Christ Centered Marriage

I listened to Christ Centered Relationships part 2 from Cornerstone Church this morning while on the elliptical machine at the gym. It's a great way to make valuable use of time and engage my mind along with my body.

Lisa Chan did most of the speaking toward women/wives. It talked a lot about Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, focusing on submitting to our husbands. Her focus was about us being/becoming the godly women we were created to be. To concern ourselves with being obedient to Christ in our lives. It's not about what our spouses are or are not doing. We cannot wait for them to do what they are supposed to do before we do what we are supposed to do. Our call is to do what God wants us to do in spite of what everyone else is doing.

The question is, Is Jesus really our role model (who we are trying to be more like) or is he just a Savior? Do we like what he did for us simply for our benefit or do we want to be more like him? Do we want to demonstrate service and sacrifice like he did or just admire him for it?

Lisa talked cited 1 Peter 3 in reminding us that our actions can have a lot of power. Especially to wives whose husbands are not Christ followers. Being Christ to our husbands can cause changes in them (while at the same time changing us, obviously). Wives need to remember that God knows us and he knows our spouse. He hasn't left us to ourselves, but is working in us and through us.

I was really hit by the call to serve and sacrifice for our spouses. (I think there was a third "s" but I can't remember what it was.) I do want to be a godly wife and to support (maybe that was the third "s"?) my husband and to trust him as the head of our family. God created this system and he knows what he's doing and I ought to honor that. I was thinking about how it's hard to get out of my selfish mindset even in marriage to truly seek to serve Adam. And even harder to purposefully sacrifice myself and my dreams.

We all have these goals for our lives and, when we get married, we bring them with us. At some point there may be friction between what we have always wanted and what is asked of us in marriage. Francis talked about Lisa's dream to be a professional singer and choosing to give that up so that she and her husband could share the same vision of starting a new church. I don't know if I have any dreams that will have to be put aside for my marriage, but I'd like to think that I would be willing to do so. It was a very poignant and challenging message. If you'd like to hear it for yourself, go here and scroll down to the message on 08/10/08.

P.S. The third S was "suffering" (as in Jesus served, suffered, and sacrificed). I don't exactly know that anyone would want to say they "suffer" in their marriage. Might not come across very well...

The Psalms: Week Four

This past Sunday Neal spoke to us about Psalm 23. You can listen to the sermon here. What follows are my notes from the message.


From Psalm 23 we learn three things about the shepherd.

1. The Shepherd's Person

Psalm 23:1 > Our shepherd provides for all of our needs - we should be content in what God's given us.


John 10:11 > Jesus is the good shepherd

Isaiah 53:6 > We all, like sheep, have gone astray


Sheep are very easily led. They have great hearing, sight, and sense of smell. People also tend to be easily led. That's why we need a good leader.


An example of a good leader/shepherd (video Neal shared).

2. The Shepherd's Provision

Verses 2-5
Sometimes we have to be forced to rest. A sheep will not rest until four criteria have been met: Fear (danger), Friction (relationship issues, turmoil), Fleas (annoyances), Famine (hunger).

Restores my soul - rescuing a sheep that has become stuck (has rolled onto side and cannot get back onto its own feet) which is often due to laziness, being loaded down, or being too large. It has to be picked up/rescued by the shepherd and set back down on its feet again.

3b - What if we lived our lives in order to lift up the name of Jesus?

4 - Just because we're following God's leading doesn't mean that there won't be storms (valley of the shadow of death). Sometimes where God wants us to be means going through turmoil.

Our rod is God's word. It protects our lives and is also used for discipline. Our staff is the Holy Spirit that comforts us.

5 - Anoint head with oil - oil used to set apart (as in a king), protection/healing (from diseases).

3. The Shepherd's Promise
Verse 6 - Goodness and love/mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
Neal quoted out of Phillip Keller's A Shepherd's Look at Psalm 23. He was talking about how sheep have good quality manure that can help regenerate grass in derelict soil. "In other words goodness and mercy, goodness and love had followed my flocks. They left behind them something worthwhile, productive, beautiful and beneficial to both themselves and others and me. Where they had walked, there followed fertility and weed-free land. Where they had lived there remained beauty and abundance. And here's the question that now comes to me very pointedly. 'Is this true in my life? Do I leave a benediction and a blessing behind me?'"

Do I bless the things I'm involved in?

Would people be shocked to learn that I am a Christ follower based on their experiences with me?

I really enjoyed the breakdown and the poignant questions at the end. Do I really make a difference for the better in the things I'm involved with? Does my behavior demonstrate love and mercy to others? These are questions I should constantly ask to evaluate my effectiveness.

During the message I was reminded of another video on this book. I have to attach it because it's awesome.

Trusting God

I just finished listening to a message titled Christ Centered Relationships (pt 1) by Francis and Lisa Chan at Cornerstone Church. It was soooo good. I really needed to hear it. In it, I was reminded that I am to get all of my fulfillment from God. My husband is not supposed to meet all of my needs, God is. Marriage may last a lifetime, but then there's eternity and our purpose on this earth is to show God's love to the world - to everyone. Christ's love was not selfish - he did not focus on getting his part or having his needs filled up. His focus was on reaching those who needed love and glorifying the Father.

Like we've all heard before, marriage is not about happiness but holiness. God has a purpose for our marriage, if we are married. When we meet him after death, he is not going to ask if we had a happy marriage. He is going to ask if we pointed others to him. This world is passing away and we need to focus on what is next.

Paul exhorted married people to live as they were single (1 Corinthians 7:29-31). Chan explained this that we are not to get completely wrapped up in our families, but to continue to love and serve others. Not that we're supposed to ignore our spouses, but that we are to still serve God in marriage by serving others (including our spouses). The Chans were much more eloquent in their delivery and you may prefer to hear it for yourself here (07/27/08 message).

Francis talked about feeling God's calling to start a church just three weeks after he and Lisa were married. Lisa's response that when she married him she believed that God would lead her and their through him really hit me. Is that what I believe in my own marriage? God says that the man is the spiritual head. Do I trust him at his word and live that in our marriage? I want to if I'm not. My desire is to trust that God's plan for marriage and his set up of the roles of husbands and wives is best and to submit to his design. It's such an eye opener. It isn't about whether or not I trust my husband. It's bigger than that. It's do I trust that God knows what is best for me? He created me. All his ways right and true.

What application do I have from this message? It's for me to answer the question, "Do I really trust God?" And if I do, then I must act like it. I know that he is trustworthy, but I must put feet to my faith. I also need to look to God rather than my husband to meet all of my needs. Once again, it's a trust issue. Do I trust God to come through for me? If I do, then I must act like it. I guess that's my new mantra: If I trust God, then I must act like it.

What about you? Do you struggle with trusting God? What would it look like for you to act like you do?

Must-See TV?

A while ago I read a book titled Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of the Fallen World. It was a pretty interesting read. It really got me thinking about what I watch on television and in the movies. More recently I've been more aware of the things that I am viewing and do have a desire to be more intentional with my viewing. There's always an opportunity for a lot of wasted time staring at nothing (which is also applicable to computer time).

This book reminded me that I should watch things that honor God and are beneficial. It really caused me to consider the shows I currently watch regularly. Does the content show actual consequences for behavior? Does it applaud a behavior that God does not condone? What is the language like? Are any of the characters hostile or derogatory toward God?

I do desire to please God in all that I do. There are shows that I currently follow that do have questionable content. They are prime time shows that are witty and entertaining but sometimes the things that are shown as okay are not okay according to scripture. The hard thing is that I really enjoy these shows and am "hooked" on them. It is much easier to decide not to start watching new shows with negative content rather than to stop watching current shows with this content. It would be somewhat easier to do so if they were shows that only I follow. But I talk about them with others. I know that I could survive without these shows - really without a t.v. period. But part of me doesn't want to. So I know what would be best for me and am struggling with myself to do it.

I know that it should come down to loving God more than my own enjoyment and that I can find enjoyment in other things. I'm definitely not all the way there, but I am determined to make smarter choices in future movie and TV viewings. I would recommend this book and will share a few quotes from it.

What does it look like when the blood of Christ governs the television and the internet and the iPod and the checkbook and the neckline? P.11

Maybe, for all it's simplicity, we're not exactly sure what it means. What is the author, John, getting at here? What does it mean for a Christian - what does it mean for me - not to love the world? Does it mean I can't watch MTV or go to an R-rated movie? Do I have to give up my favorite TV shows? Is it okay to watch a movie as long as I fast-forward the sex scene? How much violence or language is too much? P.16-17

Whatever the reason, this verse (1 John 2:15) makes you uncomfortable. It invades your personal space. You're afraid if you get too close, these ten little words might come between you and the things in the world you enjoy. You're reluctant to discuss "worldliness" because then you might have to change. P.18

Promoting an evil message is presenting sin in an appealing light. P.61

Whether we're aware of it or not, each of us has a set of beliefs and assumptions about ourselves and about the world we inhabit. Through the lens of these beliefs and assumptions - our worldview - we interpret our experiences, draw conclusions, and make decisions. Ultimately, our world view determines how we live. P.141

We're all plagued by the tendency to compartmentalize some aspects of our lives as spiritual, good, and holy and others as unspiritual, unimportant, and amoral. Perhaps you're familiar with this impulse: "God really cares about my devotions, my church involvement, my tithe, and my sharing the gospel. Those are important. But my work? Just a necessary evil. Home responsibilities? They've got to get done. My free time? That's my time (as long as I don't sin)." Such thinking demeans Christ's lordship and impoverishes our spiritual life, rendering our faith irrelevant to 98 percent of our daily existence. No wonder so many lack passion in their Christian lives. P.155-156

All of life affords one long opportunity to experience God, to serve God, to be used by God, as we receive from him our gifts, callings, and opportunities and the power to utilize them for his glory. P.161