs.