Effective Prayer

Last Wednesday, I went to CCC's monthly prayer group. We started meeting in January of this year, I believe. There are usually about five of us who meet, the core four and then a rotation of several. I have enjoyed the intimacy of the group. We are definitely open to more coming, but we haven't made a church announcement because we want it to be composed of people who truly want to pray for our church and one another and not those who think that it may be something "cool" to do, or whatever.



Neal has been leading the meetings since the beginning, but last meeting he invited us to each lead a meeting as well. I volunteered to be the first to lead and had that privilege on Wednesday. Thankfully, I know the group is quite accepting and understanding so I wasn't too worried about what to say. However, I did still want to share something meaningful and relevant to all of us.



While planning, I thought it would be good to talk about my interest in prayer (sort of what has been my desire for seeking opportunities to pray like our prayer group). I have two major desires in prayer. One is to develop a deeper, more intimate relationship with God and the other is to be effective in my prayer life. I reasoned that most people would like to know that their prayers are being heard and answered, so I focused on the second desire.



My first action was to do a Google search on what makes prayer effective. It was interesting to look at the search results, because most of what came back were hindrances to prayer. Obviously, eliminating hindrances would increase effectiveness, but it was interesting that it was more about removing obstacles than building blocks toward effectiveness.



I then thought about James 5:16, "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." I then thought, Okay, so then perhaps I should figure out what it means to be righteous. I thought that perhaps I was missing out on some key ingredient to effective prayer and that if I could just research every word connected to it, perhaps I could find the answer. This was when it hit me: I'm trying to find the ultimate prayer formula to unlocking God's power. That is obviously not going to happen because it's a relationships, not a math problem.



Relationships develop through sharing, honesty, and vulnerability. Perhaps my focus should be not on saying or doing the right thing, but on opening myself up more to God.



Now, I do want to stop and say that I don't think it's bad or wrong to learn about and try different ways of praying. It can certainly be a great way to improve your prayer life and get out of any rut you may be in. I'm just saying you can't rely on one particular method to be the magic key to unlock powerful prayer.



I have been reading Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller and there was a quote in his book that related to my search for effective prayer:



I know it's tempting to believe if we will walk through ten steps or listen to only a certain kind of music or pray in a certain way and for a certain number of days then we will find favor with God, but we won't. The formulas, I understand, were created by their authors to help us, but they do more hindering than helping. If we trust in a formula, if we trust in steps, we are not trusting in God. Formulas, while helping us organize our faith, also tempt us to trust in them rather than in God. p.206



After reading and thinking about all of this, I was satisfied that I'm probably not missing out on the be-all end-all prayer style. So then, was that really my true concern? I think my question of ineffectivity is actually about seeing God's answers to my prayers. I can tell the difference between daily prayer/quiet times and the lack of them so there obviously is some personal benefit/aid in it. But what about all of those requests that I make for myself and others regarding circumstances and hopes and dreams? I feel like I really struggle with looking for/seeking God's response. Part of it is that I, like many others, tend to believe that if I don't see an affirmative response right away then that means my prayer had no power. But that's not true, and I was reminded of this while seeking wisdom about effective prayer.



I was reminded that there is no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God hears and responds to each request. However, sometimes his answer is "no" and we tend to interpret that as God not answering our prayers. Just because you don't get what you ask for doesn't mean it wasn't heard. Your parents said "no" to requests from you. I guess it's harder because we don't necessarily "hear" a "no" from God. We see no action and so God must not have heard us. But "yes" and "no" aren't the only answers. Sometimes there's "not yet" which may be just as discouraging as "no" because it tends to "sound" the same. But for me, the reminder that "not yet" is an option really encouraged me. There are multiple prayers that I know God could answer immediately, but doesn't. It's not because he can't or won't, it's just because I don't know his timing. I was reading somewhere that said that sometimes God waits for the moment in which he will receive the most glory.



I hear many stories of people praying for years for a wayward child, spouse, or parent without much result. And then one day, it happens. The reminder that God can do anything, and that he wants no one to perish but all to come to him encourages me to continue to pray for situations such as these because it is God's desire as well. I know he can't force people to choose him, but he can place people in their path and reveal himself to them in unique ways. Knowing that God hears, gives me determination to be like the widow that continues to go to the judge until he finally issues her justice because he is weary of being hounded by her. And I know that God delights to hear from me. So this, along with the realization that I may have been misinterpreting God's responses, helps me with my struggle.



It was really good to talk about all this among the group to hear other perspectives on seeing answers to prayer and feeling close to God in and through prayer. At one point, I managed to see how my two initial desires connect. If I am drawing nearer to God and deepening my relationship with him, then I will desire his will. If I am desiring his will, then I will seek his heart. Seeking his heart should lead me to pray for his will to be done. If I am praying within his will, then my prayers will most certainly be effective and I ought to see God's action within those prayers. Sort of like a six degrees of separation thing, huh?



So, to sum all of this up, my true goal is and should be to increase my intimacy with God and deepen my relationship with him. I haven't really been sure how to do this because I realize that, generally, between my morning prayer time and the small window before I'm asleep at night I don't really think about God a whole lot. There will be instances here and there where I do, but it's more an exception than the rule.



However, our church is beginning a new series called Soul Revolution which includes a book as well as small group discussion and running partners (even smaller groups which allow for greater honesty and openness). This book has an experiment that everyone is invited to participate in. It's called the 60-60 experiment where, for sixty days, you are to set a watch, timer, or alarm to beep every sixty minutes. At each beep that you hear, you are supposed to reflect on what's going on, remember that God loves you and has great things for you, and recommit yourself to seeking God's will for that, and each subsequent moment. It sounds very challenging, but I think it will really help me to work towards establishing the branch/vine relationship mentioned in Luke 15 that invites us to abide in Jesus. The experiment starts this coming Sunday, October 11th. I am quite excited. I hope to blog some about it as we move through it. I invite you to try the experiment as well if you'd like. Join me as we see what happens when we try to seek God's will in every moment of our lives.

Storyteller Week 4

I was in the nursery last week so I missed Neal's message on the Good Samaritan. If you're interested, you can hear it by clicking here. Below is this past week's message notes. It was really good. I would recommend listening to it.


Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

Matthew 20:1-16

Some worked twelve hours, some nine, some six, some three, and others only one hour yet they all received the same wage.

"Vineyard" was a common metaphor for "the people of Israel" in Jesus' day.

To work for "whatever is right," you have to have a great deal of trust in your employer because you are banking on his generosity.

Who would still be hoping to get hired with only one hour left in the work day? Those who were truly desperate. No work = no food.

Normally, the all-day workers were paid first. In this story, the one hour workers are paid first. If the employer had followed the normal system, the all-day workers would never have known that they were all paid equally.

Instead of lauding the owner's generosity, the all-day workers are furious that they were all paid equally. They, like our society, feel that the harder one works, the longer one's been at work, the more one contributes, the more is expected to be received in comparison to a newbie on the job.

Jesus' intent was to show the hidden sense of entitlement, the feeling of unfairness, and the economy of grace. Grace isn't about counting at all. The story is about who can be forgiven by God and allowed into the kingdom. Everyone is welcome at any time (any point in one's life, young or old).

Performance-based Christianity (all day workers) - we miss out on our need of grace; instead we feel entitled to it. Instead of feeling grateful for being chosen, we feel cheated because others we feel are "less deserving" also receive the same grace.

Grace-based Christianity - relationship based on trust, not a contract; we are overjoyed at the grace we receive, knowing that it is undeserved.

We are often outraged at the abundance of God's grace and the seeming unfairness of it. We often fail to remember that we are just as unworthy of grace as anyone else. Why do we tend to identify with (assume that we are) the workers who were hired first? We are all, in fact, latecomers in the story.

We are envious of God's generosity. He continues to seek out workers for his vineyard, even without benefit to himself.

"God dispenses gifts, not wages...If we were paid deservingly, we would all end up in Hell." Philip Yancey


This message really hit me. I do tend to see the seeming unfairness of the situation rather than the amazing message of grace that it is. I, too, would be outraged to have worked all day and have been paid equal to the one hour worker, regardless of the contract that had been established when I agreed to work. And it is true, sometimes I do feel like I am "working harder" than others even though we will receive the same reward. I don't know why I feel like I was one of the early ones to the vineyard. I am not supposed to compare myself to others. It is about focusing on my relationship with God. It's about my response to God's grace. I can't determine what other people will do with their gift, only what I will do with mine.

Personal application: Focus on seeking God's desires for me and not compare my efforts, my gifts and talents, my service to those of others. God created us each individually. Therefore, he has different work for us to do. My desire should be to complete the work God has prepared for me to do.

Crazy Love

I recently borrowed and read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It is a deep book (with cool interactive website features). I think I'm going to have to get my own copy so that I can highlight all of Francis' profound words and not ruin someone else's copy.

What I gained from it were some not very encouraging and not very surprising insights.

1. I struggle with being lukewarm (as in I am when I would prefer to be hot hot hot).
2. I struggle with being obsessed (as in I am not when I would prefer to be so when it comes to God).
3. I need to (and want to) love God more. I need to pray about my lack of desire/action.
4. I don't really feel like I know how to develop and maintain an intimate relationship with God.

Let me expound on that last one. I desperately want to be completely in love with God so that all of my thoughts and actions are the result of my love for him. I want for my life to be nothing more (and nothing less) than an outpouring of love for my creator and Savior. I want these things, but I can't seem to figure out how to get there. I read books about developing an intimate relationship with God. I try the suggestions in the book. I have a daily quiet time where I pray and read the Bible. I read more books about loving God. I try to find ways to use my time and talents to serve others (not always, but I'm working on it). I feel like in all of this effort I am still missing the mark. I understand that a relationship is not developed through a formula. It's just so hard for me to continually think about God and to converse with him continuously because the tasks of "living" keep occupying space in my mind and day.

I try to think about it as doing what I do to maintain relationships with people I see. I will call them, email them, schedule activities and dinners to spend face-to-face time with them. I'll take pictures to commemorate occasions and post them on Facebook. I give gifts and affection. Okay, so I do this with God too, but I don't feel like it's increasing our intimacy. I think I really struggle sometimes with God's invisible quality (in relation to a physical "being" as I know God's qualities are visible through creation - it's not quite the same). Sometimes I do wish I could sit down across from God and see his facial expressions and reactions to what I tell him. Sometimes I want to give him a hug and feel his reassuring arms around me. I'd love to hear him laugh and see him smile. But I can't. So how do I fill in this gap? I don't know.

I see people who do have a deep and intimate relationship with God. They love him and know that they are loved and cherished by him. And his love is visible on their faces. It makes me wonder, what am I doing wrong? Or what am I not doing? I'm not satisfied with where I am and how I feel, but I don't know how to change it. My only thought is to continue to pray - to tell God that I want more of him, that I want to be completely surrounded by his love so that I do feel different. That I need him to deepen our relationship because I can't seem to do it with my efforts. Maybe that's it. Maybe he's calling for surrender. I guess I'll try that.

WITH 1

Sunday we kicked off our new series WITH. I am very excited about this series. There are all sorts of fun things going on. This past Sunday, we started our "text and win" contest. At the start of service, the band plays a song whose title contains the word "With". The first person to text the name of the song and the artist wins a prize. Travis Crafton won on Sunday, being the first to figure out it was "Only Want To Be With You" by Hootie and the Blowfish. Jeff also tossed out some cool t-shirts and informed the crowd that they could pick one up after service.

Sunday's message was titled, Who Are You With? Below are my notes. For the full message, click here.

People with strong relationships live longer and are more able to battle illness than those who are isolated.

"It is not good for man to be alone." Genesis 2:18

I-It Relationship: one person relates to the other as an object; it's all about MY desires and wants (i.e. The church wasn't meeting my needs. I wasn't getting fed.)

I-Thou Relationship: both people's needs and desires are equally important; serving others and meeting their needs

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 : how would you like a relationship like this? Paul uses the word "agape" which is love that focuses solely on the needs of the other person.

Douglas Copeland quote from Life After God: "Now, here is my secret. I tell it you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again. So I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God - that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give because I no longer seem capable of giving. To help me be kind as I no longer seem capable of kindness. To help me love as I seem beyond being able to love."

We need God to help us love and to help us make relationships all that they can be.

Emmanuel = God WITH us (Jesus)

Jesus was all about being with us, being present at all times. When he left, he sent the Holy Spirit to dwell IN us so that we would never be without him.

God created the church to be where we get 1 Cor 13 relationships.

Will you start or continue to do life in/with the church?

You don't drift toward community but toward isolation. Deep relationships don't just happen.

*Pick one relationship to focus on improving for the next few weeks.


Personal application: I do desire to love others like 1 Corinthians 13 describes. I can't imagine what relationships would be like if we all tried to love like that. I understand that with a love that always trusts, always forgives, and is patient that there is plenty of room for abuse by others. I think that's why more people don't try to love this way. I desire for our church to be a place where people feel welcomed and loved and motivated to love and serve God more. I guess it starts with one.

Shout Out

When I started this blog, the purpose was to share what I am learning about and in my relationship with God. The hope was that my experiences would be an encouragement to others as well as a reminder to me.

I know that I am not very good at posting regularly. It definitely seems to be in spurts. After this last void of nearly two weeks I was wondering whether to continue with it as I am not as faithful as I would like to be nor does it seem to be benefiting anyone (for some reason I have decided that the lack of comments equalled the lack of reading, which certainly isn't true. BTB, I realized that my settings didn't allow everyone to comment even if they wanted to so I think I fixed that).

However, shortly after this thought, Adam told me that one of his friends said she was reading it and enjoyed it. Which made me think about the other handful of people who have mentioned that they, too are reading it. So, to those I remember who have let me know they have read it at one point or another, (LB, JKB, NA, MA, JK, KG, QS), thanks! I appreciate the reminder and the encouragement. If I missed your initials, I'm sorry. Thanks for letting me know that this blog is serving a purpose. As always, I welcome comments and feedback (spoken, emailed, posted, whatever).

P.S. - I would encourage you to check out the Stuff Christians Like blog. I thoroughly enjoy its wit and wisdom. The comments posted by others are often just as funny. I would suggest reading this one and/or this one from past posts.

Prayer

Prayer has always been a subject of interest to me. I am always trying to learn how to be more effective in prayer. I read books about it and study scriptures on prayer. However, I struggle with trying to implement everything I learn. There are many good suggestions on how to pray. I have to be careful about keeping prayer from becoming a ritual rather than a true connection with God. Prayer without passion seems useless.

I know that there is no one right way to pray. I know that everyone does it a little different. I find that writing out my prayers in a journal is effective in keeping me focused. However, I don't always do that because I don't always take time to hear what God is trying to say to me. I may simply write out all of my requests and head on my way.

I have heard of and used the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) method at times as well. I do also pray silently as well as out loud. I guess a lot of it depends on my mood.

As mentioned above, one of my biggest struggles is with listening to God, being silent and still before him. I will ask God to share his will with me but my mind will go off on other thought tangents and it will be a struggle to get my mind refocused. It's one reason I try to avoid silent prayer - I tend to get distracted. Praying out loud or through a journal definitely keep me on track in this area.

I recently finished Jim Cymbala's Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire and it talked a lot about our need for prayer if we are to have any effect in our churches and communities. Some quotes:

If we call upon the Lord, he has promised in his Word to answer, to bring the unsaved to himself, to pour out his Spirit among us. If we don’t call upon the Lord, he has promised nothing – nothing at all. It’s as simple as that. No matter…what we claim to believe in our heads, the future will depend upon our times of prayer. P.27

God has chosen prayer as his channel of blessing. He has spread a table for us with every kind of wisdom, grace, and strength because he knows exactly what we need. But the only way we can get it is to pull up to the table and taste and see that the Lord is good. P.85

The apostles prayed for God to do supernatural things. They wanted people to know their belief was more than positional or theoretical. There was power in their faith. “O God, stretch out your hand – work with us in this.” They wanted a faith that was obviously alive, a faith based not just on the cross but also on the empty tomb. P.138-139

What we are dealing with today is an Old Testament “vow religion” comprised of endless repetitions and commands to do all the right things... There is little dependence on God’s power to make an ongoing difference. There is little calling upon God to revolutionize us in a supernatural way. P.139

I want God to work in my life. I want his power to be evident. I want a faith that others can see. I want to see God move in miraculous ways. I want more of God. We need more God. And how can that happen? By seeking him desperately and diligently through prayer. Our need should drive us to our knees, to call upon God in any and all circumstance. To believe that he is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine.

And that leads to another hang up. When we ask, we are to believe that we have (Mark 11:24). Sometimes I wonder if I truly trust and believe that God will work in the situation. I know that he can, but I wonder if he will come through. My faith is so small sometimes. I hear of people in Africa praying for a man who broke his ankle and him being miraculously healed as a result of their prayers. I want to witness prayer that powerful - to have prayers that powerful. Yet I lack the belief and faith and tenacity in prayer for that to happen. My desire is great, my will is weak. I acknowledge my deficit, how do I change?

Praise the Lord for his willingness to have mercy on me and to encourage me bit by bit! The other day I was struggling with the huge gap between my desire and my actions. I was asking him how I could have more effective prayer. At the end of my heartfelt call, I picked up the Bible and began to read. I felt urged to read in Luke (a book I am reading a little at a time) so I turned to where I had last stopped and God blessed me.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:9-13)

That was such an encouragement to read. To be reminded that I need to be persistent in my requests and that God is gracious to those who seek him.

No, I don't have it all figured out. I have the feeling that this is going to be a lifelong journey, but I am thankful that I have a loving God who will guide me along the way.