Christ Centered Marriage

I listened to Christ Centered Relationships part 2 from Cornerstone Church this morning while on the elliptical machine at the gym. It's a great way to make valuable use of time and engage my mind along with my body.

Lisa Chan did most of the speaking toward women/wives. It talked a lot about Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, focusing on submitting to our husbands. Her focus was about us being/becoming the godly women we were created to be. To concern ourselves with being obedient to Christ in our lives. It's not about what our spouses are or are not doing. We cannot wait for them to do what they are supposed to do before we do what we are supposed to do. Our call is to do what God wants us to do in spite of what everyone else is doing.

The question is, Is Jesus really our role model (who we are trying to be more like) or is he just a Savior? Do we like what he did for us simply for our benefit or do we want to be more like him? Do we want to demonstrate service and sacrifice like he did or just admire him for it?

Lisa talked cited 1 Peter 3 in reminding us that our actions can have a lot of power. Especially to wives whose husbands are not Christ followers. Being Christ to our husbands can cause changes in them (while at the same time changing us, obviously). Wives need to remember that God knows us and he knows our spouse. He hasn't left us to ourselves, but is working in us and through us.

I was really hit by the call to serve and sacrifice for our spouses. (I think there was a third "s" but I can't remember what it was.) I do want to be a godly wife and to support (maybe that was the third "s"?) my husband and to trust him as the head of our family. God created this system and he knows what he's doing and I ought to honor that. I was thinking about how it's hard to get out of my selfish mindset even in marriage to truly seek to serve Adam. And even harder to purposefully sacrifice myself and my dreams.

We all have these goals for our lives and, when we get married, we bring them with us. At some point there may be friction between what we have always wanted and what is asked of us in marriage. Francis talked about Lisa's dream to be a professional singer and choosing to give that up so that she and her husband could share the same vision of starting a new church. I don't know if I have any dreams that will have to be put aside for my marriage, but I'd like to think that I would be willing to do so. It was a very poignant and challenging message. If you'd like to hear it for yourself, go here and scroll down to the message on 08/10/08.

P.S. The third S was "suffering" (as in Jesus served, suffered, and sacrificed). I don't exactly know that anyone would want to say they "suffer" in their marriage. Might not come across very well...

Trusting God

I just finished listening to a message titled Christ Centered Relationships (pt 1) by Francis and Lisa Chan at Cornerstone Church. It was soooo good. I really needed to hear it. In it, I was reminded that I am to get all of my fulfillment from God. My husband is not supposed to meet all of my needs, God is. Marriage may last a lifetime, but then there's eternity and our purpose on this earth is to show God's love to the world - to everyone. Christ's love was not selfish - he did not focus on getting his part or having his needs filled up. His focus was on reaching those who needed love and glorifying the Father.

Like we've all heard before, marriage is not about happiness but holiness. God has a purpose for our marriage, if we are married. When we meet him after death, he is not going to ask if we had a happy marriage. He is going to ask if we pointed others to him. This world is passing away and we need to focus on what is next.

Paul exhorted married people to live as they were single (1 Corinthians 7:29-31). Chan explained this that we are not to get completely wrapped up in our families, but to continue to love and serve others. Not that we're supposed to ignore our spouses, but that we are to still serve God in marriage by serving others (including our spouses). The Chans were much more eloquent in their delivery and you may prefer to hear it for yourself here (07/27/08 message).

Francis talked about feeling God's calling to start a church just three weeks after he and Lisa were married. Lisa's response that when she married him she believed that God would lead her and their through him really hit me. Is that what I believe in my own marriage? God says that the man is the spiritual head. Do I trust him at his word and live that in our marriage? I want to if I'm not. My desire is to trust that God's plan for marriage and his set up of the roles of husbands and wives is best and to submit to his design. It's such an eye opener. It isn't about whether or not I trust my husband. It's bigger than that. It's do I trust that God knows what is best for me? He created me. All his ways right and true.

What application do I have from this message? It's for me to answer the question, "Do I really trust God?" And if I do, then I must act like it. I know that he is trustworthy, but I must put feet to my faith. I also need to look to God rather than my husband to meet all of my needs. Once again, it's a trust issue. Do I trust God to come through for me? If I do, then I must act like it. I guess that's my new mantra: If I trust God, then I must act like it.

What about you? Do you struggle with trusting God? What would it look like for you to act like you do?