Grace Received

Yesterday at church I was discouraged and annoyed at myself that I really slacked off on quiet time with God during the previous week when we were on vacation. I know that I really struggle with maintaining an established time when my routine changes, but it's not an excuse. Before communion, I was thinking about this and repenting for my lack of discipline. I hate that this happens so often and yet I am not sure how to change it. I know that God would be just fine with a few minutes here and there throughout the day and yet I can't even manage to do that some days. I feel like I am a slave to the first thing in the morning quiet time of prayer and reading. I act like if I can't do that, then I shouldn't do anything.

I was still thinking about this after communion when we were singing a song I hadn't heard before. The lyrics said something about having regrets followed by the chorus of "O how you love me". I so needed the reminder of God's grace and unfailing love at that moment and that's what I got. I was overwhelmed by the truth that God loves me despite my behavior. Nothing I do or fail to do will change how he feels about me! Sometimes I forget my need for grace, but I was quite appreciative of the reminder and the ability to receive it yesterday. Praise God for his endless supply!

Do you ever forget about your need for grace? Have you been blessed by God's faithfulness lately?

Storyteller Week 4

I was in the nursery last week so I missed Neal's message on the Good Samaritan. If you're interested, you can hear it by clicking here. Below is this past week's message notes. It was really good. I would recommend listening to it.


Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

Matthew 20:1-16

Some worked twelve hours, some nine, some six, some three, and others only one hour yet they all received the same wage.

"Vineyard" was a common metaphor for "the people of Israel" in Jesus' day.

To work for "whatever is right," you have to have a great deal of trust in your employer because you are banking on his generosity.

Who would still be hoping to get hired with only one hour left in the work day? Those who were truly desperate. No work = no food.

Normally, the all-day workers were paid first. In this story, the one hour workers are paid first. If the employer had followed the normal system, the all-day workers would never have known that they were all paid equally.

Instead of lauding the owner's generosity, the all-day workers are furious that they were all paid equally. They, like our society, feel that the harder one works, the longer one's been at work, the more one contributes, the more is expected to be received in comparison to a newbie on the job.

Jesus' intent was to show the hidden sense of entitlement, the feeling of unfairness, and the economy of grace. Grace isn't about counting at all. The story is about who can be forgiven by God and allowed into the kingdom. Everyone is welcome at any time (any point in one's life, young or old).

Performance-based Christianity (all day workers) - we miss out on our need of grace; instead we feel entitled to it. Instead of feeling grateful for being chosen, we feel cheated because others we feel are "less deserving" also receive the same grace.

Grace-based Christianity - relationship based on trust, not a contract; we are overjoyed at the grace we receive, knowing that it is undeserved.

We are often outraged at the abundance of God's grace and the seeming unfairness of it. We often fail to remember that we are just as unworthy of grace as anyone else. Why do we tend to identify with (assume that we are) the workers who were hired first? We are all, in fact, latecomers in the story.

We are envious of God's generosity. He continues to seek out workers for his vineyard, even without benefit to himself.

"God dispenses gifts, not wages...If we were paid deservingly, we would all end up in Hell." Philip Yancey


This message really hit me. I do tend to see the seeming unfairness of the situation rather than the amazing message of grace that it is. I, too, would be outraged to have worked all day and have been paid equal to the one hour worker, regardless of the contract that had been established when I agreed to work. And it is true, sometimes I do feel like I am "working harder" than others even though we will receive the same reward. I don't know why I feel like I was one of the early ones to the vineyard. I am not supposed to compare myself to others. It is about focusing on my relationship with God. It's about my response to God's grace. I can't determine what other people will do with their gift, only what I will do with mine.

Personal application: Focus on seeking God's desires for me and not compare my efforts, my gifts and talents, my service to those of others. God created us each individually. Therefore, he has different work for us to do. My desire should be to complete the work God has prepared for me to do.

Things God Has Been Showing Me

I was meeting with my accountability partner, Jill, yesterday and shared with her some things I wrote down not too long ago. I had wanted to make sure I didn't forget the insights I have received about myself because I don't necessarily want to have to be reminded again. I'd rather remember and, hopefully, change. She said that she could relate to a lot of them and thought putting them here on the blog would be a good idea because there might be others who understand and/or feel the same. So, if you happen to read this and can relate to anything, please let me know. Thanks!

1. I let fear keep me from doing what I ought to. Allowing fear to win is ultimately saying that I don't trust God to protect or provide for me. Fear is how Satan keeps me from being effective and powerful.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

2. I don't truly live in light of God's love for me. I don't fully grasp or understand his love. God loves me because he created me - he loves me because I am not because I do. I cannot do anything to cause God to love me more or less. He loves me so much that Jesus died for me. How do you love more than that?
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

3. God has forgiven me before I even seek forgiveness - that's what Jesus did. He offered forgiveness without knowing whether I would seek it. He loves me so much he is willing to do whatever it takes to be with me. He risks being rejected by me because he believes that the reward of my love is worth any and all humiliation.
But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son." But the father said to his servants, "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." Luke 15: 20-24

4. I should be willing to risk it all for God because the possible reward is greater than any possible failure or humiliation. It is worth everything.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. I Peter 1:6-7

5. I struggle with making myself vulnerable in my relationships. I know that risking rejection allows for greater intimacy and is worth it but the fear still holds me back. I know that many relationships are not as deep as they could be because both people are hesitant to risk due to the fear of rejection.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom all men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

6. I struggle to give God control of all areas of my life. For example, I want a successful marriage but I act like I am solely responsible for that result. I try to do everything on my own and get frustrated when it doesn't seem to have an effect. I need to constantly and consistently give God the reigns and trust him to do what is needed.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." Luke 9:23-24

7. I concern myself too much with what others think of me and not enough with what God thinks. I try to people please and receive acceptance of others rather than being honest about who I am, what I think, and what I want.
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

8. Why should I fear others learning of the sins of my past? Should it be so surprising that a sinner has sinned? What should be surprising are the sins I haven't committed, the ones God has protected me from. Proof of sin is not evidence that I do not love God. I do love him. I have repented of my sin. My sin is evidence that I need God - his mercy and grace. God knows my heart and knows that I don't want to sin, but the human state of being (weak flesh) has a propensity for sin. Thank God he continues to love me and show compassion toward me! What can man do to me? I know and admit to being a sinner. I have all the acceptance I need in Jesus Christ.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

9. For a long time I have been concerned/a little nervous about publishing the book I am working on because I know that I can't control who reads it and there is the possibility of many people I know reading it. I am concerned about what they will think of my past transgressions, though it shouldn't matter. We all have things we aren't proud of - who are we to judge others for their mistakes? I need to trust God that the risk is worth it and it's for his glory and purposes that this book is being composed.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:4

P.S. - While I was writing my list, I felt the urge to supplement with scriptural truths. Hope it benefited the reading.